The time we have

The time we have

A Poem by G. Writing
"

All we have is time in this world, cherish it with the one you love.

"
Time stood still 
since the moment
I first saw you.
Hours were passing us by,
As we spoke to each other that night.
This feeling of happiness
made me complete.
This feeling of love you share,
To trust you with my all
to have you,
to hold you,
to kiss you,
to feel you,
To just stare into your eyes
and just dream of what it would be like
to live a life with you.
Come with me
Cherish this love we have
This love we finally found
This love to last us for eternity.

© 2018 G. Writing



Author's Note

G. Writing
I miss her :(

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This poem is certified proof that one day somewhere down the line I would read a poem of yours and not have one suggestion for it. This is so near perfection, I'm almost tempted to forget about my petty notes! But here they are for future reference:

-"As we spoke to each other this one night" (this poem is in the past, and therefore it should be "THAT one night"....but also without the "one", for saying "that night" is better for the musicality).

- "I've never felt this feeling" (unnecessary. a) it contains a repetition that doesn't add anything or mean anything, and b) the line itself doesn't add or mean anything to the poem, and it actually mars the musicality).

other than that, well freaking done!! I felt this poem the entire way!

Posted 9 Months Ago



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Added on July 22, 2017
Last Updated on May 24, 2018
Tags: love, endless, together, moment, time

Author

G. Writing
G. Writing

FL



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