Pencil

Pencil

A Poem by Mr. Lopez

Hello lonely pencil

there on the ground

I'm so glad

you're what I found


Imagine all the things

that we can do

I have so many

plans for you


The things that I felt

the things that I saw

will turn into words

and picture's I'll draw


Oh lonely pencil

left there to rot

If you'll come to a point

I'll feed you my thought


And until your graphite

should come to end

You'll have my hand

and mind as a friend






© 2017 Mr. Lopez



My Review

Would you like to review this Poem?
Login | Register




Featured Review

[send message][befriend] Subscribe
FIN
Thoroughly heartfelt, Mr. Lopez.

Each line, stanza, rhyme and message was touching.

What wonders a simple pencil can have (and bring) upon oneself who is willing to explore its possibilities.

Highly enjoyed this sentimental piece.

Here's to the pencil.

Critique wise: I would edit the second stanza; third and fourth lines, to adjust to the rhythm of the poem and keep it coherent. The way it is composed here feels abrupt: the choppiness going from one line to the next is not fluid like all of the other lines..

Ex: Adjustment
"I have so many plans
for me and for you"

Adheres itself to the fluidity of the rest of the lines of the piece.

Reasoning being: each line of your poem ends as a complete phrase (in other words: is "end stopped"). Those two lines are not, eradicating the smoothness of the piece, at those points.

Much love,

LR

Posted 8 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

We as writers must be thankful for our methods of getting the thoughts out of our heads. I really enjoyed this.

~Luna

Posted 3 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Mr. Lopez

3 Months Ago

Hey, thanks for stopping by and recognizing my observation of beauty in the simplicity's of life.
I found this genuinely enjoy able read. I love how you took something so simple and created something so thought provoking.

Posted 4 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I liked this poem. Some days hard to combine pencil and paper as one.
"And until your graphite
should come to end
You'll have my hand
and mind as a friend"
I did like the above lines. Thank you dear friend for sharing the amazing poetry.
Coyote

Posted 6 Months Ago


Oh my goodness I love this. A very sweet ode. I think we forget the magic of holding on to a pencil and watching our thoughts come to life.
You're rhyming is fabulous, you use strong meter and fun word choices.
Thanks for sharing!

Posted 6 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Mr. Lopez

6 Months Ago

Hey, thanks for your review. I'm glad you enjoyed my silly little poem. I haven't been very active o.. read more
Some people, like pencils, are easily lead.
This is so simple.
Bop!
Well done

Posted 8 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

[send message][befriend] Subscribe
FIN
Thoroughly heartfelt, Mr. Lopez.

Each line, stanza, rhyme and message was touching.

What wonders a simple pencil can have (and bring) upon oneself who is willing to explore its possibilities.

Highly enjoyed this sentimental piece.

Here's to the pencil.

Critique wise: I would edit the second stanza; third and fourth lines, to adjust to the rhythm of the poem and keep it coherent. The way it is composed here feels abrupt: the choppiness going from one line to the next is not fluid like all of the other lines..

Ex: Adjustment
"I have so many plans
for me and for you"

Adheres itself to the fluidity of the rest of the lines of the piece.

Reasoning being: each line of your poem ends as a complete phrase (in other words: is "end stopped"). Those two lines are not, eradicating the smoothness of the piece, at those points.

Much love,

LR

Posted 8 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Excellent. I love how such a simple thing as finding a pencil turned into an adventure, as well as a wonderful read. Sometimes it is the simplest of things that we don't always see or give much thought to that can inspire us and take a path in our mind we never knew existed. Love it.

Posted 8 Months Ago


Mr. Lopez

8 Months Ago

Hey thanks Nemo. You're exactly right. I wrote this with the very pencil I found.
Wonderful! The sanctuary of happiness can be found in the perils of others. That is if we take the right path to make a connection, and in turn, connect the happiness to one another.

Great write. Thanks for sharing.

Posted 8 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Mr. Lopez

8 Months Ago

One man's loss is another's gain. Thanks for reading and reviewing.
This is very good! Sometimes all a poet needs is to find a pencil.

Posted 8 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Mr. Lopez

8 Months Ago

Thank you for recognizing and enjoying the beauty of simplicity alongside me.

Request Read Request
Add to Library My Library
Subscribe Subscribe


Stats

457 Views
9 Reviews
Rating
Shelved in 2 Libraries
Added on February 16, 2017
Last Updated on February 16, 2017

Author

Mr. Lopez
Mr. Lopez

Phoenix, AZ



About
I was on the site once before a while back but I hit one of those bumps in the road that knocks you harder then the average pot hole. So I'm back and have very fond memories of this writing community... more..

Writing
Butterfly Butterfly

A Poem by Mr. Lopez



Related Writing

People who liked this story also liked..