Just Breathing

Just Breathing

A Story by LostSoul00
"

I didn't really proof read or fixed anything. This is just my honest feelings that I needed to vent out.

"
Just Breathing.

I woke up today, took 3 steps to the bathroom and got ready for work.
I went to work, smiled, laugh and talked to people.
I got home and I gave myself some personal time.
This is my life on a good day, I was able to get up and do something. 

I woke up today, stayed in bed and let the countless thoughts run my head.
I'm still in bed, tossing and turning. 
I quit my job, and stayed in my room all day.
This is my life on a bad day, I never wanted to wake up.

Nothing triggered me into having a good or bad day. Something I really don't have control over.
I can make the best out of it, but sometimes I can just not care for anything.

I know I'm depressed, but I don't know how far I can go. I know things in my past have traumatized me, but I chose not to deal with it. I know I have bi-polar disorder but no one takes it seriously, so I haven't either. 

I know I'm fucked mentally and emotionally, but I know that others are going through much worse. We live in a world full of anger, controlled by money and separated by the color of our skin or the way we choose to live our lives.

I try constantly to beat into my mind, while I'm at home searching for something to fill this void in my heart, there are some searching for a roof to stay under, or food to put into their stomachs. I feel awful that I'm not appreciating what I have, I do feel like I'm taking it for granted. However, it doesn't stop me from feeling empty. I try and try but I still feel so empty. 

I don't know what to do or how to go about fixing things. For once in my life, I'm asking for help but I don't know if there is anyone out there that can help. Am I wrong for feeling this way? Am I being selfish? I just feel really hopeless and confused. I'm just breathing. 

© 2017 LostSoul00


My Review

Would you like to review this Story?
Login | Register




Share This
Email
Facebook
Twitter
Request Read Request
Add to Library My Library
Subscribe Subscribe


Stats

91 Views
Added on February 25, 2017
Last Updated on February 25, 2017
Tags: Depression, Bi-polar, life, help

Author

LostSoul00
LostSoul00

About
I'm an old soul trapped in a 22 yr old body. I was diagnosed with severe depression when I was 9, and bi-polar disorder when I was 12. I'm introverted to the extreme, I like hiding behind my computer .. more..

Writing
Why Mom? Why Mom?

A Poem by LostSoul00


Cherish It. Cherish It.

A Story by LostSoul00