Deep Sea Driving

Things really take a turn for the worst (immediately commits self immolation for saying that).

Driving at night is like dreaming.

I’m watching lights pass,

And waves of grass shining green.

 

The road is fast and dark,

And I slice through it sharp,

Like a silver black shark.

 

What’s out there bobbing?

Something throbbing in pain,

Sounding out in vain.

 

A flash, a thrash, then red and black.

Makes a murky splash,

Where the deep blues set.

There's a whipping away,

A swish and a sway,
Pulling me up high

 

And I wonder, 

under seas of something,

Leaving the car, the shark’s corpse, behind,

Am I a monster, or was this meant to be?

And either way, where are they taking me?

Author's Note

What do you think?

Reviews

[James Hanna-Magill]

Dear Epipsychologist, I am pleased to be added as your friend. I know much about the world of psychology and philosopy, and indeed psychiatry and self immolation too. You might read my piece 'Green' and ponder. I could talk endlessly to you about this poem which I admire. One of those things is its own deliberate mystery. The whole last stanza, Why a sharks's corpse? Why a monster, meant to be? And above all Who are they who are taking you where? I immediately see a whole Woody Allen connection here with all his neuroses including about driving. Take 'Annie Hall' and his words "“Sometimes when I’m driving on the road at night, I see two headlights coming toward me fast. I have the sudden impulse to turn the wheel quickly, head-on into the oncoming car. I can anticipate the explosion. The sound of shattering glass. The flames rising out of the flowing gasoline.” Or another lift from the film "A relationship, I think, is like a shark. You know? It has to constantly move forward or it dies. And I think what we got on our hands is a dead shark."If you are into Woody Allen and his neuroses, or as I gather from your profile psychology and philosophy, then I can see it written large here. Whether you see the rsemblance to Woody Allen or not, I as a reader do. That always tells me something about the relationship between reader and the writer. Whilst the writer is seeking to communicate with many, in the end he / she is actually talking to one person only at a time. They may see its generalities, but in the end they will relate it to their own specifics. I find it fascinating that you get most of the colours of the rainbow into this piece including silver which isn't. For another piece try all of the 5 senses as well as sight. I like mystery and I like personal and I understand pain. That is what I sense here. It is a genuine, intimate piece and I enjoyed reading it. Now I would really like to know as you ask, what exactly is bobbing out there for you and for us all? I like to give careful reviews. I hope you find this stimulating. Keep writing as they say and keep asking questions of yourself and your reader. Keep on taunting us with questions only you in the end can really answer. You have talent in my personal opinion for what little it is worth. With my regards, James

[Epipsychologist]

Thanks James,
Annie Hall is an all time favorite of mine, and to compare me to Woody Allen is beyond a compliment to me. I was going for something Modernist here. Also, you point out the idea that drove this piece. I imagined a car accident being lie a shark attack that kills the shark, so the delirious driver being extracted prods those questions you point out. Also, if he, in a state of delirium, killed someone, is he being dragged out by police, who want to punish him, or medics who want to save him? I wanted the emotionless somnambulance to reflect the dead eyed shark, too. Thanks for your wonderful review. I plan on reading "Green," too, so I'll let you know my thoughts.

[Gerald Parker]

I like the nightmarish feel of this piece, the sense of speed in the short lines, the slowing down with longer lines at the end. The occasional rhymes, not overdone, enhance the mesmerising effect.

[Epipsychologist]

Thanks Gerald. I was listening to music when I wrote this, and I wanted it to be kind of like music, expressing something not subject to cut and dry form.

[Tate Morgan]

this tome is about fear of one becoming what we dont want to be

[Epipsychologist]

I would say that's probably my biggest fear, and I think it is here. I actually never drive even a little intoxicated. And I do my best to never drive when I'm extremely exhausted. But I've always been terrified of the thought of seriously hurting someone behind the wheel, which is what this is about. And the instant change that becomes you in a situation like that. You are automatically a monster.

[Tate Morgan]

yeah i understand that perfectly

[Gheeneil]

Very creative storytelling from the first line up until the last. I liked the mention of images such as shark and monster--a vivid description of how disoriented the persona was after the crash. The slight rhyme was awesome, too!

[Epipsychologist]

Thanks Gheeneil. I've been in a few crashes and they're always disorienting, and they fill you with interesting emotions that change your way of seeing things. I wouldn't recommend crashing though!

[Gheeneil]

You're quite a survivor, Sir! And I found humor in such recommendation. I don't think it'd be fun being tugged between life and death, though, I say death always finds ways. I read your feedback on my poem. Thanks for taking the time.

[CS]

I used to have a job as a photographer and I would have to drive home on the freeway at three in the morning. I remember being so tired that I thought black dogs were running across the road. For some reason, that is what I am reminded of. The rain on the road and the sea dogs swimming in front of me. Does that make sense? Probably not! It is never a good idea to drive when sleepy. That is the point I am trying to make. Those freaking sharks.

Sounds like a hit and run. I enjoyed it very much!

[Epipsychologist]

Thanks for the review, Courtney. It was about a crash. I don't know, somehow car accidents feel like shark attacks to me.

[Deuces]

Very dramatic with a dark overtone. I like. This piece takes the reader on a journey. Nice write.

[Epipsychologist]

Thanks Cyntax. I like driving in the dark sometimes. I was trying to go for that feel.

[Deuces]

I can relate!

[.]

Great work,dear friend :)

[Epipsychologist]

Thanks for the review Cord.

[Marie]

I don't know what to think.

[Epipsychologist]

I was trying to be an imagiste.

[James Hanna-Magill]

I have always thought thinking to be essential even if all one has to offer is that one does not.

[Baby Ricochet]

I like it. It's kind of foreboding, particularly the ending. Cool write.

[Epipsychologist]

Thanks Baby,
I'm a street shark.