I'm not a Girl Next Door...

I'm not a Girl Next Door...

A Poem by harman kour
"

just wrote it because I feel I am different than others... n want to achieve more in all spheres of life...

"
I want to fly high up in the sky,
and want to suceed in whatever I try,
I want to delve deep into the depth of oceans
And take up adventurous expeditions.
I want to be at the top of Mt. Everest;
Enjoy breathtaking views of nature at its best;
Because I am not a girl next door;
Yes I am much... much more.

I wanna wipe out all the misery
Enrich all lives with loads of positivity
I want to taste the elixir of life
Be a part of that world where there's no strife
Let there be love alone, let all evil vanish
I just want all the violence to diminish!

I don't wish everything to happen perfectly,
But at least we can do our jobs sincerely!
Why there's intolerance? Why's there enmity?
Ignore 'en', replace with 'A' let it be Amity!
I ain't one amongst the self-centered herd,
I am different and as carefree as a bird; 

Someday from above I'll see the blue pearl shimmering
I'll get my answer that goodness is winning...
Then again I'll sing with all my heart and soul
That I was not a girl next door
Yes I was much... much more!


© 2017 harman kour



Author's Note

harman kour
these were my honest words now I need to know yours...

My Review

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Reviews

replace this with that and see how it works for you...
Depth - Deep
There's - there is
there's - is there
ain't - am not

Beyond that; it's good, needs a little polishing. some of the words beyond what I pointed out are not the best.

Would love to see you revisit this

Posted 8 Years Ago


I've been avoiding this one. I've read it and reread it and reread it and I still don't know what I want to say about it.

Your grammar is imperfect and weird, and some of your word choices (second to last paragraph especially) boggle me, but it's not exactly bad. If nothing else, though, check out your punctuation. You really don't need as much as you have.

Posted 9 Years Ago


are u really lik this under tht cute face??? MAN! stay AWAY from me!!!!

Posted 9 Years Ago


0 of 2 people found this review constructive.

Hey there, HK. I've heard much about you and I'm glad to be reading more about you in this poem. :D

So yeah...I think this is my first time to review you so I'd like to point out my way of reviewing. I assess both the content and the technical part. Actually more on the former than the latter because I don't consider myself as a poet. :)) Content evaluation contains mostly of my opinions and/or my interpretation of the piece while technical assessment involves meter, rhyme, flow, and the basic grammar problems.

For content, I like the candor of this poem. It is strong but not aggressive. For me, there is actually nothing wrong with being the girl next door because everyone started out that way. Maybe it's just me but I treat each and every person as potential star. It's nice to read your aspirations written in a raw manner that made the whole poem fresh. On the technicals, I commend you for your flow and choice of words. Your imageries are good especially in the first and last stanza. Although I must say that there are certain lines that were too long and seized the essence of rhythm. I advice you to give it a thorough re-reading with a friend and ask him/her how it sounded.

Overall, job well done. :)

Posted 9 Years Ago


I absolutely love this! Don't change who you are. :)
Always remember that people have only one thing in common: They're all different.
thanks for sharing your talent here. ;)

Posted 9 Years Ago


LOVED IT!

So true for each innocent soul i this world (who is untouched by the world's sins)!

So much loved your equation - "Ignore 'en', replace with 'A' let it be Amity!"

And so much related to myself and loved thee lines -
"Because I am not a girl next door;
Yes I am much... much more!!!"

Thanks! thanks so much for sharing! Resembled exactly a poem by my sister. It made be emotional!

Posted 9 Years Ago


This poem is easy to read and flow is smooth. I understand the whole I line I'm not the girl next door. I am like that. I like to do things my own way whether it is wright or wrong. I am a bit feisty and fiery and a whole lot rebellious. This poem has something to say. You did a great job getting your point across.

Posted 9 Years Ago


loved it..!! ""That I was not a girl next door
Yes I was much... much more!!!!!"" these lines bought a smile to my face everytime i read it..!! :) gud job!

Posted 9 Years Ago


I feel the same way! Good work!

Posted 9 Years Ago


Oh dear how you got to me with this..really you made me feel different
someday i will see the world different from what it used to be
someday i will see all the goodness around me and shining
and i will sing from all my heart..at last i saw what i longed to see
i flew up to the skies ,i won in all my tries
i saw no misery no more for i dreamed..i tasted life
i only knew pure love..if i came by near hatred as if i never see,i am blind
everything ,everywhere i walked ,and saw all so perfect
i saw only love and was so free ,like a bird..that flew on a lovely world..i dreamed
this was crazy nice..you dont know how i enjoyed it..such beauty
lovely write..

Posted 9 Years Ago



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Added on March 5, 2010
Last Updated on April 7, 2017

Author

harman kour
harman kour

jammu, j&k, India



About
its hard to describe me... i m a wave- calm n pleasing, a grain- worthless yet with a beauty of its own, i m silence i m depth... i m nothing yet something... more..

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