Resilience, Perseverance, Recognition, and Love

My journey to becoming a better person and player in my chosen profession. As well as how the person I love has inspired me to keep on pushing through the grain!

Today is the day, the day that you and I will stand up and tackle the world. Today is the day, the day that you will walk out that door and make a difference in the world. A powerful difference, a historical moment in life that will be remembered by those that you influence. What is it that we strive? As humans we strive to be successful, we strive to be remembered, we strive to be the best of the best at what we do. But how much of it is actually worth going for? I have always lived my life knowing that the only way for me to feel success, the only way for me to be remembered, the only way for me to be the best at what I wanted to do, I had to make a difference in someone else's life. Life is full of disappointments, lies, and deceptions, one of these will most likely throw you down if not once then many times in your life. But as these things happen, there are things that we must remember. Strength does not come from being successful right of the bat, strength comes from being successful after all of the hardships and tests. Success does not come from talent or even hard work, it comes from resilience and perseverance. In order to be successful in life, you have to make a difference in another. But in order for you to live, you have to have someone who is always there to support you.

You can not live without support, therefor the trade off will be you will make a difference in another's life. To inspire. To motivate. In the year 2014 I had found something that I really wanted to do, I found out what my passion was, my calling. I wanted to be a streamer and Esports champion. I wanted to chase my dream and never let go. Being told that I couldn’t and that I would never. Practicing until my wrists hurt and my back ached from sitting for hours. My friends and teammates improving and leaving me in the dust while I sat and practiced and practiced and practiced. I never felt I was improving, and one year later I entered my first league, the CEVO amatuer season 6 Counter Strike tournament. I took on the role as in game leader, with the future of my teammates in my hands we entered the qualifiers. During the pre-season we had lost both of our games, and I was devastated. Not because of my failure or my defeat, but because I had let my team down. That because of my mistakes and poor decision making skills, we lost those games and our motivation was down. When we began in the season we played in the normal bracket and after losing the first match without a single round victory, we lost the losers bracket just as quickly. I had let my team down and we fell apart, I had just about given up. I stopped playing for months and I moved forwards, never believing that I was ever going to make it somewhere in this profession, that no matter how hard I tried I was always going to be the team leader that gave up and let his team down.

In the year 2016 I was streaming finally, and I was trying to bring myself up out of the hole I dug for myself. Practicing, not as much but I was getting back into the flow. In the peak of my comeback, I met someone. Someone who believed in me, someone who told me that “Why not? If you don’t go for it, you will never know.” Someone who had constantly made me feel as if I was going to eventually become a great person, because of this person I was opened to a new opportunity and I decided I was going to try and try again. I was inspired by this person to make the difference in my own life, and now I realized that I was truly living. I started living my life because I had found someone who supported me and my dreams, the first person in my life who took my dream and my passion seriously. I was surprised and felt almost as if it was a lie, maybe someone was trying to just say the right thing to push me to go. But it did not feel that way, this felt honest and true, this felt powerful and motivational. And because of how I felt about these words I was inspired to move forward. I joined my next league and began practice, I started rebuilding my team and we worked our bodies and minds to the limit. I had this gift from this significant person, and whenever I played I had this gift wrapped right around my wrist. I glanced at it when things got tough and I felt the warmth in my heart and we as a team we're motivated because I was motivating and pursuing the dream. I had received so much from this person and I have not yet repaid my debt. Someday I hope to be just as helpful and as motivational as they were for me.

I have learned how to live my life and I have been inspired to push myself and to not give up, because there is someone on this planet who truly believes that I can do it. I found my support and in return I will support them, not because of what they have done for me. But because I truly believe that they too, are destined for greatness as equally as I am. I want to motivate and push this person to meet their aspirations and goals. This person is someone that I have fallen in love with. Yes, she is my motivation, my spirit, and my love. And even though to many it may seem ridiculous or stupid that I want to be a “professional gamer” she never laughed. She never judged. She never told me that it was never going to happen. No! She told me that I would never know until I try! And now that I have taken the chance again and picked up my arsenal of tools and started conquering my dreams. It is time for her to step up to the plate, and I will be there for her. Every single step of the way. I will never let her give up even when it is too hard, when it seems like nothing is ever going to work out, I will show her that it will eventually work. That I will prove her wrong when she believes she will never be successful. No, you won’t be successful. Not until you try. Be Resilient, persevere, and in the end you will be recognized. Not by others no, but by yourself. And until that day, I will be watching.

Author's Note

This is a story about my life coming into Esports and meeting my significant other. This is personal for me so I would appreciate you keeping this in mind as you read. I am open to any and all feedback however.