Big Bird

Big Bird

A Story by M.E.Lyle

Oh no; another silly little romance.


Big Bird

Oh no; another silly little romance.

It was seventeen degrees and and I was freezing my tail end off. What in the world drove me to decide to run this silly race? Sure, it gets cold in Texas; sometimes, but we were going through a spell of fifteen days where the temperature never got above twenty five. For Texans, this was the beginning of the apocalypse. The world was quickly spiraling towards its final days.

The aquatic plants that lined the edge of the lake looked like ice sculptures created for some art exhibit.

 I was here because of the annual Snowman Shuffle 10K. It's flat and fast. I always liked to run it as a measure of my conditioning.

 I was preparing for my one, and only,  yearly marathon.

 I know, it's crazy...right?

So here I was,  standing,  jumping,  pacing,  and shivering,  waiting for the starter's gun to get this thing going.

I was dressed in my black Nike form fitting tights, top to bottom.  I wore a red running singlet over the top, and black, loose fitting running shorts down below.

My head was covered with a Thinsulate stocking cap that completely covered my freezing ears. On my feet I wore my favorite Nike racing flats.  I was seriously out for a personal best.

I shuffled from side to side trying to keep the blood in my veins from freezing. I was beginning to believe I should have taken up my best friends offer to drink some of that pink antifreeze solution. My friend really isn't too smart sometimes.

Minutes before the start I looked up and saw the oddest sight.  There was a girl dressed in a solid canary yellow outfit, including a canary yellow singlet and shorts.  

She stood bouncing around near the starting line. Her head was covered with a canary yellow stocking cap. 

I couldn't help but stare when she suddenly looked up and caught me. I quickly diverted my gaze in another direction hopping she hadn't noticed my possibly inappropriate behavior.

The vision of her froze in my mind like the ice covered plants on the lakes shore. I turned back and fixed my gaze on her again. Because of her attire, I wasn't able to make out her facial features, but that didn't seem to matter. Anybody dressed like that had to be a wacko weirdo.

She looked up  and caught me staring again. This time I didn't turn away. She glared at me and then began walking briskly toward me.

My initial thought was, she had spotted a friend and was headed to meet them. I was wrong.

She stood directly in front of me looking up. She didn't have to look up much because we were about the same height.

Looking into her face I realized she had a striking resemblance to Emma Stone. It must have been a illusion though. 

My girlfriend had dragged me off to see that silly musical LaLa Land. People dancing, singing, and playing pianos on tops of cars in the middle of an LA freeway.

Whoever dreamed this stuff up needed to be admitted to an asylum. Okay, I confess, I actually liked it. Was I becoming a romantic? Oh please, shoot me now if it's true.

I guess Emma Stone was having a ill carryover effect. If that were true, however, wouldn't all the girls look like her?

"I saw you looking at me." she blurted out.

Wow, this girl had grit; I liked it.

"Um...yeah. Aren't you Emma..."

Before I could finish she replied bluntly,

"No, I'm not."

"What!" I exclaimed.

"You don't even know the question yet."

"I'm not Emma Stone, if that's what you're referring to."

"Emma Stone?" I laughed.

"No," I said, " I was going to ask if you were Big Bird; you know, with all the yellow and stuff. Big Bird as in on Sesame Street.

Where did they come up with that name anyway...Sesame Street?"

"No," she replied defiantly, "You said Emma. There are no take backs, it's already out there."

I looked downward shamefully and admitted she was right.

I looked back up and spotted my girlfriend and pointed toward her.

"It's her fault. She dragged me to that silly LaLa movie yesterday."

"Is that your girlfriend?" she asked.

"Yep," I answered.

"Well," laughed Big Bird, "Your girlfriend just gave her phone number to my boyfriend."

I shook my head and frowned,

"She does that all the time."

"So," replied Big Bird, "Why do you stay with her?"

I shrugged my shoulders and told her I didn't know.

"She has me take her to all those mushy romantic movies. It makes no sense, she cries through all of them. I keep hoping some sicko maniac will come crashing across the screen and start blasting holes in people. It never happens though. They always end the same, with a sloppy kiss or something."

 She smiled, "One can only hope."

There was a loud explosion and runners began shoving and pushing their way to the starting gate; the race was on.

Big Bird and I stood in the middle of a moving mass of humanity silently staring into each other's eyes.

"See ya later Big Bird," I smiled.

"Yeah,maybe later," she chirped.

 At the end of the race I wandered over to the finish line to look for Big Bird, but I never spotted her. People are hard to find when you get two or three thousand together in one place.

 I broke up with my girlfriend later on that day. It didn't seem to bother her much, in fact she seemed to let out a sigh of relief. 

Oh well, she wasn't my type anyway.

  Big Bird was gone. 

 It's been ten years now and I still wonder about her . What's she doing right now, this minute? 

I wonder if she's planning on being at this years race. 

 I keep coming back hoping I'll find her again. Maybe this will be the year, one can only hope.

© 2017 M.E.Lyle

Author's Note

And this is what happens when you go see LaLa Land. It's not my fault.

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Added on January 9, 2017
Last Updated on February 16, 2017



Wills Point, TX

I'm still alive after 69 years, one double bypass surgery, two children, seven grandchildren, two wives, the second is a winner, rollerblading, biking,marathoning, and various other silly things. L.. more..

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