Mission one

This chapter demonstrates the process in which the moon creatures take to get transported to Earth.

I contemplate what my first mission is going to involve, but my mind goes blank. I guess I won’t know until I get there. There is no more training to be had now, all that is left to do is to put all that I have learnt into action. I am nervous but I can't let it show. The others don’t. As I wait for the signal I look outside and see the usual sky glittered with stars, blasting their light through the darkness.

The bell rings out indicating it is time for me to begin. For a noise that I so often ignore, this time its chime reiterates inside of me, charging all my nerves, summoning me. I didn’t realise it was so loud. As I leave my room, a line of people are heading towards the observation room so I join in, tagging along. The observation room is a place I have visited only twice. It is the place where you get assessed about whether or not you are able to participate. The assessors materialise around us, masks covering their faces, equipment poking out of their pockets. I stand stationary as they do their job, prodding at my limbs, flashing lights in my eyes, encircling me and looking at every inch of my body. They have to make sure you have enough energy to complete the task and make it back home. With this being my first time, I should pass it easily.

After being deemed fit, I follow the rest of my people to the transportation room in single file. This is a room I have never been in before, I have heard stories about what's inside from friends, but I guess you can’t paint an accurate picture until you have seen it for yourself. As I etch forward I can see the room is full of separate chambers, chambers that contain tall machines pointing at a circle that is marked on each of the floors, their tall bodies spiralling up to the ceiling, their nozzles hanging over the centre of the space where we shall one by one stand, like targets waiting to be fired at. Wires trail along the white walls, plugging in to various sockets, making sure there is always power available. You can feel the heat the moment you step through. 

 

The first twenty people enter the chambers, their faces emotionless. Clearly this is not their first time. The machines start charging up and glowing in appearance. It travels up until eventually the energy reaches the peak causing a beam of blue light to shoot out from the nozzle, hitting the person who stands on the circle, for about two seconds they illuminate and then they are gone, and the chambers are vacant once again.

 

On the second time, Alan who I recognise from my training group steps into one of the unused compartments, I watch as he eyes the machine from the corner of his eye, trying to remain composed. I am assuming this is also his first time. Once again the machine flares, and the light steels Alan away from the room.

 

This happens three more times until I am in the next twenty of the line. I can feel my palms sweating and my heart pulsing in my ears. The people in front of me make their way into the free chambers; I follow, entering the circle, feeling exposed. The machines start charging up again and I instinctively close my eyes, waiting for the blast, waiting to be zapped away from solid ground, from all I am used to. I know it isn’t going to hurt, but my muscles tense anyway. Time seems to drag and the noise seems to fill all my senses, becoming the only thing I can focus on, and then it hits me, possessing me and enveloping me in a warm sensation. I open my eyes for a split second, taking the blue tinted scene of the room with me as I plummet into darkness.

 

Nothing remains, no solid object in front of me or underneath my feet.  The numbness swamps me and I am freefalling through the blackness. I attempt to move my arms but they are stuck to my side, repelling against my wishes, I am unable to do anything, so I close my eyes to will away the feeling of nausea.

 

I think back to my time in training and realise that no amount of training could have prepared me for this. This is something you have to just swallow your fear and get on with. I think about Alan, and to whether or not he has completed his mission yet. We are taught that the opportunity will present its self to you, that you will instinctively know what to do when you get there. The training is learning how to generate and use your energy, the energy we are born with.

 

After what seems a long time I slightly open my eyelids, flecks of gold materialise shimmering against the dark canvas, and for a minute I think I am back home, surrounded by the familiar stars. They start dispersing, moving further away from each other as I get closer to them. After a while I realise they are street lamps, mapping the outskirts of a town, providing pools of light to block the dark. My body starts to loosen and the ability to move has been restored to me, which can only mean that I have arrived. My feet hit the solid ground gently. As I get my bearings I look up to the sky seeing the full moon, my home, glowing.

Reviews

[CreativeStroke]

"all that is left to do is to put all that I have learnt into action." I would make 'learnt' the word 'learned' It is more of a correct way.

"For a noise that I so often ignore, this time its chime reiterates inside of me," 'reiterates' isn't the word you wanted to use here. Perhaps the word 'resounds' would fit better. It would get the point across that you were trying to make.

You had a few spelling errors throughout, but they are all easy fixes. :) Example, 'realise' is actually spelled 'realize'.

So far the start of your story is good, you provided the reader with a lot of details, making it easy to picture what is going on with your character. I enjoyed the story so far and I think it is an interesting topic to write on. I hope you continue with this and I will be sure to read more when you get more posted.

I definitely enjoyed what you have so far and I think you have a wonderful talent on your hands. Well done so far with this first installment of your story!

[Harrisen Viator]

"You can feel the heat the moment you step through." I don't know if this is relevant to your story, because you don't seem to elaborate much more on the environment of the room. Maybe you could revise it, because although you say, "You can feel the heat" this doesn't really help the reader understand how hot the room really is. Play around with this, and see if you can come up with something, because based on what you've written, you have the ability to.

"This happens three more times until I am in the next twenty of the line."
Honestly I feel like you could have written this sentence better. If you are trying to say that the character is twentieth in line, then say that. Sometimes simplicity is better than making things complicated.