Wishes

The interesting thing about this dark poem is that initially this was supposed to be the opening scene for a novel I was tinkering with. But then I decided that it worked better as a poem. :D

I lie in Satan's cold bed each black night.

So close I can hear his heart pumping icy blood.

I am raw naked exposed underneath my skin, underneath his covers.

I lie awake and afraid. Of everything he is that I am not.

Beside me, he breathes quiet, lost in his horrid dreams.



I have become a secret.

Hidden here, underneath his covers.

I wish I could be spoken.

I wish I could be told to someone.


Beside me, he stirs, turning his eyes up to me.

He smiles to me like only the wicked do.

Flashing white as bright as the moon.

His eyes read blue like comfortable suffering.

He reaches his hands to my neck and pulls me down to him.

Inside me, he puts his lips.

His kisses taste like stinging liquid agony.

His fingers play my body painfully.

I feel like a symphony called misery.



I am a secret.

Underneath dangerous security.

I wish I could be spoken.

I wish I could be told to someone.



Silently I cry.

The tears roll and drop soundlessly to the pillow, escaping.

Some miss their way and drop to my dry tongue.

Salt is the taste of despair.



He traps me underneath his body. Touches his skin to mine so it hurts.

He is my incubus and I am dreaming a nightmare.

I cry out louder as he hushes me.

He breathes in my tears and sighs to me, "Salt and cinnamon. Just like your mother."



I shake and scream and sob.

But he is stronger than I am.

I beat my fists at a brick wall.

I kick and fit inside my personal prison.

I collapse. Defenseless underneath him.



I wish I could be strong.

I wish I could be spoken.

I wish I could be free.

Author's Note

I've been told that my punctuation in poetry could be better. So if you have any suggestions as far as that goes I would greatly appreciate it. And what were your feelings as you read this?

Reviews

[Daydreamer54]

I eel sad of the narroator of this poem,but they might be stronger than they think they are! I like how you wrote this in a story like way! Great write and I didn't see anything wrong with it,but I'm not sure if poems are supposed to end with any punctuationat all, but I do it sometimes...

[Kacy]

I really enjoyed your poem.
Your language in the first few verses in particular was most unique and compelling and set a very strong scene.
On punctuation - personally I would use less full stops, and perhaps try writing a few versions with different verse breakdowns and such to tease out different styles of the same poem, a good example of this is Emily Dickinson's work (look at the first printed version of her poem "Hope" vs the actual way she wrote it). That said its all personal choice, and like I said I really enjoyed your poem as is :)

[hannah]

This is my understanding of your work: A young girl trapped within the confines of putting up a facade of a perfect family that the secrets which are all too obvious are overlooked in the face of pretense. She has been molested by a relative, in this case, her father. He is described as Satan, accurately so. And through this poem, she relates her pain and misery. Some people may say that she can be stronger than she thinks she is but sometimes, things are simply situational. You don't know the full impact of a moment unless you're actually experiencing it.

An emotional but truthful write that speaks about abuse and the strength it takes to speak up. To rescue yourself from your current situation. Simply beautiful.