When You Kill Yourself

When You Kill Yourself

 

While you are hanging on that rope or blood is dripping from your wrist, lifeless, your little brother came to your room. He screamed when she saw your lifeless body. The person he idolize is now gone. Memories flashed in his head, the happy and the funny memories. He remembered the days when you are so happy together. He remembered your silly cat fights. And now that you are gone, who will he idolize? What will happen to the memories you built together?

He was crying so loud and your mother heard it. She rushed into your room. When she saw your soulless body, she cried and cried. She placed her hands on her mouth. She kept on making herself believe that that was just one of her nightmares. She held your cold body and hugged you. She was trying to wake you up just to make herself believe that you are just sleeping. She kept on shouting your name while howling. Her precious treasure was gone. Her daughter's gone. She remembered your first word, the day you first walk and everything. She asked herself, “What did I do wrong? Is it because of me? What's wrong?”

Your father heard the noise and he was nervous about it. He went to your room and tears streamed down his face. He caressed your mother's back. He screamed your name and lifted you up. He remembered the days when he carried you so you can experience how to fly. He remembered the day when he held you for the first time. Now, his princess is gone, what will happen to the castle? What will happen to the royalty inside it?

He rushed you to the hospital, trying to make you alive. And since it was an hour ago when you suicide, you are dead on arrival. Your dad was wrestled because of the hospital bill, the funeral, the cemetery and everything. He borrowed money from his relatives and friends. And then, little did he know, he's full of debts because of you.

When your best friend was notified about your death, she crashed on that cold floor. Crying helplessly, with no one to hug and no shoulder to cry on. She was depending on you and now that you are gone, she has nothing. She remembered you while you two are stalking her crush and when you cried because of your first heartbreak. The friendship you built together was gone because the person who built it was gone too. She thought that she was the worst best friend ever. She wasn't there when you are in agony. She wasn't there for you because she didn't know that you are suicidal.

Then, your friends started crying, asking themselves what's wrong with you? They were guilty for doing those silly pranks they did to you when you are in elementary. They asked themselves, am I worth to be called a friend? I wasn't there to help her. What have I done?

And then, your boyfriend didn't cry. He didn't give any reaction at all. However, inside him is a toxic killing his heart. He did everything to make you happy. Then, he pulled out his supposed-to-be-surprise to you. The engagement ring. Upon looking at it, he cried helplessly. He remembered you, telling him that boys shouldn't cry. But, he can't help it and he burst out into tears. He remembered the sweet kisses and the hugs. He remembered the way you dance so you can make him happy. He remembered your face, your perfect face. He remembered the day you fell in love with him. He remembered everything about you.

In your funeral, your family was devastated. The memories were flashing on their minds. They were talking to you in their mind, but there's no answer from you. They wanted to tell you how much they love you. Everything's too late for them. Your best friend can't talk, she wanted to die too. The long years of being your best friend is no joke. It was so hard for her to accept that the closest person in her heart ceased to be visible.

And your boyfriend? He was looking at the ring. He's fantasizing about his supposed marriage proposal. The place was settled, the setting's perfect, but now that you are gone, what will happen to it? He slowly walked to your place, he asked the crew to open your coffin. When they did, he placed the ring on your finger. He was asking you to marry him, but then, you didn't answer. He cried a lot and he kissed you for the last time. He whispered I love you so much, goodbye.

And then, their lives became miserable. Their lives became complicated. This is because you killed yourself.

You killed everyone around you.

And why did you take your life away? This is because you think no one cares for you. This is because you think that you are all alone. You think that killing yourself is the only way to cope up with it.

Now, tell me, no one really cares for you? Then, why are they suffering because of losing you? Are you all alone? Then, what do you think of them?

Now that you are dead, everyone around you is dead too.

 

Reviews

[Jacob Clifford]

Very potent message. The suicide of a loved one is absolutely devastating. Something you did very well at showing is that the person who suffers the least from suicide is the one who commits it.