Unromantic comedy

All the toys in a box

Dropped in a shallow pool

Man up...go and get them

But you’re too clever

A teaspoon of water is just as deadly

 

Real men don’t cry

Dangerous women can’t bear the sound

Your life time of sobs bottled up

I don’t care

I deal in power

 

Home hunting place for two

We found a house

But that’s not enough room

For me to not be with you

 

The truth is easier to remember

If you use words to lie

Toes curling. Fingers scratching

Eyes rolling, closing. Shut

 

The grass is wet

The summer is warm

Children dance in puddles

Unaware of you and me

And what we are, no more

Reviews

[emmajoy]

'The grass is wet ~ The summer is warm ~ Children dance in puddles ~ Unaware of you and me ~ And what we are, no more'

What a sadness of words, here, Mia .. seems the end of a once was .. close, move on, end of story. You always veil hurt in a magical way, this as much or more than any.

[Mia]

Thank you Emma!!
Magical hurt, weird concept, hehe. It is the end, but I will focus on the fact that the end means the beginning of something else...just need to figure out what that something is.

[That_Girl]

This reminds me of how often I hear "Well, we don't want to divorce because of our kids" I don't think many people realize how much happier their kids would be not living in a conflicted house. Parents seem to underestimate their children's ability to see what's beneath the surface. They can see the lies and/or unhappiness, even if the parents have merely grown apart (no deceit or real drama). Now I'm rambling... damn.

Anyways, great piece, Mia! Not that you'd ever come up with anything less but still, I truly enjoyed every word. :)

[Mia]

I too ramble so I can appreciate fellow ramblers :P
The divorce and children situation pops up again. And since it was first brought up I see it. The toys in the box are all his feelings...I call them toys because I didn't consider them and keep them in mind like I should have, left them be...forgotten and uncared for...like most toys. I tossed them aside and let them somewhere he probably won't go. The next girl would suffer for it. The children dancing in puddles reference is just pointing out that people don't know what goes on...and our happiness or unhappiness doesn’t affect theirs. I'm still moving only now I'm finding my own place.
I'm glad you saw something different in it, it makes me happy that it is not exclusive to me and my situation.
Thank you...you're a sweet soul and your lovely review makes me happy.

[That_Girl]

Haha sometimes I'm completely oblivious and see what isn't even there. Sigh. You're very welcome, love. :)

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

We all need our space but when you give too much emotional space you forget to feed the fire and soon the passion turns cold. An amazing write.

[Mia]

Dale :) thank you!!

[KAOlmsted]

Damn girl. This is seriously incredible. Every word, a winner.

[Mia]

Thank you Kimmer...you make me smile always :D

[KAOlmsted]

Mutual :-D And, always my pleasure.

[Tarry Franck]

Such powerful words - wonderful job - thanks for sharing :)

[Mia]

Thanks Tarry!

[Southern Cross]

A powerhouse of words.
"We found a house
But that’s not enough room
For me to not be with you"..says it all in just a few words..excellent and I am sure many many relationships come to an end such as this. Lovers become roommates and not perfect ones at that.

[Mia]

Hello :) I'm sorry I've been a stranger...
You can say that again...its a pooh feeling but thank goodness for my extra pair of big girl pants!!

[Southern Cross]

Strength comes when we need it the most..It's called survival in this harsh world

[Mia]

Sigh

[Mia]

I'm so rude *blush*...THANK you xox

[Ahmad Cox]

Very powerful message and meaning in this poem

[Mia]

Thanks Ahmad

[jacob erin-cilberto]

this is interesting.

i see a couple who have finally seen their kids grow up and leave home...and now they are left with just each other...and seem to no longer have a connection.

now they are looking for a smaller house, but it will still be too big, because any space is not as big as the space between them...

i really think this write pushes us to get a picture...and that is what i saw...with my eyes open and also with my eyes "shut"!

[Mia]

An equally interesting review. A young couple who have been together for their entire youth and they were planning to move into together. She realises really late that she doesn’t want to. They were something special but that’s gone and they've been holding onto being comfortable ...they love each other they just aren't in love anymore.
Thank you Jacob, it is a wonderful thing...having you read my poems!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

sorry, i was pretty off on this one..but it feels like the scenario could fit where i went with it too...the joy of poetry.

and i so enjoy reading you, Mia.

[Mia]

No need to be sorry...the joy of poetry! It could fit and I am always glad to hear what people see.