The Ice Woman by the Sea

The Ice Woman by the Sea

A Story by Mila
"

One song could tame a mighty sea. One gift was the demise of those that, once, could never be tamed.

"

The Ice Woman by the Sea

 

The sound of the waves was a song, the violin the tune. Icy winds licked the skin of the woman standing by the rocks. The clouds above were gray and dull, but the sea still, in its own majesty reflected a very ethereal blue. The edges of the shore were coated with a thick sheen of ice. The horizon was a dark mass with a white border.

 

Days passed in this way. The ice woman with the violin stood on the rocks and played her music while the waves sung a melody of nature and hope. They roared yet melodiously lulled a child to sleep. They were mighty yet peaceful. A strength coupled with grace. The tune of the ice woman’s violin soothed the hearts of any monster.

 

Deep in the fathoms of the sea, the beasts stirred. The young fish swam near the surface and anticipated the ice prison that would keep them so long as the song played.

 

Oh, how they longed to stop it, but the beauty of the music hypnotized them. It was a temptation of a false promise that it would soothe rather than harm. They knew the truth of it…that the beautiful music would soon create a prison and they wouldn’t survive. They only wished it to not be so.

 

The ice woman lowered the violin and stopped the music. At once, the storms ceased and the waves calmed. The clouds parted and the sun broke free. Almost instantly, the rays shone down on her, and she pursed her lips in adversity.

 

“There is no music in such heat.” She said scathingly, shaking her long, black locks out of her face, “Rather there be a prison of ice with beautiful music than the freedom of the sun in silence.”

 

She played again, and the sun was covered once again by the thick wall of clouds. The waves grew larger and larger, their symphony that much more powerful. The ice woman played on and on, letting the harmony cause the icy winds to blow around her and form the ice prison that she so desperately loved to control. The creatures beneath it were in too much of a stupor to see the danger they were in.

 

Their prison grew. One creature began to see the wall of ice growing inwards from the shores. Almost immediately, he broke free of the sea’s surface and bared his jaws at the ice woman.

 

“I pray you not wall us under!” He pleaded, though his jaws were mighty, “I wish not to be a prisoner to such music.”

 

“You will be no prisoner.” The ice woman assured him, “The music will soothe you and you will be at peace.”

 

“There is no peace in a cage.” He roared to her in a broken voice that carried little weight and force, “only solitude and desperation for freedom. Cease the lovely tunes, ice woman fair, and part the clouds once more.”

 

“I give you beauty and you deny me the freedom to play my music?” That angered her, “There is a reason you beasts need to be caged.”

 

“You take my freedom or I take yours, what difference does it make?” The beast lowered its head beneath the waters once more, “If you could only see what you do to us. If only there was a way to show you.”

 

Before she could reply, the beast had gone under. She took no heed to his wishes, only played on. The wall of ice continued to grow.

 

“Chains!” Another creature broke the surface, this one larger than the first; “You only need to shackle us to the fathoms of our home.  The sea is mighty, fair lady, who are you to control it with your lovely music?”

 

“This music will soothe you, beast.” She merely replied, “Take the peaceful solitude as my gift.”

 

The beast bared its jaws but did not strike. He did not plead. He lowered into the water and said nothing more, just like the first. No one dared to defy the ice woman, however much they protested.

 

They did not know if they wanted the music to stop.

 

So this was the story of the ice woman by the sea. The mighty terrain could be tamed even at its wildest, or so the story was told. The music built a prison but the beauty of it kept rebellion at bay. There was a sweet promise of a greater tomorrow, but the doors of the dungeon that would coat the entire sea would be sealed shut and the sun would remain forever behind the clouds.

 

Was it a false promise?

 

The beasts of the sea couldn’t say…but the ice woman would continue to play her music and the waves would continue to roar, even if the body of water was covered in ice, and not a breath of life stirred to break the surface.

 

For what was a prison but a mask of lies? What was a promise but a false hope that it would be kept? Truth was spun on the webs of false desire and toxic hope. Mighty beasts were sent to the fathoms at the sound of sweet music.

 

The sound of the waves was a song, the violin a tune. The sun was gone now, but the horizon still stood dark with the white border.

 

The sea was quiet, but still roared.

© 2014 Mila


Author's Note

Mila
Ok, I should be studying for my Stats II exam, but I had to get this story down!! I thought it up in a few short seconds but took some time to refine it before typing it down. I don't know what it is with me, but I've written at least four short stories this week...it's a problem!
I'm a legit basket case...
Annnnywaaaayysssss please do review and let me know if my musing and writing a story when I should have been studying was fruitful! There will be a news post updated in my WC blog as soon as I get (legitimate) time!

Story to be featured in the Larcenist Magazine December issue! :)

Reviews=motivation!

-Mila

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Featured Review

The sound of the waves was a song, the violin the tune. (The sound of waves chopping and crashing was a song, the violin, the tune????.) If you were to repeat the last section at the beginning in my opinion would be a better fit. "The sound of the waves was a song, the violin a tune."
A nice story!

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Mila

8 Years Ago

Thank you!!



Reviews

Great imagery and a powerful write. It built energy and strength from the beginning. I like you metaphors and the cold and ice. I look forward to reading more of your work. Thank you for sharing.

Posted 8 Years Ago


Woah, this story made me think of the cover image from that issue, which I now assume is based on your story. (I wrote Weeds in that issue)

Posted 8 Years Ago


The sound of the waves was a song, the violin the tune. (The sound of waves chopping and crashing was a song, the violin, the tune????.) If you were to repeat the last section at the beginning in my opinion would be a better fit. "The sound of the waves was a song, the violin a tune."
A nice story!

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Mila

8 Years Ago

Thank you!!
I rather enjoyed this piece. It holds like a Scandanavian fairy tale or something, hehe. I dunno, just has that feel.
Regardless, it's wonderful written and I appreciate you sharing it with us.

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Mila

8 Years Ago

Thank you!
I enjoyed this. Of course, if it were longer the story expanded I would have enjoyed it more. I actually liked the dialog. I would edit the word choices and flow of the story after you did something with the story itself.

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Mila

9 Years Ago

Thank you!
Very poetic and a feeling of mythical. Dark and cold, which is something I like. I saw this in the 'Write Fest' contest, which I also entered.

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Mila

9 Years Ago

Thank you very much! I'm glad you enjoyed it :)
Ok, first off, the colors and shapes this brings to mind are very inspiring. Amazing job creating the scene. However there are a few things about this piece that didn't sit right. First was this section,

' The ice woman lowered the violin and stopped the music. At once, the storms ceased and the waves calmed. The clouds parted and the sun broke free. Almost instantly, the rays shone down on her, and she pursed her lips in adversity.

“There is no music in such heat.” She said scathingly, shaking her long, black locks out of her face, “Rather there be a prison of ice with beautiful music than the freedom of the sun in silence.” '

^ this, for some reason I don't think breaking the scene to show she had the power was necessary? I couldn't tell you a better way, but I'm sure there is one. Also, was the comment about her hair color seemed shoehorned and unnecessary.

The next part that bothered me was the ending. It felt like you were rambling after the fact

' So this was the story of the ice woman by the sea. The mighty terrain could be tamed even at its wildest, or so the story was told. The music built a prison but the beauty of it kept rebellion at bay. There was a sweet promise of a greater tomorrow, but the doors of the dungeon that would coat the entire sea would be sealed shut and the sun would remain forever behind the clouds. '

Drop the "So" and that should have been the end. The rest felt awkward and didn't hold my attention very well because the story had already ended for me.

Finally, (more of a creative suggestion) is there a way you could rewrite this without dialog? I feel like the dialog in this story took away from the main focus, which is the scene you created.

I really do love this idea, and your style of writing! I hope I wasn't being to mean, and keep writing!

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Mila

9 Years Ago

Thank you for your opinions and review! :) appreciated!
I loved this so much. It is honestly my favorite piece I have ever read from you. The descriptions paint such an amazing picture. Not only that, but the story gives the reader so much feeling with so little dialogue... I truly enjoyed the read. Thank you for sharing!

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Mila

9 Years Ago

Thank you! :):)
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MAC
Has that "The Little Prince" feel to it. Masterfully written, complete with outstanding creativity and excellent word choice. Into my favs.

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Mila

9 Years Ago

Thank you!! :)
Wow. I say this in complete seriousness that, that was one of the coolest and quite possibly the most unique thing I have ever had the pleasure of reading. With such little dialogue and only about half a page, you constructed a story of rule and slavery, freedom and bondage, opposing views and a complex situation that has a vast array of interpretation. I was, and am, blown away by this and I want to read it again when I have more time to devote to it.

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Mila

9 Years Ago

Thank you so much for your kind words! I am so glad that you enjoyed it. :)

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1266 Views
20 Reviews
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Shelved in 4 Libraries
Added on September 25, 2014
Last Updated on December 9, 2014
Tags: Allegory, Socity, Powers, Life, Ice woman, Sea, Abuse of power

Author

Mila
Mila

St. Louis , MO



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ALL WINNERS FROM MY CONTESTS WILL HAVE THIER WORKS FEATURED ON MY WATTPAD ANTHOLOGY WITH FULL CREDIT GIVEN TO THEM! PLEASE LET ME KNOW WELL BEFORE HAND IF YOU DO NOT WANT ME TO FEATURE YOUR WORK! A.. more..

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