Poor Man's Supper

Butterfly on has-been street.
           Street on butterfly waves.
Strike out, strike in, strike!
                 Animal run and run in shoelace.

Paper!
         Paper!
                  Paper!
Would a wood want to
          walk weaving and weary?
Or should a sun sit
                    in summertime
                          sipping soiled ice?

Five rings to his hands.
Number six on vacation.
Sleep tight.
               Worry not.
We are afraid of
                       constipation.

Lick a stamp, thinking maybe
           Mother must be
                         marketing today.
Maybe a mixed match flame
                      will cinder her walking?

Take a trip on toffee,
             toasting to the town.
A name is a name that would be
                         if it was not.

Angels come and sing.
       No one listens anyway.
Paper!
         Paper!
                 Paper!
Speaking of all this
      as excitement mounts.
        
 Look at them, they're off
                          and running!

Reviews

[TawnyBlueStar]

wow
love the flow of this poem :D
really like it :D

[Craig Froman]

This is a stunning write... driving deep into thoughts and feelings.. leaving a vivid line on the horizon... and distinct taste in the mouth... Brilliant!

[Groovy]

Compelling and enjoyable read. Well done!

[Manpreet]

I liked the use of expressions with a perfect flow.

[~ Stefanie ~]

This was deifinitely a very unique piece. It drew me in from the first line, I didn't follow at first, so I read it again and still had to think. But maybe that is exactly what this poem is supposed to do. This was really good and I enjoyed taking the time to read it. :) Great job!

[Tai]

A very interesting poem, very captivating. The imagery was really nicely implemented, and the lines were skilfully put together. It can make some people wander off in their thoughts, no doubts, haha. Brilliant poem, keep up the wonderful work!

[Leslie Philibert]

An interesting poem that uses a lot ambiguity to provoke thought. I like poems that
honestly reflect impressions, even if they are obscure.Well done.

[Mary Chalmer]

Good work.
Keep on writing.

[EMF]

An interesting attempt at what seems to be a collaboration, but I may be wrong. Perhaps simply two voices. Perhaps not Despite the exclamation marks it had a pace to it. But I think disposal of the exclamations would benefit. Outside of conversation they do tend to reflect a weakness. A common assumption. May I suggest in exeprimenting with the font? Place the words you want to emphasise in italics and remove the italics from the rest. The fact of the visual lean emphasises the pace more than the exclamation.

[PoppySilver]

Fascinating! This shows real imagination :) The title leads the reader to different avenues than some of the poem but it grounds itself also...great piece, really like this :) Adventurous and clever xoxo