Devil Eyes

Devil Eyes

A Poem by Music's Color
"

A song whose singer condemns all who hears it to a gruesome, twisted, and cruel fate.

"

Why do the flowers, forever fading
Bring so many memories with such pain?
Why does the clear spring stream, so pure and lovely,
Sink so many souls to the depths of Hell?


Devil eyes in the forest, forever watching,
Lure you out and - cut, slash, snare.
He clutches you in his palms, so scorning;
It seems that you’ve always deserved to be there.
 
So look at the flowers, forever fading,
Notice the petals - they’re dripping with blood.
So gaze at the clear spring stream, so pure and lovely,
See for yourself the fiery plane.
 
Devil eyes in the forest, forever watching,
Devil eyes, devil eyes,
Cut.
Slash.
Snare.

© 2009 Music's Color



Author's Note

Music's Color
A song that I made up after I read a book called The Devil's Footsteps. Read it; it's very entertaining, in my opinion. It was a challenge to write a song that was creepiest. I'm happy with it, but I'd like to hear how it made you feel.

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I really love the repetition of the "cut, slash, snare" it brought the poem to another level.

some minor spelling mistakes (cause i'm a geek XD):
If I read it right, depths would make more sense than debts does, in that context.
Pedals are on bikes, petals are on flowers
and, depending on what you're trying to get across, plane might be better as plain.

ok, i'm sorry for the nitpicking; i truly did enjoy the poem. I think you really got the "creepy" factor across!
Write On!

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




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JS
mixed metaphors aside, I enjoyed it and I like the "cut, slash, snare" line. You definately have a grasp on some imagery in this piece. I agree w/ Destinee, "pedals" threw me for a second.

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I really love the repetition of the "cut, slash, snare" it brought the poem to another level.

some minor spelling mistakes (cause i'm a geek XD):
If I read it right, depths would make more sense than debts does, in that context.
Pedals are on bikes, petals are on flowers
and, depending on what you're trying to get across, plane might be better as plain.

ok, i'm sorry for the nitpicking; i truly did enjoy the poem. I think you really got the "creepy" factor across!
Write On!

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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2 Reviews
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Added on December 19, 2009
Last Updated on December 26, 2009
Tags: devil eyes

Author

Music's Color
Music's Color

San Diego, CA



About
Born: San Diego, sweets. Age: You're funny, you know that? Height: Tall for a Mexican girl, I guess. Things I Am About: Writing (durhur), music, art, anime, reading, sweets, Disney movies...yeah. .. more..

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