Pencil

Pencil

A Poem by Mr. Lopez

Hello lonely pencil

there on the ground

I'm so glad

you're what I found


Imagine all the things

that we can do

I have so many

plans for you


The things that I felt

the things that I saw

will turn into words

and picture's I'll draw


Oh lonely pencil

left there to rot

If you'll come to a point

I'll feed you my thought


And until your graphite

should come to end

You'll have my hand

and mind as a friend






© 2017 Mr. Lopez



My Review

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Featured Review

Thoroughly heartfelt, Mr. Lopez.

Each line, stanza, rhyme and message was touching.

What wonders a simple pencil can have (and bring) upon oneself who is willing to explore its possibilities.

Highly enjoyed this sentimental piece.

Here's to the pencil.

Critique wise: I would edit the second stanza; third and fourth lines, to adjust to the rhythm of the poem and keep it coherent. The way it is composed here feels abrupt: the choppiness going from one line to the next is not fluid like all of the other lines..

Ex: Adjustment
"I have so many plans
for me and for you"

Adheres itself to the fluidity of the rest of the lines of the piece.

Reasoning being: each line of your poem ends as a complete phrase (in other words: is "end stopped"). Those two lines are not, eradicating the smoothness of the piece, at those points.

Much love,

LR

Posted 1 Month Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

Some people, like pencils, are easily lead.
This is so simple.
Bop!
Well done

Posted 1 Month Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Thoroughly heartfelt, Mr. Lopez.

Each line, stanza, rhyme and message was touching.

What wonders a simple pencil can have (and bring) upon oneself who is willing to explore its possibilities.

Highly enjoyed this sentimental piece.

Here's to the pencil.

Critique wise: I would edit the second stanza; third and fourth lines, to adjust to the rhythm of the poem and keep it coherent. The way it is composed here feels abrupt: the choppiness going from one line to the next is not fluid like all of the other lines..

Ex: Adjustment
"I have so many plans
for me and for you"

Adheres itself to the fluidity of the rest of the lines of the piece.

Reasoning being: each line of your poem ends as a complete phrase (in other words: is "end stopped"). Those two lines are not, eradicating the smoothness of the piece, at those points.

Much love,

LR

Posted 1 Month Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Excellent. I love how such a simple thing as finding a pencil turned into an adventure, as well as a wonderful read. Sometimes it is the simplest of things that we don't always see or give much thought to that can inspire us and take a path in our mind we never knew existed. Love it.

Posted 1 Month Ago


Mr. Lopez

1 Month Ago

Hey thanks Nemo. You're exactly right. I wrote this with the very pencil I found.
Wonderful! The sanctuary of happiness can be found in the perils of others. That is if we take the right path to make a connection, and in turn, connect the happiness to one another.

Great write. Thanks for sharing.

Posted 1 Month Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Mr. Lopez

1 Month Ago

One man's loss is another's gain. Thanks for reading and reviewing.
This is very good! Sometimes all a poet needs is to find a pencil.

Posted 1 Month Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Mr. Lopez

1 Month Ago

Thank you for recognizing and enjoying the beauty of simplicity alongside me.

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Added on February 16, 2017
Last Updated on February 16, 2017

Author

Mr. Lopez
Mr. Lopez

Phoenix, AZ



About
I was on the site once before a while back but I hit one of those bumps in the road that knocks you harder then the average pot hole. So I'm back and have very fond memories of this writing community... more..

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