Intangible

Intangible

A Poem by Metaphantom
"

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"

Observing the fabric of the skin the structure of the face


The soul inside, behind the veil, that puts a lover in their place


Immersed by the atoms in fusion to bring beauty to the beast


For infinity it seemed she knew every part of me beneath


The way I breathe, the way my heart beats rapidly in nearness


Energy in waves that feeds the courage to stay fearless


In the stillness, in the motion, in the way she shows devotion


Enchanting, enhancing every bit of my mind with notions


Beyond carnal, she is seductive to my spirit to the core


The mirror to every lyric I have written to my journal before


If only she she was tangible


© 2017 Metaphantom



Author's Note

Metaphantom
i don't care....

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Featured Review

You've got a lot of structure and I suggest you breath. I would love to see you free write. It's a very pleasing read to the eyes but if it were just a little more raw I think it would stand out more. You write the opposite as me, I think it's very pretty.

Posted 2 Weeks Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

It is refreshing for me to see the intelligence behind and within your writing. You are a thinker who feels deeply and resonates with a rhythm all your own. There is sensitivity and strength and thoughtfulness within.

Posted 2 Weeks Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Well done, this. I cull from this, that you are an observant man. This is good stuff.

Posted 2 Weeks Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Longingly dreaming

Great Read

Matthew

Posted 2 Weeks Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

This deserves praise of the highest accord... You are now a favorite, aha... The flow and meter and breath, superb... Easily spit, and absolutely dope wordplay... Syllable slanting and dissonance are used correctly, in my opinion... Your background in hip hop shows... Immersion of atoms for beastly beauty... I love it, mate...

Posted 2 Weeks Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I don't know how to not make it structural, because I am a hiphop artist, so everything would be always rhyming hidden dimes inside, and line for line on time, boom bap, a crooners rap, toe tapping, soul the whole damn thing is that, and that is that.

how was that for a freestyle response? lol

Posted 2 Weeks Ago


You've got a lot of structure and I suggest you breath. I would love to see you free write. It's a very pleasing read to the eyes but if it were just a little more raw I think it would stand out more. You write the opposite as me, I think it's very pretty.

Posted 2 Weeks Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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216 Views
6 Reviews
Rating
Shelved in 1 Library
Added on October 31, 2017
Last Updated on November 2, 2017
Tags: hopeless romantic, love, essence

Author

Metaphantom
Metaphantom

Olympia, WA



About
Just a freelance writer, I came from a background of hip-hop and poetry in its finest. Reading poetry from some of the greats John Keats. Many others, Charles Bukowski - so many, and the greatest mus.. more..

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