Confusion

My Current State of Mind

CONFUSION

Even though the sun is shining I feel the Rain/

Even though I´m numb I feel the Pain

Even though nothing´s wrong everything feels not Right/

Even though there is no darkness I see no Light

 

Void and Chaos fill my Mind/

I see everything and I´m still Blind

My mind and my Heart keep getting Bruised/

I know nothing but I know I´m Confused

 

 

Reviews

[emmajoy]

SoME fine meter here, good content too. You should have more reviews.. hope they come flying in very soon. Confusion you don't need!!

Meter/metre: words rhyming, Rain and Pain, for example; syllable count each line, near same. Each line needs ave the same rhythm . BUT if you want there are other means of writing.. forinstance..prose verse.. etc.

[Light]

Wow, glad to hear that! I just started here so I hope as time goes by I´ll get more feedback.
read moreWow, glad to hear that! I just started here so I hope as time goes by I´ll get more feedback.
Nice to hear that you liked it. Looking forward to see you under my future ones...!

[Chris Shaw]

I enjoyed the contrast between void and chaos. Feeling both at the same time though is a recipe for confusion. Nicely expressed.

Chris

[Light]

Glad you liked it, thanks!

[CuddlyCat]

I absolutely love this! Wonderful writing, so pulling. Keep doing what you love, and putting love into what your doing.

[Light]

Thanks!! I´ll defintly try to keepup!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

void and chaos are two of my best friends, Light...wow, you know them too?

[Light]

yeah... I meet them on a daily bases

[Einstein Noodle]

as the old one's say...the darkest hour is just before dawn ;) the brutal human honesty of your theme is wonderful ... something one can take to the bank ;} easy breezy meter and rhyme ... some things just take time to unravel themselves ... the trick is not to become fearful and anxiety ridden in such blind confused states says i .... confusion blindness and honesty are a perfect nest for Faith and Trust to dwell in ;))
E.

[Light]

thanks... I really try... your comment cheered me up a little!

[Einstein Noodle]

oh ..so glad it did Light .. sending up my little prayers for you now ;)

[C. Lee Battaglia]

Void and Chaos fill my Mind/
I see everything and I´m still Blind
My mind and my Heart keep getting Bruised/
I know nothing but I know I´m Confused"

This was such a profound poem that really touched me.
I struggle with anxiety and depression and it sucks. It's something I'll have to deal with my whole life. But where my source of joy comes from is writing. It helps me understand who I am and what I go through. These words are very real feelings that are very common in todays world. You are an extremely talented writer/author and I just want to let you know that, whenever you are going through something difficult or it just seems to much, just write! It will help you and others around you.
Your writing is incredible and keep up the incredible work!
If you want to, could you read my story, "the blonde girl," you don't have to if you don't want to, I just felt like I should share it with you.

Your friend,

C. Lee Battaglia

[Light]

Woah there... thanks for the incredibile feedback! Your definitly right: writing does help alot! And maybe one day we´ll be over it...
I definitly will keep it up and will take a look at you story!

~ Light

[C. Lee Battaglia]

You are most welcome. :) And yeah hopefully one day. Thank you so much!

[barleygirl]

Good job on rhyme & rhythm, plus I always like a message full of contrasts, becuz to me, life is full of contrasts. Some people act organized & linear, but they really aren't. They're just hiding the confusion. I like the honesty of your message, true for many of us who feel like we're bouncing against the walls. Even tho I like everything about your poem & I'm not suggesting you change it at all . . . I also feel there could be a little bit of exaggeration here & there, to emphasize that almost-crazy feeling. For example -- "no darkness" and "no light" could be described with more intensity rather than using these simple terms. Such creative word choices make our writing stand out (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[Light]

Thanks for that posisitivity!!!
I wasn´t sure if exagggerations would destroy the atmosphere... but I try to use some in my next one!

greeting, Light

[Neville]

Hey Light, I hope this was crafted from imagination or is at least some historical reflection.. Confusion is not the best state to find oneself in... Although of course, there can be many reasons for it...Why not make a list of what bothers you, then prioritise and rank those things....If nothing else, you might find some writing inspiration from the exercise...I did enjoy this one of yours by the way, so keep ya chin up, okay..............N

[Light]

Hey!
First of all It´s nice to hear that you liked it!!!
Unfortunatly "Confusion" reflects my current state of mind/my current situation... I´m working on it and try to fix it but it´s a long way. Writing definitly helps me to structure my thoughts and express my feelings... therefore i am even more happy that you liked it

[Neville]

Well, it was indeed a pleasure & thank you for enlightening me 'please excuse what might appear to be a pun, it was not intentional'...Keep writing & everything will turn out fine......Neville

[Light]

8/10 for that pun!!!
And yeah someday everything will be fine... hopefully!

[sette]

great expression through the use of words, there is rhythm.

[Pete]

a tough, difficult state of mind. great description. makes me feel uncomfortable as i read. nice job, now where do i go from here? ...

[Light]

Thank you!
(No one knows where to go...)

[Dara]

The contrast in emotions building up to the end is very cleverly put together and so easy to relate to. I believe everyone has days like that now and then. I just love how you weaved it all into this wonderful poem!

[Light]

Thanks! Makes me really happy that you liked it!

[Dara]

Oops, should have said, "wove it all"
Looking forward to reading more of your work.

[Light]

! Thanks, some new stuff will come in the next few days, Hope you´ll like them!