God is Love and He is Hope,

This to enter contest Discovering the truth; God!

God I was told, was a very angry God,

and He did not tolerate misbehaved children.

Yet others would than say, He is Love.

For He sent His only Son to die for us!

And I ended up growing up, much confused

to who God really was and whom He truly Loved.

It would take most of my life, to come to terms 

with my own faith in God, and He never stopped 

Loving me, in spite of my own doubts.

Even in the midst of much pain and heartache, as 

a child, I would look upon the sky and ask God

if He Loved me or not?  And if not I would tell Him

of the things I did wrong, and ask for His forgiveness.

Other times, I would cry out in pain, and beg Him

to give me a new family, one full of Love and less pain.

This never happened, so than I would wonder,

why my life was full of much pain.

Yet, to church I went most of my life, and as 

I would sit, hearing of His deeds and Word, I came to

think, this is not for me, for I am too unworthy and

full of much sin. He loves everyone else, as they are all clean

but as for myself, I would see nothing but sin.

And so it went, as I continued to grow up, I would talk to Him,

but would be scolded as how I prayed, so than I would not pray

at all, or do so in secret.  And there were many a time, in which

I would feel His presence, but not know how 

to take it.

My faith has been tested, time and time again, and instead

of not believing, I never stopped believing.  Yet, He needed to

clear my mind from much lies, that my own dad, had placed within my

head and heart.

And finally the day came in which He took me aside, and opened my eyes

to His truth of my person, past, present and future.

And it was not easy coming face to face with that scar, that had

nearly killed me as a toddler, but finally knowing that it 

truly had happened, helped me finally understand why my life had been so.

So God is my everything, and more so as a Father, and outside of that

He has walked with me, through fire and torment, and slowly peeled 

back all my layers, of self worthlessness, self hatred, and self loathing 

of my body and of myself.

I am still a work in progress but what I have come to learn from all of this 

is that being a christian or a believer does not mean, that I or anyone else

will become sinless and holy. That is a lie in itself, and simply being

that once you believe in Him, life will not stop being full of pain or trials, 

but at least you will have Him by your side, guiding you, and healing you,

and being patient with you and me.

My faith has been made right, due to His Sons sacrifice, in which,

for no reason at all, besides the fact, that His own people,

did not like what He was preaching, did He support pain beyond pain, and bled 

to death, until He passed, yet He was given power to come back from death,

and now lives at His Fathers side.

This I believe, and also that no matter what I do, or not do, say or do not say,

even when I fall in sin, does not mean, that He will stop loving me or turn away from me.

He has never left my side, and as He continues to mold me into becoming 

the woman, I am meant to be, all I have in my heart,

is the desire to serve Him by helping those that as myself, find themselves

in a pit full of pain, bitterness, hate, and so much more.  

To let them see that there is a light beyond that tunnel full of terror and darkness.

See, at least for me, He is more than just God, He brought me 

Hope, Love, Forgiveness and best of all, my heart that used to be 

full of much hatred and bitterness is no longer, as stone, but of flesh.

In Him I found a purpose to live onward, and to never give up

no matter what comes my way, and this in itself,

does not mean, that I am perfect, for I am full of much

imperfection and my scars are still there, but I have much

to be thankful for, and hope to do my best

in helping out those that are needing of love, guidance and acceptance,

within this broken world.For 

God is Love and He is Hope, and that for me is more than enough.

Reviews

[Phill Oz O'fee]

This is what your poignantly penned piece means to me:

A Nail
The dictionary describes a nail as; a slender, typically rod-shaped rigid piece of metal, usually in any of numerous standard lengths from a fraction of an inch to several inches and having one end pointed and the other enlarged and flattened, for hammering into or through wood or other building materials.
It can also mean; to make fast or keep firmly in one place or position.
Consider this;

Acts 2:23-25 (New International Version - UK)
23 This man was handed over to you by God's set purpose and foreknowledge; and you, with the help of wicked men, put him to death by nailing him to the cross. 24 But God raised him from the dead, freeing him from the agony of death, because it was impossible for death to keep its hold on him. 25 David said about him: 'I saw the Lord always before me. Because he is at my right hand, I will not be shaken.
Jesus paid the price for all our sins, because he loved us. He endured the cross, not for his well-being, but for ours and all who suffer in the world. In the same way, God calls his faithful community to take upon themselves the brokenness of the world. It wouldn't have mattered if YOU were the only person on earth, Jesus would still have died, just for you.
The good news; Jesus is no longer nailed to the cross! He has given us the opportunity to take our tribulations and nail them to the cross; in prayer, testimony, faith and humility.
Thank you for sharing – God Bless ………