Self Sabotage

An angel on my right                       A devil on my left

Filling my heart                               Tearing my hope to shreds

with lovely flutters                          Spinning sad deceits

Assuring me of your love                 That you're just toying with my emotions-            

Making me giddy                             Using me- just like him

Red cheeked and giggly                    Causing my crushed heart to beat

Healing my broken heart                   In a mournful song once more

With thousands of butterflies           Because maybe you don't really care

Being set free                                What's a game to you, is real to me

Author's Note

Tell me if you like the structure or if it was odd. God bledd, He has the glory

Reviews

[kublakhan27]

It took a minute for my eyes to adapt to the structure, but once they did, I realized how brilliant this is...I voted for this one in the contest...love it :)

[Lost in Wonderland]

Thank you! :)
God bless

[kublakhan27]

You're welcome, and same to you :)

[Lost in Wonderland]

:)

[Kyle Sky]

Great theme... and great idea of placing the two sections of the poem beside each other. It fits with the actual idea of the writing. I like it.

[Brianaswriting]

I LOVE this. One of the best poems I've heard in awhile.

[♥ Kinnixk]

I like the structure, you could read it column by column or plain left to right. Very nice, I love it :) I have that same kind of battle with me with love, the devil usually wins.

[Lost in Wonderland]

thanks:) and I'm sorry about that, they're still battling within me...I hope the angel wins

[♥ Kinnixk]

Thanks Mickey (:

[Lost in Wonderland]

any time(:

[Victoria PoetryBunny]

Wow... okay love the title, and love the structure the way you divided the two sides. Very nice write.

[Lost in Wonderland]

thanks Victoria:)
God bless

[Tai Ryens]

Not sure if you intended for it to be read left to right, then down one line, then once more horizontally. However, I find that it is quite fine that way. If you were to phrase it like any other poem, I doubt anyone would find a distance. Apart, they are both wondrous and bursting with emotion; but together, they play in a beautiful symphony. I like this one.

[Lost in Wonderland]

Thank you tai:) and I left the reader to decide how they wanted to read it(I wasn't sure myself)
read moreThank you tai:) and I left the reader to decide how they wanted to read it(I wasn't sure myself)
God bless

[Jason Dyer]

I enjoy the structure. You can read side by side or straight down. I'd be very interested to see what the devil and angel might say to each other instead of their subject....

[.]

awesome structure.

[Jetta Zippora]

Vivid and powerful write, friend.

[Lost in Wonderland]

Thank you Jetta:)

[Prateek]

its original and nice..and apt way of writin when you not sure which direction you should choose to write...
one suggestion in this form of writing..try to match the emotion line by line..
eg: Filling my heart and Tearing my hope..
these both verbs..convey opposite emotions..

if this trend is in whole poem..it will be even better.. :)
well written..

[Lost in Wonderland]

thank you:)
God Bless