Lord Moon

hey lord moon
submerse with me
eternal doom
slumber on my cool
earthling skin
listen lord moon
i want to cave in
and resign

hey lord moon
i don't want no fumes
and no reminders
sleep with me inside the ocean
with the fish kings and the deep sea sorcerers

lord moon
please blind me to my fantasy
make it so all that is true
is all that is you

Reviews

[ZakLeonRamsey]

I like this. The way you talk about the moon is interesting. The way you describe the moon, yourself and everything involved in this poem, well done. I quite like astronomy as well, so this poem is for me. Who cares if there are no capitals, it isn't the grammar and punctuation, it is the actual writing that counts, don't forget. In this poem, you write informally, which shows this is just the average person speaking and interacting with the moon, or "Lord Moon", as called, (I quite like that name, I want that name :D), because you've put "hey" instead of a formal greeting, such as 'Hello,'. The fact that this poem isn't made out of blank verse, it makes the poem even better because it is catchy, another reason why I like it. You also use writing techniques which is vital to a good poem and a poet, which is very good of you to put in. A poem isn't a poem without interesting descriptions and language techniques, so I think this poem is good. I'm giving this a 100/100, have a good day.

[sette]

this is something else the way you describe the moon into the depth of one's soul is simply amazing.

[Kelly Scheppers]

My soul revels in the lunar delight of this magical piece! I dearly loved your closing verse, and the phrasing of "Lord Moon".

Bravo!