Alone

The anger emerging

 

My depths are full

 

Betrayed are my truths

 

Tainted by my morals

 

Happiness is dead

 

Alone

 

 

 

-Mysty Rayn

 

Reviews

[xlynne]

hi. okay so i'm going to be honest with you, i hate it when people lie to me about my work so i hope you feel the same way and won't hate me for speaking my mind. i know what it feels like to be completely lonely, and i'm not saying you don't, but your poem didn't really make me understand the pain of loneliness. maybe its just me and the snetences are too short for me to grasp and relate to, but i just wasn't like "boom! wow i get how it feels" my suggestion is to make it a little longer and try to connect the reader through more images to the pain. that's just my thoughts though. sorry if i was being too mean.

[Christopher 'Windstorm'..]

i really like the tone and the simplicity of your words beautiful yet tradgic but with the hint of hopefulness

[JadedSparrow]

Short, but no less powerful. Sometimes you dont need a poem that is 40 lines to convey the depth of the emotions you are feeling. What words you did write were more than sufficiant in making me feel your pain. All in all I thought this was a beautiful poem, thank you for sharing.

[Michelle Allende]

sometimes it doesn't take too many sentences to realize the depth of a poem or write... just the poem being short as it is.. and to the point.. it says "alone".. i totally get it.. left with little explanation at all that is "alone".. left with very few feelings... emptiness.. that is alone.. i love the write .. only a creative person could recognize the art in this.. keep it up

[Imperfection]

I came back to say that the picture fits perfectly.
I guess it would help the poem if you add the picture WITH the poem as well.

[Imperfection]

Short and powerful.

Betrayed are my truths

Tainted by my morals

These lines hide a lot and yet convey the fact that something is terribly wrong...that has resulted in the character's loneliness.
Also I like how you end it with a single word.

Thank you so much for entering it into my contest. I liked your poem very much.

[Deborah Leah Krempa]

Strong words written here. Thank you for sharing. Debileah