last night

I’ve erased your name a thousand times.

I cannot smell your skin 

or hear the blood flow through your veins,

there is a vociferous stillness.

I can feel the chill graze my skin

like traveling fingertips,

the heat gathers at my wrists.

it’s never like it’s supposed to be

there are no signs or symptoms 

but I can feel you,

do you feel me too?

I’ve erased your name a thousand times,

for I dare not  write it down.