Secrets

Feeling creative

The secrets we keep
Are all exposed
In the faces of
Those we know

Like a Polaroid picture
Coming to light quickly and often;
Shaken awake instantly
A memory is softened

Our secret doings
Behind closed doors
Covering up truth and
Creating confusion

Digitally remaster the images
With perfect white smiles hiding
orange shades of darkness and the
Secrets exposed

Out in the open air
behind the glass houses there are
Arms raised up and defended
open to everyone's impression

All our secrets
Up in smoke; swirling clay-like Angels
Re-mem-ber-ing the vital sting
Of life beating you down with drums...

Freed spirits in the sky
Rainbows arching across
To the temples in between
Every open, out looking,
All-seeing, Eye.




Copyright 2015 Todd R. Joslyn

Reviews

[Double T]

This is some great writing right here. I love the idea of writing about secrets. Some secrets are meant to shared and some secrets are meant to be hidden. Writing well done.

Writing: 9/10
Theme: 10/10
Overall: 10/10

[Coyote Poetry]

A interesting poem.
"Freed spirits in the sky
Rainbows arching across
To the temples in between
Every open, out looking,
All-seeing, Eye. "
I don't know. Sometime secrets are needed. I did like the above lines. Left the reader with something to ponder. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[dan]

Secrets are mostly always heavy weights to carry, but this write feels airy, whisked along by fleeting wind and clouds whisking by like blowing leaves. The secrets carried by all can be referred to in this write, but not all secrets are ever allowed to be expressed, some are buried with their creators, under well-deserved darkness. A great subject about which to write, and very well written. Happy Thanksgiving to you and family, Todd! take care...dan

[wordman]

a emotional write,our secrets is on our shoulders,and we feel everybody knows them..

[Outdated Account]

It's a good poem. I'm not in love with it, but I seldom feel that way towards poetry.

One major criticism(though not that major) is your punctuation. You use two semicolons, three commas, an ellipses, and only one period. Usually when I write a poem I make a point of either using punctuation all the way, or not at all. That way it gets the run on feel from absolutely no punctuation, or it gets the structure you would read it as. The way this is written is kind of like a short segment, a huge run on, and then another shorter segment. As it is, I can really only read the second, sixth, and seventh stanzas properly. Even then the second is rough.

Apart from that, you're fine.

[ANTO]

I think Todd, this climaxed wayy too soon - the opening stanza was killer. So much can go one behind closed doors but we cannot hide from those who know us best - see how someone behaves with their family and that is the REAL them.
This has a lot of intrigue despite being an expose of the concept of secrets.

[modtoddinc]

I appreciate it Anto. I am developing the idea myself... I wrote this poem "quickly" to get the initial idea of secrets/pictures on paper. I agree with you whole heartedly. Stay tuned. ;)