Your Ashes Remain, So Does My Remorse

Your Ashes Remain, So Does My Remorse

A Poem by MaximumFlight

In this eyeless mind of mine, 
I look from another side,
I can't hide there otherwise I'd be anyone else.
I'm blind not to see anything inside myself.
Deep inside this heart of mine
I can't find every shard of my broken heart.
I'm not smart yet not a fool-
I guess you'll never be part of my world again.
I can't say I'm sorry because you're deaf now.
I never meant what I said; I know how that sounds,
but I walk on the ground you left in silence many nights ago.
It was bound to happen, but I wanted to at least say I'm sorry.
I didn't mean I never wanted to speak to you again;
I never stopped loving you behind the screen.
Every scene has an end, and like a tragedy,
I have to throw the ashes that remain; those ashes are you.
I wish things could've been different,
over my skin, 
I reflect my sin,
when the time comes, I'll be next.

© 2018 MaximumFlight


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Reviews

You expressed your feelings really well.

Posted 5 Years Ago


I do understand the poem my friend.
"I didn't mean I never wanted to speak to you again;
I never stopped loving you behind the screen.
Every scene has an end, and like a tragedy,
I have to throw the ashes that remain; those ashes are you."
The above lines. Real life. When all we have is ashes. Can't be repaired. Thank you for sharing the amazing poetry.
Coyote

Posted 5 Years Ago


"I'm a blind not to see anything inside myself."
was the "a" intentional? It could be.

"Deep inside this heart of mine
I can't find every shard of my broken heart."
That's kinda clumsily worded for a poem. Actually, most of the rest is like that. To many "I"'s and "I'm"'s and full sentences that just seem like prose with random line breaks. I'd rewrite this and focus on word economy and brevity while keeping the same sentiments intact. That might be difficult to keep the same meaning with drastically fewer words but writing good poetry usually is.




Posted 5 Years Ago



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Added on November 13, 2018
Last Updated on November 24, 2018
Tags: remorse, death, loss, broken

Author

MaximumFlight
MaximumFlight

A Graveyard, SC



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