Control

I couldn't stop thinking about you
Eventually I couldn't stop talking about you
You consumed me
My every thought
My every word
It was all you
My mind hates you
But my heart won't shut up about you
I want to leave you
But I want you to love me the way I loved you
I hate the effort I put into you
You give me nothing in return
I wonder why I stay when a huge part of me wants to leave
I think it's because I want you to care as much as I did
I don't want to stay second hand to your addiction
I want to be your world just as you are mine
I want to help
But you love your addiction more then people and me
Someone asked me what I really liked about you
I told them you made me laugh
That was it
Should there be more?
I wanted to be...Happy, Alone, Independent
Then you came along and changed the game
You controlled me without even knowing it
Good thing I don't run out of lives
Because you kept killing me over and over and over
Maybe you knew maybe you didn't
But it was all so fucked up
It was even worse that I forgot I was in control
I let you do all that to me
You made me forget who I really was
Im that week
You make me that week

Reviews

[cammyw]

is this talking about how addiction can consume you and control you

[MAC]

can relate and this is perfect as is. an excellent write!

[She murdered herself wi..]

Thanks for your honesty but that's the point, Its meant to leave you wondering what it is so if you relate you can fill in that emotion with which you relate to

[Relic]

So its an addiction to pop tarts huh? I KNEW IT. The b*****d! :)

[She murdered herself with words]

Your awesome! XD

[Relic]

....................... :)

[She murdered herself with words]

Friends question mark.

[Relic]

.................Hold on.

[Relic]

Although I understand your feelings in this heartfelt poem, there are a couple of flaws in it that I see. Maybe you'll agree and maybe you won't. I'm good either way.

Firstly, this is not really a poem, it's a letter to someone I don't know. There are no metaphors, similes, symbols....

Secondly, you mention his "addiction." When I hear that, my first thought is...okay, she's going to lead up to and fill me in on what his addiction is. Unfortunately, you didn't do that, so I'm left hanging. Is it a drug addiction, addiction to sports...to cutting....?

Your last two sentences are misspelled. A week is 7 days. I think you meant weak.

This is not bad but being its more personal, as a reader who chose this poem you posted, I have no connection.

[M P Ramesh]

SMHWW,

Its the word , that is the greatest metaphysical problem of the day. Tame it and be a controller of her/him is a task only a genuine writer can venture in to.

"You can not be consumed at all by anybody"...thats is the curse the writer bears, but he/she consumes everything and produce the truth hitherto hidden in other minds even without the owner's knowledge as above

excellant attempt indeed ....
carry on..........

mp