For my Birth Mom

For my Birth Mom

A Poem by Maria
"

As I have stated, I was adopted at the age of 3 months old. And life was pretty hectic, yet in the end, my life came to be through my real mother, that carried me and gave me life.

"




Hi, its me...

I grew within your womb,
and no one knew,
just God and you.
I was so tiny and frail,
and you were scared,
yet you pulled through.
I could have been terminated,
yet you chose to 
give me a chance at life.




Once I came into this world,
there was a war raging,
and you were so young.
You were probably judged
and insulted; pushed aside,
and yet you loved me.
Eventually, you were left
all alone, struggling to raise
a baby, all on your own.
In the end, you fought
and tried to make
it work, but failed.
And in the end, a plan 
was formed, but not
so lightly, for you did love me.






I cannot say, that I blame you,
for I ended in the same
place as you, just a tad older.
Know that I love you,
even, if I cannot 
fully remember you.
You allowed me to live,
while others told 
you to get rid of me.
And you kept me close,
until, you could hide,
me no more.
God led you to that place,
where you ended 
leaving me behind.
He knew what would happen,
even if you nor I 
had a clue.
The only memory I have
of you, is when you 
knelt in front of me.
Weeping and crying, as if
the world was ending,
you hesitated, for just a second.
I being a babe, did not 
understand, yet something
deep within me shattered.
I wailed and tried getting up
off the ground, to no avail.
And struggled to free my arms, to no avail.
You had long, black hair, and were of 
small stature, just like me,
and were dressed so simply.
I could not see your face, for
your hands were covering
it. But wept you did and so did I.
As you got up to leave,
you took one last look
at me, and off you went.
I wailed and cried with 
all my might, as people 
passed me by.





Yet no one stopped nor wondered
how I ended up on the street.
They had no care for me.
And as I lifted up my head, 
towards your direction,
I could see you, looking back at me.
And after that you disappeared,
forever from my life.
And I was picked up by the nuns.
I was merely a month old, no more
than that, but that day, part 
of my soul died.
After that day, I would rarely cry,
for you never came back
for me.
I ended growing ill,
for I did not eat well,
nor did I care.
All I wanted was for you
to come and take me 
back in your arms.
Day in and day out,
I saw other strangers come
on in, and take babies away.
Yet, no one ever looked my way,
for the Nuns, stated that I was 
a weakling.
So, there I was, left 
to die, covered in filth and flies.
And even then, I never cried.
My skin broke out in a nasty rash,
and my hair started falling out,
and my body was weakened.
Part of me, yearned for your touch,
and your scent, knowing that you
were there, yet were not.
I missed you so, that when 
I would cry, it be a bitter wail.
And no one would even care.


Now, see here, in the end
God was always in control,
of my life and had not forgotten me.
So finally the day came, in which,
my new Mom, came for me,
and took me out of that awful place.
Her eyes were big and wide, and her skin
so cool and soft. Her hair,
so curly and such soft hands she had.
I knew deep within, that she was 
not you, but yet she chose to 
Love me still.





And so in the end, I gave 
up waiting on you, and decided
to give them a chance.
Life as God had planned
did not go so well,
yet in the end, I have survived.
Scarred and battered, bruised and 
beaten, yet here I stand.
God alone, has seen me through
hail and storm.  And I never 
thought of you long after.
Yet a part of me still longed for you,
whenever I was beaten, and I 
would wail and cry just for you,
yet you never came.



Here I am, a grown adult,
and single mother too,
and struggling day to day.
I wonder if you would want 
to meet me, and love me 
all over again.
I am sure you are married
and had other children, 
would any remind you of me?
Its ok, I am alright, cause God
is with me. And if we meet,
here on earth, I hope to be
welcomed back into your arms.
If we meet up in heaven,
I hope to be able to 
reconnect.  
For in the end, God used you to 
create me, and I was given
 the gift of life.
Thank you for having loved me so,
and given me a chance
of a better life.
It was not perfect by any means
yet I have learned so much.
And I thank you, even today,
for without you, I would not exist
nor would my own daughter be
here as well.





© 2017 Maria


Author's Note

Maria
All pictures I got from Google.

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Added on August 5, 2017
Last Updated on August 5, 2017
Tags: mother, abandoned, newborn, birth, Love, God, life, adoption

Author

Maria
Maria

Fairfax, VA



About
I write from my heart, soul and mind. Sharing both past and present trials, that I have faced and or am facing. I believe strongly in God and the Bible, yet I respect everyone's views. I myself am no.. more..

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