I Feel Paralyzed

I was just really cold.

The shock of pain that runs through my body,

Is one of Winter's cruel tricks.

She blows her unloving icy wind,

Freezing my small bare hands,

Until I'm no longer aware they are mine.

  

My thoughts drift to him,

As I sit in the middle of Winter's wrath.

Nothing but a slab of concrete for an ally.

I have not seen those familiar blue eyes in many days,

Yet I'm being watched by her cold hateful stare.

 

 I hide the hands that no longer feel a part of me,

Inside the too short sleeves of my cowering jacket.

My mind races through all the reasons for his absence,

But I'm only left to sit in frozen terror of the truth.

As Winter senses my fear she magnifies her rage.

  

My legs slowly begin to betray me and fade away,

Like my hands had done so many moments ago.

Time has slowed to embrace her anger.

I can hear its taunting ticks and tocks,

 

The sluggish noise of it lingering in my ears.

 The body that had once belonged to me so few moments ago,

Stops its rebellious shivers finally giving into Winter's powerful will.

She laughs bitterly as my thoughts of him slow with the cold.

I realize that he will not come to save me as my mind finally gives into her.

 

 

I…feel…paralyzed…

Author's Note

Soooo I didn't save a lot of my poems which sucks a lot. Especially 1-800-MISSING because i really liked that one. Damn it.

Reviews

[Michael Kerr]

great poem.

-mike kerr-

[Brianna Brie]

Great use of a metaphor. The winter cold numbs just as love manages to do. Thanks for entering your poem into the Missing Her, Missing Him contest.

[Danielle Asher]

I am not sure what i think. I like the parallels between missing him and becoming more and more cold until you can't more. But I guess I am just confused because i don't know where you are. I am not sure if you are somewhere the two of you used to be together because it sounded like you just fell into thought. However why are you freezing your a*s off? However, my dear, you are a fantastic writer. If you wrote about me blowing my nose I think you would make it sound exqusite.

peace,
D

[James Mayfield]

Wonderful imagery. May none of us suffer such a cruel fate. I'd much prefer the cold to the heat though. You can always put something on but you can only take off so much. Another great write here. Thank you for sharing.

[T.B. Odin]

I think the font change is an excellent reflection of the paralyzing sensation that is slowly gripping you. It compliments the theme and adds to the coldness of the poem. This is part of creative writing, to add a part of the writer in what ever direction to turn it into art. Caine has demonstrated here a perfect example of art, and with such things as true art comes self-doubt developed from the trek into ourselves and in a world of unbridled criticism. I say well done and very creative. Perhaps genius on the verge of recognition....

[Joseph - Michael]

No, the fonts are perfect that way, it tell how you're expressing the words, so no worries. It's pretty ruthless, yet good writing...

[huntnteen]

same thing i said on MySpace, very sad poem, yet a very good poem i love the way you feel the emotion in it.

[Nana Carmine]

Wow. I really like it- though it's bitterly sad. And of course the underlined letters explain it all. I love the poem though- it is well written and you really make me feel your pain.
Great work

~Nana Carmine

[Beth]

I do hate the cold. I think you've portrayed the feeling very well :)

[Legion]

"Until I'm not longer aware they are mine" - "not" should be "no"

I loathe winter. You've captured the essence of its cruelty well. As for the question to Eric, only you two know. Well done piece.