Is the sun will shine again?!

We have to draw a smile of the sun again. We have to go back as we were in the past.

In a day in the sun shines again. Sunlight was a bit dim and not as usual. I saw her tears falling on this earth. Then I realized that her heart missing something so much. Then I asked her, "What is happened to you? Are you okay?” The sun saw the mountain and she hid behind it. She is gone away, but she did not tell me what happened to her.

The next day, I see her. She is still sad. She is hiding behind a cloud in the sky. I told her “please, I want to see your light again in this land”. She is cried a lot, and saying” This is not my land, and these people I do not know them. Everything has changed here. Their hearts became very black. All of them live on this land became dead human, animal and plant. The people here kill themselves and others kill each other. These plants, the leaves fell, but this time not in the spring. And animals, can’t live without eat another animal or some plants. This life changed a lot and they became awful a lot. When will they come back?”

“Stop a little sun; you’re going to kill her? Where are the rays of hope that you are fired every day? You can build this land again. These people, they need to Justice. They need to white hearts. They need to clean heart loves them deeply. Get up sun, you give them hope, love, compassion, and make them feel that their lives remain wonderful. They need to live in peace. Please do not move away from them, you can change everything just give them hope and patience. When they see the yellow rays, they feel that there is a new day and they optimism that there is a new day”. I said to the sun.

Soon, everything will be beautiful. All they need now, the time to make everything better. First, they want to build their country and then making their own future for them, their children and for future generations. Hand to hand, heart to heart, spirit to spirit, we will change everything is bad in this life. Goodness prevails, evil die. Hey, raise your hand in the air, and scream loud “We never know the meaning of surrender, no matter what it cost us the loss of our lives.

Reviews

[J. K. Beach]

OK, may I call you Miss Moonlight (or Ms. Moonlight)?

Any way, this is a very moving portrait of how we must all build toward a future rewarding for all people--with justice, love, compassion, and "white hearts" (I just love that). Your story is almost a poem, and could easily be made into one if you chose.

It never ceases to amaze me how people of other cultures writing and thinking in a language like English, which is maybe their second or third language, can write so powerfully. You have done very well.

Are there things that could make your expression more clear--certainly, but the seed you have planted is strong and vital!

I can try to help you with grammar and syntax on this story or any one of your poems or stories you might want to choose. There is not enough time in so short a review, but given a little time I will try... I think everyone deserves to be heard and it is an intelligent goal for you to try to improve your English writing. I will help if I can. Just let me know which piece you feel is important enough to to be heard clearly.

JKB

[Mo0onlight_UAE]

Still Ms hahaha, anyway thank you so much for your comment and I would like to help me in grammer if you can.

[J. K. Beach]

I'll message you with a few ideas... maybe tomorrow, OK?

[Mo0onlight_UAE]

Ok .. Thank you again :)

[Great Aunt Astri]

What a heroic piece of writing! I love the way you talk to the sun, may she bless you all! Your English is still very broken, but I feel that is part of the charm of your writing. The only way to improve is to keep writing, and reading of course!

[Mo0onlight_UAE]

Thank you for your encouragement. And I hope to know what are the mistakes and please correct it. Thank you :)