Reflections

Reflections

A Chapter by Najam Us Saher
"

Compilation of my poetry

"


SEASHELL ON THE GROUND


Like a seashell, I remain on the ground,


Some notice and pick the best ones,


While some are left around.


I feel I am the left one which no one cares about,


I have been picked once,


But thrown back to the ground.


I feel I am the worst surrounded by the best,


Like a seashell which is lying on the beach,


I feel so alone, untouched and beyond one's reach.


I still feel lonely when I have everyone around,


I am diving deep in my agony,


I am waiting to be found.


Care for me before I am buried in the ground,


Otherwise, I would be merely lying,


Like a seashell on the ground.


WRITERS’ DELIGHT


Every time when I am trapped in my loneliness,


My emotions I write,


When there is no one to comfort me,


My words solace me and stand by my side,


A moment of joy I gain,


When I complete writing,


Words are a writer's best companion,


In time of happiness and darkness,


Words create music in a writer's mind,


Their words flow on paper,


Like the wind flows and glides a wind chime.


Words of wisdom enlighten us,


Words of praise amuse us,


Words can make us happy and also can break us.


Such powerful are words,


Make sure to use them wisely,


Words are what which makes a poem shine brightly.


Since these years I've realised,


Words made me gain confidence in myself,


They have shown me a path of light,


I follow this path to make my future bright,


I am lost immensely when I write,


Oh! What can I say?


Words are a profound delight.


GIFTED WORDS


When I was suffering,


When I had no one by my side,


When I was silently screaming,


When I just wanted to hide,


I was gifted with words,


With so many thoughts in my mind.


When I wanted to end my life,


When loneliness surrounded me,


When I saw no cure for my strife,


When I didn't want myself to live,


That's when I weaved my feelings into words,


That's when I rose up conquering the floods.


When I had no hope of meeting you,


When I was sure I am no good,


I gathered courage and consoled myself,


I was stronger than before,


Because I had words to express myself.


CHRISTMAS HAIKU


Shiny silver balls


Hung amidst golden ones on


A huge Christmas tree


 

Gifts of all sizes


Lay below the Christmas tree


Beside the fireplace


 

Children excited


Happiness spread all over


Wow! It is Christmas.

 

I WANT TO WRITE


I want to write,


Which everyone can relate themselves with.


I want to give them the feeling that they are not the only one.


I want people to read and feel that they are not alone,


I want to write words which echo in their heart.


I want to dive deeper in person's mind,


Just to look what's inside their thoughts.


And then I want to write,


Every detail about them.


The pain they've struggled,


The fame they've gained.


The mercy they have begged for,


And rose up higher despite their vain.


I want my words to play in people's mind,


I want to write such songs,


Till I realise my own worth,


I would be long gone.


In my entire life,


I seek a place where I belong.


I am fed up with people who think that I am always wrong.


I want to write my heart out,


So that my pain could be shared,


There is nothing I feel,


That doesn't require care and attention.


I want to write about other's miseries,


I want to write about their cries,


I want to dig out the truth,


And want to free people from the lie.


 

MIRROR AND ITS REFLECTION

 


My scattered self, I see, in a crystal mirror,


Reflecting the only emotions I want to show,


Noticing the face on which it appears,


Taken aback by the emotions, hidden from the glow.


When I smile it acts like me, it knows me so well,


I reflect myself, it gives me hope like a story untold,


My reflection cried along, it was there when I yelled.


Reflections are memories of a soul to behold.


They are always there for us, even when we are alone


Only if one finds to admire the values in oneself


A mirror reflects the treasures for which it shone.


That treasure is not gold or silver, it is your own self.


Broken down by unaccomplished dreams,


Hiding my own eyes filled with silent tears


Patience was measured in my heart with screams


Only because I want to, mirror hid my emotions and fears.


Now I see a smiling face, trying hard to hide what I actually feel,


Fed up with all the false hope and unknown destiny,


I am lost in my own world where everything is unreal,


Maybe that's why I reflect the true self because I want to be lost in ecstasy.


BOOK


I see many customers pass in front of me,


Some just ignore,


Some pick and look at me.


They keep me back on the bookshelf,


A place where I am destined to be.


I promise to be a good book only if you give me a chance to be,


Stop judging me and have a close look at me.


Then you'll know the words inked on me.


I am sure that you will like what is in me,


I can be a best friend only if you give me a chance to be.


I see the best-selling books and imagine myself there,


I promise to be close to your heart,


Only if you open and read me.


I am lying all alone, with other books,


I am worthy only if you just open and take a look.

 

FRAGRANCE OF WORDS


Wrinkled, delicate, but most beautiful


The petals of a flower appear,


Soft as the touch of a wool


Flowers are always dear.


Trapped inside a book


One preserves them for remembrance,


Behold the beauty; have a look


Also, pleasing is its fragrance.


Many flowers, for different occasion


Symbolise death and also passion,


They bring joy to our hearts without any reason


Ever blooming they are, filled with compassion.


Detached from the stem, petals lay above,


Does one need a rose to express their love?


SILENCED SCULPTURES


Inanimate structures of stone,


Forever stranded left alone.


Standing for centuries so long,


Everyone ignores and gets along.


 


Two sculptures stood together,


Stayed united in severe weather.


A boy stood admiring the girl,


Her blush, Oh! So easy to be seen;


Even when her skin is coloured pearl.


 


Lifeless they were, they started speaking,


To live a life, they started believing.


Passionately in love they always stayed,


Only for each other they were made.


 


Becoming lively, their hearts beat,


Being so close, they never met.


Their hearts spoke words of love,


They felt high, so above.


 


A day of winter came,


When her place didn't remain the same.


She was separated from her lovers' gaze,


He felt lost as being lost in a maze.


 


Thunder were his shouts,


Their love was true, no doubt.


Rain drenched him over,


He regretted not being with her closer.


 


Tears were easy to be seen despite the rain,


His heart was unable to be healed from the tormenting pain.


She was the one who made him feel alive,


No one resembled her, none alike.


 


A weeping angel he became,


His love for her he couldn't acclaim.


Better are statues with a loving heart,


Than the humans with a heart so hard.


 

THE CLOCK OF LIFE


 

There are clocks by our names,


They are wind-up and we are given a life to live,


They keep ticking all the time.


They tick and never stop,


Until our time ends by.


The second ticks and turns to moments,


The minutes represent the days,


The hours in the clock of life are the years,


Your clock is ticking in its own way.


Slow and steady the clock of life moves,


Lying somewhere above in a heavenly place,


It ticks and waits for our time to be overdue,


Our memories cannot be erased.


Time is ticking even now,


Listen to the heartbeat and the tick of the clock,


They are for a purpose,


Which reminds us we are alive today.


No one knows when the ticking is stopped,


The clock doesn't give an extra time,


It stops and make everyone alarmed except us,


Eventually, our life and the clock is done,


We played our part in our life,


That will be the time to let go,


Remember when it stops ticking,


It is death.

 


FISH BOWL

 


O' beauty of my bowl,


Do you like living there?


O' you tiny soul,


If you don't want to stay; break away.


 


O' little fish gliding in exuberance,


How do you live happily?


O' small life of innocence,


Teach me your way.


 


O' fragile fish, you capture my attention,


Doesn't your beauty fade away?


O' fish of my admiration,


There is nothing less about you to say.


 


O' joyful soul; mini delight,


Why are you going away?


O' pleasure of my sight,


Guide me thy way.


 

SEASONS

 


Pleasant weather makes me cheerful,


Sun's bright, spreading its rays on flora


And flowers bloomed.


Chasing butterflies with my little fingers,


That's when I knew, it was spring.


The rays of the sun were severe,


The breeze was no more pleasing,


It was intense heat outside,


Leaves faded from emerald green to pistachio.


All I wanted to stay at home.


Mother allowed me to eat ice-cream as much as I liked,


And told me there is no school.


That's when I knew, it was summer.


Sometimes the weather fooled me,


I played with shadow when the sunlight hit me


And later it was gone,


I noticed it was sunny and cloudy at the same time.


And water from sky poured down.


Blue sky was not to be seen,


Light flashed, it scared me and I cried.


Mother told me it was thunder


And one day it will stop raining.


I watched the drops on my window pane,


That's when I knew, it was a monsoon.


Curled up and brittle, the petals of the tree were,


All the chlorophyll was lost,


They fell and untidied the lawn,


I piled them up, clutched in my little hands


And threw them up,


That's when I knew it was fall.


Trees stood bare while it snowed,


I played with the snowballs;


Admiring the mist arise from my mouth.


Mother made me wear warm clothes,


Saying it was very cold outside.


Sitting in front of the fireplace


And curled up with a quilt,


I snuggled in my mother's lap,


And she let me sink into sleep.


That's when I knew, it was winter.

 

DIFFERENT SIMILARITIES


Colour of rage and passion a ruby,


Elegantly fitted in a necklace.


Colour of confidence and sadness a sapphire,


Found its place beside the ruby.


Colour of jealousy and good luck an emerald,


Is fortunate to find the best place.


Colour of royalty and mourning an amethyst,


Placed in equal grace and beauty.


Colour of peace and death a white pearl,


Contributes to enrich the royalty.


Colour of happiness and betrayal a topaz,


Shines in its own way.


Every precious stone unique and different,


Given an equal opportunity to fit in a place.


Despite they hold a positive and some negative symbolism,


Their beauty doesn't fade away.



PAPER BOAT


Setting out on a journey,


A Long way I have to go.


For I am a paper boat,


Floating in the stream of darkness.


Eager and curious for the destiny to unfold,


I am all stiff in pride,


For I am a paper boat,


I am setting out for a ride.


Cold wind pushes me hard to move forward,


And I wait for someone to notice me,


I feel like I am invisible,


Only this stream around me I see.


Drenched in my own feelings,


I float along the stream,


Trembling and falling but I move along with the wind.


The words in me are fading,


For it is a message to the one who notices me,


Gliding across the way,


I was unnoticed but existed among them.


My pride is gone,


I am no more stiff,


I am dripping wet and the rain drowns me,


Finally, I am noticed after a long journey.


But when I am picked up to read,


My words are blurred and I am not what I used to be.


I am now a mere piece of paper,


Drenched in the rain and utterly useless,


I am torn and ruined being all by myself.


I lay down there thinking,


When I was in my true form I had no one to notice,


When I am at my worst I am blamed and lying unnoticed.


 


DISTRACTION


 


Got something to read,


But I got distracted by a bird,


Searching for a place to build its shelter,


It arrived at my abode.


I couldn't help but look at its movements,


I felt the joy in its singing.


I and the bird were alone,


I looked at it,


And it looked at me,


The place was quiet and cold,


Adoring the little black bird became a pleasant memory.


Early morning passed by,


And the construction started,


The noises were loud,


It silenced the bird's chirping,


And it departed.


 


PHOTOGRAPH


 


A series of emotion a photograph carries,


A memory of many events,


Lying trapped in an album,


Untold stories remain a mystery.


Never thought pictures can break us,


Never imagined all will be left would be just images,


No matter how much I cry seeing them,


They never change nor does the time.


Passed down from generations to generations,


They just get old,


Some miss them for a day,


And forget them once it gets folded.


Never knew snapshots had so much power to make people cry,


Or maybe the image of the person it does,


Photographs hold a value,


For the treasured memories in us.


They say capture the happy times,


Forget the sad ones,


Who knows what the time will bring?


Time decides whether a photograph is a happy or a sad one.


 


COLD FLAME


 


Surrounded by emptiness and silence,


I bring you light when you are in darkness.


Afraid what lies in pitch black room?


I erase your fears.


You carry me along,


I help you seek out things.


You use me and forget,


While I burn for you.


I am no great soul,


I am a candle who lives for you.


My flame keeps me warm,


Because I am surrounded by cold people like you.


I burn to brighten your day,


I am so selfless.


You blow me when someone else brightens your life,


My flame quivers,


And then I feel cold


I am still ready to burn for you again,


Because I am remembered as the one who lights the darkness.


 


THUNDER


 


The lightning struck;


Terror spread


All over the city.


The rage of the cloud


Broken by the thunder storm.


Flashes and cracks of light depicts


A complete broken sky.


 


PLANET WE LIVE IN


 


What will it be like to travel to another world?


Will there be life, plants and seasons?


What if you are the only person living there?


How would you spend your life when there is no one to share?


What if you be a pioneer to that planet?


Will you live happily then, thinking you own the world?


It is always good to have a company don't you think?


Then why people build up walls and separate themselves from the world?


Why do people want to be famous?


And the world they want to own,


You can leave an impression in this world,


If you do good deeds enough to help the needy.


What is the use to store in lots of money that you can't even keep a count of it?


Tell me, who has become ever successful if he is greedy?


What is wrong with the world we are living in?


What is the use to suffer if you can't change a thing?


 


HUMANITY IS ABOVE ALL THE RICHES


 


Humanity is greater than all the divisions,


We all belong to same earth,


There should be no discrimination or separation.


Each of us has our own worth.


We all are humans,


Separated by divisions,


There is humanity in us,


We all have equal strength nor more or less,


Faith, beliefs and cultures,


Are different and should be respected,


Care and concern in our hearts should be nurtured,


This is life...Nothing can be expected.


Borders and states are just divisions,


Peace lies within each one of us,


There is life above all the riches,


There is peace,


Only when you are kind and concerned,


And realise humanity is above all the riches.


 


GOLDEN FORTUNE


Lustrous eyes and luminous face


Her eyes reflected greed and mouth watered for more


Rich, so rich her greed made her


Nothing was left on earth that she couldn't own.


 


Wrapped in silk with gold and crystals


Wealthy she was; wealthier was her greed.


Rubies and emeralds; all precious stones


Served on silver platter to quench her thirst.


 


Craving for more; greed to acquire


Sinful she became showing off the shiny treasures


Chest of pearls and diamonds


All the treasures she hold so dear.


 


Drowned in possession,


Possession took control over her


A woman of disgrace she became


Wealth became her only power.


 


Hollow heart inside her,


Not of crystal or gold


Desired to be loved immensely


Passionate yet cold.


 


Only if she knew,


She needed no materialistic things to be loved,


Then she would be loved by someone


Only if she knew,


To make her soul wealthy in character


Then she would know,


Love is worth more than her wealth.


 


She lacked everything that her riches couldn’t buy,


She had everything but nothing at all


Her greed brought her to a fall


Her silken threads are not worth anymore


Being proud and greedy she deplored.


 


Her body covered in luxurious jewels


Isn't pretty when her heart is dark,


It was then she realised,


Beauty within conquers all.


 


PEOPLE AND PLACES


 


There are places I've been to,


There are scenes I have seen,


Time is never still and enough,


To go back to places I've been.


Sometimes I wonder,


Where are those kids I saw on the way,


I can never see them as they are miles away.


What about those faces I saw smiling?


Are they still happy in the lives they are living?


What about those I saw suffering?


Did their life change?


Did they find out their purpose of living?


What about the people I saw sitting alone,


Did they find someone?


Or still feel forlorn?


I cannot know,


A bitter truth it remains,


To never see them and not to meet them again.


One can go back to those places they have been,


But cannot meet those people they have once seen.


When you travel and meet people, don't you wish to see them again?


When you are on your way, don't you think about the people you have seen?


Do you long to go again to the places you've been?


 


TO FRIENDS


My dear friend, you are a jewel


Who shone brightly when separated from other friends.


You are a beauty, true elegance


With whom I like to be.


I reflect the shine you possess,


Thus, you make me feel special like you are to me.


Your presence was awaited for long,


I want to stay with you forever,


I want to be your friend till the last,


Also after my soul leaves me.


I want our friendship to remain,


For it is true and pure,


No friendship for a cause it is;


It is the truest form it can ever be.


My dear friend,


A wonderful day you have given,


You are a jewel of your own kind


No gem in the entire world is you.


I feel happy to have such a gem,


To my dearest,


This is for you.


 


You are selfless like a gem,


Who thinks not about one's self but for others,


You are special in your own way,


Still, you shine for others.


 


You are kind like a flower,


Who breaks for other's happiness,


You break to make others remain together,


You don't realise that you are special too.


 


You are like a cloud,


Who protected me from a sun,


Provided me warmth,


Also trusted me with your fears.


 


You are like a feather,


So easy and sensitive,


You fly away with a blow,


Yet you are strong to fly.


 


My dearest friend,


Above all, you are a gem


Which I feel lucky to find


You are a crazy one,


Who doesn't know your own value.


You gave me hope,


You were with me every time.


You believed in me,


And gave me all your time.


 


WISE WORDS


 


Rise up, you are stronger than you were yesterday,


Live, like today is your last day,


Be a tide that rises with a fall,


Give hope to yourself and to one and all.


The past gives us experiences to learn,


It is not a time period to dwell,


The one who falls and gets up


Is stronger than the one who never fell.


Mistakes are a tragedy,


Apology remains the remedy,


Guilt never changed the situations,


You revive with every realisation.


There are stories which are not meant to be told,


But there are truths which need to get unfold.


Time is the master of all those things,


Fate does change if you believe in it.


 


UNDISTURBED


 


Curled up, brittle, faded fallen leaves


Lying peacefully unnoticed on the floor.


The sun rays hit the dusty tree


Rooted upright on a barren land.


Dried soil, thirsty earth


Waiting for the shower of rain.


The first drop meets the ground


Essence of petrichor diffused


Water splashes on the tree


Erasing the dust.


Leaves, drenched in water


Feel refreshed.


Stationary scene back in movement


With the downpour of rain.


Life back in action after a long pause


Like the change in nature


Everything at place after a chase,


Patience is what it takes.


 


SILENCE


 


Endless thoughts are running in my mind,


There is no happiness I find.


There is sadness everywhere,


There is the silence of sadness and despair.


I roamed places in search of happiness,


I saw people lacked their basic need,


I realised there are also people who are filled with greed.


Those people lived simply, their smiles ceased.


There was misery everywhere,


There was the silence of sadness and despair.


I looked at the couples,


They were happy at that moment and got separated at next,


I guessed they would be together forever,


But they say it was for the best.


There was silence among the two,


There was the silence of sadness and despair.


Mistakes and apologies,


Regrets, guilt and pain,


How much more is left to suffer?


There is silence at the peak of mountain,


It resembles my peak of suffering,


There is silence in the depths of sea,


Which is like my depths of regret.


There is silence in the midst of forests,


There is silence after regret and guilt,


There is silence after unspoken truth,


There is silence after spoken lie,


There is silence after loss of a beloved one,


There is silence in me,


There is silence everywhere,


This is the silence of sadness and despair.


 


 


EXISTENCE


 


I am not living,


There is just my presence here,


Now, I just exist.


 


DESTINY IS PLANNED FOR A REASON


 


Even in my darkest times,


I have been patient.


My life don't know what is destined,


Still remains a secret hidden treasure.


Every moment spent in pain is more, compared to all my pleasures.


My everyday is in memories of you,


I could find all the answers of my life;


If I just find a clue.


It's not like my life couldn't be worth if I hadn't met you.


Because it was my fate that one day I would be meeting you.


That's what in my life it was destined, that someday I have to meet you.


I am waiting since years for that one day to come true,


It would be my dream day when all of my wishes would come true.


Sometimes I think, I wish I could change my past;


But when you came in my life you changed the way I look in that part of my past.


Because it was all planned for the best reason,


I never knew my life had many seasons.


It was fate, all a tragedy connected to meet you,


God has written my destiny so;


Because I should be thankful for a blessing like you.


That is why I had seen days worsen,


The pain I suffered, that remorse.


Because he planned my future in a way never expected,


Which would be filled with happiness,


With the treasure of pleasures.


Also, I think it was necessary to suffer for the dark days,


Because only after that the sun shined and took me to a better place.


 


ANGEL


 


Far above lived an angel,


Who had a beautiful smile


And also made everyone smile.


Something went wrong it made the angel cry.


People said "Forget it angel, but please don't cry"


She smiled because she doesn't want anyone to be sad for her.


She was living her life in a blur.


Yet she smiled, because of people.


Thus, she came to be known as angel,


Who could light others day;


Even if she couldn't light her own.


She was an ideal angel living all alone.


 


ONLY RAIN CAN UNDERSTAND MY PAIN


 


Why does it feel like it is going to rain?


Does sky feel my pain?


The thunders will be my rage,


I have to shut my heart in a cage.


So that it doesn't feel a thing,


I am fed up being nothing.


These murky clouds depict my state of mind,


They are blurry and so they are of my kind.


When the clouds couldn't hold the rain,


I would be overwhelmed thinking rain understands my pain.


Rain pours from the sky like my tears,


My mind couldn't hold my biggest fears.


That's how I have fallen,


That's why I love rains.


I can feel the sadness crawling,


Only rain can understand my pain.


 


WHEN IT RAINS


 


Look, how gently the rain falls


Merrily falling creating crystal bubbles.


Chilly wind makes me shiver


And the voice of rain soothes me to sleep.


The essence of petrichor relieves me,


All this is a delight and bliss.


Still, it is hard to accept the fact


Of you being away,


Sky cries along with me


And there is no more happiness.


Water of the sky cannot fill the emptiness inside me,


I am alone looking at the waterfall,


I cry and rain cries along,


Rain and I are together,


Here we belong.


Volume of cloud being burdened with rain


Is nothing compared to my heavy heart


It is rain who has cried along with me since the start.


 


ANOTHER CHANCE


 


There she was adoring him,


Wanting to see him happy,


She wanted to erase all his pains.


And he was so stubborn,


He cried, but in front of her managed to keep a smile on his face.


Him and his broken heart


She wanted to fix,


Wanted to see him happy once again,


She never bothered to be his next pick.


She smiled and laughed the brightest in front of him,


He too smiled but his eyes were dim,


Holding something in his hand he walked away looking at it,


She stood there alone thinking how to repair his broken strings,


She didn't give up and stood next to him,


Her faith of making him happy quivered,


She saw him shedding tears holding a ring.


She didn't want to make him alarmed,


Without letting him know she was gone,


She suffocated and suffered for every tear he sheds,


She was unaware of the facts which lay ahead.


He was broken but didn't want to let her know,


Why doesn't he express his feelings?


What is that he couldn't let go?


She shivered in cold that night,


Unaware that he was watching her,


Now she hid her tears and smiled in front of him,


She knew the pain of a broken heart


She suffered and so couldn't bear to see anyone else suffering.


That's why she wanted to see him happy,


That was the stop for her eternal journey.


He was broken too,


But neither of them didn't know.


His hands had the cuts of the blade


A girl left him,


He was scattered and was left alone.


He wished he died than to live in that pain,


She sighed and thought once she felt the same.


Both were a perfect match


Only if they could see,


They cared about each other


Forever they wanted to be.


Both were surprised for their past story they hold,


They realised it was gone in past and now they have to be bold.


Holding each other's hand,


She was in glee,


He smiled now how once she wanted him to be.


He felt warm by her care and concern


She felt relieved she could erase a person's pain,


She smiled seeing him smile once again.


He said her concern made him drawn towards her,


She is unique,


He felt thankful for that person who let her go,


She was happy for she has managed to mend his broken strings,


She felt like the luckiest girl ever when he expressed his feelings,


Their relationship of care and concern was the first stage of love,


They felt they were on top of the world,


They felt so above.


They were happy only because they noticed a door of happiness,


Rather than to still mourn for their loss,


They had hope and gave love another chance.


 


ALONG WITH ME


 


Playing back those songs,


Just to bring back that feeling when I loved you,


It leaves me in tears,


I have to face the fact that you are not here.


I wish you were with me to sing these songs along with me,


I wish we were together anywhere.


So I could see your blushing face when you look at me,


So you could look away when I catch you looking at me.


Then you would smile and leave me tongue-tied.


Where are those days gone?


Where are you now?


You are away but always in my heart.


It seems a bitter reality,


To have you away,


You have no idea how I am spending my days without you,


And I don't want to say.


Those words you sang for me,


Are engraved in my heart,


Spending each second away from you,


Is just so, so hard.


You used to make me happy,


Now you leave me in melancholy.


I know it's not your fault,


As time stands still,


I know you are trying your best,


To have a better future for us,


The song is coming to an end,


And I believe every end is a start,


It was you who mend my broken heart.


I pray my love, we never get apart.


 


A BLANK LETTER


 


Sitting opposite to each other,


They sat together,


He held a letter in his hand,


They didn't know where their story would land.


She was eager to read the letter,


She was excited,


To see what that letter held,


He sat there patiently,


Adoring the beauty she beholds.


He gave the letter to her,


And ended her curiosity,


She was shocked to find,


There was nothing she could see.


In a surprise, she looked at him,


And he replied, 'That's my life without you'


She was amazed and happy,


Her feelings she couldn't control,


Seeing her happy he was consoled.


'My life is a blank letter without you,


I want to fill the days together,


Whenever you are not around that's how I feel without you,


You are my sunshine in the dark weather.


You are my words, my feelings,


Oh! Darling, you are my poetry.


Whenever I meet you,


You blind me with your beauty,


And leave me speechless


Creating a cause to leave the letter empty'


She smiled, she shed a tear,


She preserved the letter forever,


She engraved his words in her heart,


She wished they never get apart.


 


JUST TELL ME


 


Did you come across those days?


When you feel low for no reason?


When every little noise hurts you,


And laughter causes you irritation.


Do you feel such?


When you get really annoyed by everyone,


And every little thing they do hurts you so much.


Tell me I am not the only one who feels this way,


Tell me sometimes it is fine not to feel okay.


Even the silence bothers the same way like noise,


I feel no difference in sadness and joy,


Every feeling in me faded away,


Time heals everything they say.


When will that time come?


Days are turning into years,


I am still in that same place,


There is no one to wipe my tears.


Tell me it is okay to feel like this,


Tell me I am not the only one.


Tell me that you feel the same,


Tell me I am not the one to blame.


 


A LITTLE SOME MORE


 


Every day, every minute,


I am lost in your memories.


Your good deeds, I adore,


From the day we grew apart,


I miss you even more.


Time runs so fast,


Like sand in my hand.


And still in my mind,


I have our memories running,


And trust me, dear


I can really do nothing.


Yesterday began to fade,


Still those past memories,


Clear in my mind,


I truly love you, those memories remind.


Sweet dreams became sweet realities,


Because of dear, I am in love with you.


Busy in our everyday lives,


Every time I pause I think of you.


Many things to do,


Many things to talk about too,


But dear, I choose you.


To talk about,


To do anything, just for you,


Because of dear, I love you.


Kept secrets till me,


Never let them, let go across the door,


Your good deeds, I say every time - I adore;


Trust me, dear,


With every passing hour,


I miss you and love you even more.


 


PRIZED POSSESSION


 


Bunch of flowers withered with time,


I have lost that which once was mine.


I fall deep down in the ocean waiting to be found,


My heart is heavy and my happiness is bound.


My eyes are tired shedding tears for you,


My state of constraining you never knew.


I know you love me truly,


It is a fact that I will forever remain yours only.


I fear I am the cause for our destruction,


There is nothing that can provide me satisfaction,


You are what I want,


I am fed up hearing taunts.


I am filled with rage and aggression,


All the sorrows of mine sink me into depression.


Time we spent together,


Remains memories of a broken feather.


There is no option for us,


Nothing persists now like it was.


True love, it will forever remain,


An entire life with you will I attain?


Till my last breath our love I will endure,


There is no one who loved me more than you I can say for sure.


You are my everything, my happiness, my inspiration,


All I can say, my love, you are my prized possession.


 


A LONG WAITING


 


I am waiting for you day and night,


Looking through the window pane.


Fed up with daily troubles, taunts and vain.


"Please have patience dear, I will come one day, take you far along with me so that there will be nothing for you to say."


I am missing you so much,


I can't stay here away from you,


Every moment I am restless and I miss you.


"Just some years left dear, please wait till I stand on my own.


I will come, my dear, you need not be forlorn"


My condition has been worse,


My eyes are tired looking at the path for so long,


I suspect if you remember the promise you made years ago.


"I remember dear, I will never ever let you go."


Every time I tell you the same,


Please be something, remember I am here waiting for you.


I know you will come; I...I trust you.


Days of forbearance end.


I terribly start to miss you,


Strong sense of emotion I feel,


I cry and plead saying that I truly and only love you.


This passion I feel, cannot be healed,


Unless I am with you.


You once again awakens the patience in me saying that,


"Time has come my dear, I am coming for you."


Still, it has been years, since you said that.


"Wait for me dear, don't lose patience, and trust me, I will come, only for you."


I know your nature when you tell something you fulfil.


I am waiting since years,


I know you will come...but when..?


That day came, not the day you came.


My last day when I lost my hope,


I broke down in tears thinking I lost my love.


Mourning in pain; scattered me,


Thought about the false promises you made to me.


I lost my hope, then you came,


Lifted me up and said,


"I knew it dear, you will wait for me, and you are mine only for me."


When I cried and told you how my every day I spent,


You wiped those tears off and told,


"Those days have come to an end."


"I have come my dear, sorry if it’s too late.


But I am on my own dear, as I promised you that day."


I hugged you tightly telling that I missed you.


"I have spent days worse dear as I had you waiting,


I had to come, my dear, as you were waiting."


And I told you how desperately I started to love you more,


You smiled and said,


"It’s love dear that didn't separate me from you"


I told you that I lost my hope, I've failed.


You once again made me risen up and said.


"Because of you I am on my own dear,


It’s just because you have waited.


It would be impossible without you dear,


Then how do you think you have failed?"


Last thing I remember I told you was,


"I knew it, a day would come when we would unite.


I knew it, your promise is undenied."


"I came as I promised you, my love,


There could be nothing for you that I will deny."


 


BLANK PAGES


 


Pages I leave blank,


Which shows the state of my mind.


Words I leave unsaid,


Knowing that once I say,


It might hurt someone.


My heart is heavy,


With the weight of your feelings.


My eyes are in tears,


Knowing that you are not here.


My soul is crushed and alone,


It haunts my emotions,


Plays with my feelings,


And confuses my mind.


But my soul stays with me when I am alone,


It doesn't let me die and gives me hope that tomorrow will be better.


Songs I leave unsung,


Hoping that you will sing them for me,


My hand which I offered you to hold,


Still remains open.


Our future which we saw together,


Still remains incomplete,


Our wishes which we prayed together,


Still remains unfulfilled.


 


LIVELY DEATH


 


I see fog everywhere,


It resembles my confused mind,


I am standing on a cliff,


Still, I don't feel high.


You are along with me crossing the bridge,


On these high and risky mountain cliffs.


I may lose you I fear,


I am glad you are here,


The cold wind shivers me,


Still, I can't feel that warmth of you being near me.


I may lose you while crossing the path,


We took this risk to prove our love,


I look at you, I shed a tear,


This is not about facing our fears.


Time is little and here we stand,


I jumped down the cliff holding your hand.


Now I don't fear to lose you,


I am sorry I couldn't survive being away from you,


I am sorry that I didn't let you live,


Here we are, falling down the cliff.


I am glad I loved you till the end,


At last, I became weak to bear life's bend,


Again I feel solaced in presence of nature,


I feel happy we die seeing each other.


Maybe we will be happy then,


After we die till the very end.


 


A SILVER NIGHT


 


It looks all dark yet bright,


The water shines in the moonlight.


The cold wind shivers me,


My tears you could never see.


It appears all silver, in this lonely lane,


I have fallen in love with you,


Is it a boon or a bane?


Standing alone and watching the lake,


Wishing you were by my side,


I think about the promises you made,


It's still unfulfilled and my feelings I cannot hide.


It feels my throat has been choked by the cold wind,


I cannot utter a single word,


I have a conscious mind which only thinks about you,


And a stupid, silly heart who still loves you.


I walk alone all the way to my home,


With those nostalgic memories of us in my mind,


I have lived each day in remembrance of you,


And feel like I have to sleep gazing at the moon that shines.


I am dying each day waiting for you,


How I am spending my days you have no clue.


My hope is fading and so are my memories,


I just hope I never forget those good things about you.


 


AWAY


 


Walking alone in a desert,


Trembling and tripping but not stopping.


Lost and waiting to get out from this mirage of the oasis.


I am exhausted and fed up,


The sand quickly pulls me deep into it,


The same way my sadness does to me.


My tears are quickly drying up,


With the scorching heat.


Walking and knowing not where I am leading to,


I am going where my feet take me,


Away from this world I am going,


I see no one around,


Not even the night sky and stars pleased me,


My world is within me,


Walking down again till I fall on the ground.


Abandoned and isolated I feel,


There is nothing which can make me feel astounded.


 


MUSIC BOX


 


Oh! Such sweet music,


It is a musical doll,


But trapped in a box.


 


OURS


 


My mind is confused,


My eyes are blurry drowned with tears,


My heart is heavy and burdened,


My situation is such,


How can I overcome my fears?


I sit still and my mind is lost,


I want to end this pain,


My heart is cold and covered in frost.


I cry I scream,


I wish all of this would be a dream.


My face has no smile,


I have no happiness,


I haven't seen you in a while,


I am suffering in forever darkness.


I am waiting, just waiting since years,


For you to come and wipe my tears,


I want you to come and ask my parents for my hand,


I long for that day when you and I will be lost in our dreamland.


 


STILL WAITING


 


Waves of sea rise and fall,


And time continues to pass.


I am trapped forever inside these walls,


And I feel I am a culprit behind the bars.


Just tell me why I am away from you


Just please tell me why?


You know the facts which are untrue,


And all your promises now you deny.


I die inside daily,


Waiting for you to come.


Emptiness surrounds me,


And my heart is numb.


Years of love and trust


Broken down and beginning to rust,


I am afraid, will life be the way we planned?


I am broken, my memories are fading to dust.


I am longing to feel your presence,


To walk with you hand in hand.


You gave me and my life a new essence,


I was helpless please try to understand.


Time is passing by,


But my life is paused.


Will you come and wave me hi?


Or I have to suffer another loss.


 


WOUNDED HEARTS


 


I feel I need to learn again,


The art of keeping time.


I feel there are many things to learn,


Like letting go what's mine.


Cultivating the seeds of time,


And altering the present.


I know it's difficult to change the time,


My tears flow for sincere repent.


Time is never still,


You and I are temporary,


I know what it feels to go against one's will,


It's not our fault please don't feel sorry.


It's not the correct time you say,


Just wait till time's right,


Time is always running by,


And I don't say that we didn't try.


All I say you to accept the fact that we cannot be together,


We are now broken clocks,


That cannot be mended.


We are broken pieces of time,


There lies no future for us.


We are broken hearts,


There is nothing which can heal us.


 


OUR LOVE WILL NOT DIE


 


I am without hope and in tears,


I don't wish you a goodbye,


Fate has constrained us to be apart,


Love became a memorable lie.


Let me be alone, all on my own,


Let me be peaceful till I die.


This is not my final goodbye,


I am without hope shedding tears,


Till the end I will love you;


With all the shattered dreams,


Still hoping that they come true after we die.


This is not a goodbye my love,


This is the beginning of our life.


We have to be apart from each other,


Our love will not die.


Unforgettable are those memories,


This is not a goodbye,


Scattered, broken and drifted apart we are,


Even though, our love will not die.


Forever, your memories and love I will endure,


Miles apart we are, in our heart love resides,


After all the struggles and the suffering,


I hope our love survives.


 


DEAD INSIDE


 


I don't need poison to kill me,


Our memories spent together are enough.


I don't need blade or knife,


Our dreams are enough to torture me.


The life we planned,


Days we dreamt of spending together,


Accepting the fact that we can't, kills me,


Smiles we shared together,


Those million tears cried for each other,


But knowing that we cannot be together,


It feels like a cruel murder.


I am scattered and my every dream is crushed,


I lost my hope,


My happiness had faded to dust.


You are preserved in my memories,


I can't let you go,


You are close to my heart,


To accept the fact to let you go,


Is so very hard.


I don't need a death to kill me,


I am already dead inside,


I need death to make my soul travel from earth to sky.


I always knew I survived and lived because I loved you,


Always knew your absence could kill me.


Without your presence,


My happiness, life, dreams just flew.


There are several questions running in my head


I am going crazy not being able to find a clue.


 


DEAD-ALIVE


 


One day, I would be on the ground,


Like a faded fallen leaf,


I would be buried,


Bringing an end to all my griefs.


I feel sorrowful,


When I would leave all my loved ones,


I would be gone,


Leaving them in woe and tears.


Will they miss me then?


Will they know my value?


Will they realise I was good?


Or will they forget me saying I am gone?


It's an eternal truth,


Death is what will part us,


I cannot even hide my tears from myself,


I am alive today,


But being away from you is death itself.


 


ALL OVER AGAIN


 


Another boy, another heartbreak;


I feel I deserve it all.


I chose to be with you for your sake,


You made me up, you brought me to a fall.


You simply vanished from my life,


You rose me up, you broke me down.


Across the fields, like a river


I wanted to stay with you forever.


You sank me down, drowned me till I shivered.


It feels so cold; I've to be bold


Till I recover.


All over it happened,


All over yet again.


You showed me life,


A perfect one, with you and me together.


You brought a smile, left me to feel pain forever.


 


My nature all sulky, my life so sombre,


You made me believe I was good


Then you decided to leave


I feel so high in pain,


My head is up in shame


Knowing I was foolish again.


I feel deceived by my deeds,


Which I thought it wouldn't be forgotten.


You built me up, you broke me down


Like I was a playing tower.


Across the seas, like a gentle breeze,


I wanted to stay with you forever.


 


Held by the things you told me,


Broken down by your audacity,


For me, you were the one,


Whom I trusted with my life,


Never knew you would let me down,


When I felt like a flying kite.


 


STAY


 


In another life,


I will stay,


I am sorry my love,


I had to go away.


 


I cannot forget your pleads,


How you begged me to stay with you,


I am helpless,


I cannot be with and without you.


 


I understand if you cannot forgive me,


I had no other way,


I am not so privileged to hear for the last time


What you have got to say.


 


I pray to be with you in heaven,


At least there I want my wish to be fulfilled,


Not in this life but another,


I will stay.


 


Please understand the situation,


For which I am gone,


Not in this life but another,


I will stay with you for long.


 


I am helpless,


I have no other option,


My words have no meaning


Without the pain of losing you.


 


I am sorry my love,


I am going away,


With you is the only place


Where I cannot stay.


 


Forgive me, for I had to go,


Understand my situation,


This is life I feel,


With all serious complications.


 


My heart is heavy in your love,


Still, I feel empty inside.


It was with you that I felt above,


Before dying, I have already died.


 


LAST WISH


 


My love, Do you remember the first time my sight caught yours?


I was so blushed, I couldn't move along.


My love, Do you remember the first time we met?


I love how your eyes were glued to mine.


My love, Do you remember the day you said that you love me?


You made me cry. I knew that already.


My love, why are you so quiet?


I am still alive.


Tell me something,


I know I am going to die.


Let you be my diversion,


For I know not the time I may leave you in seclusion.


Probably this might be the last day of us my love,


Let me lie in your arms for the last time.


My love, answer now the question I have asked all my life,


I have always asked you why me?


Knowing that you wanted me to be your wife.


My love, I am alive and well today,


You see I am still blabbering,


The same way when we first met,


Oh, my love, I am dying to see you smile.


I always wanted to live my entire life with you,


But it seems that my time is overdue,


I want you to stay happy,


For I am always with you.


This is how always I wanted to die my love,


I want you near me.


For I could tell you that I loved you till my last breath,


I could tell you that I have fulfilled all my promises,


But you promise me, my love,


To cherish the days we spent together,


Don't kill yourself after I go.


Promise me that you'll look and see me,


I will be there at that sky numbered seven,


For only if you promise me to continue your life,


I will try my best to meet you in heaven.


 


UNSPOKEN TRUTH


 


Smiles and happiness we scattered in each other's way,


All that is now gone and there's nothing left to say.


Months and years I've waited for us to be together,


All our dreams have come to an end and I still hope for something better.


Destiny and fate brought a tragic end,


This is life, it is something which couldn't be amended.


There is silence among us, our hearts still care,


It is you that I ask for, in my every prayer.


I smile and laugh, but deep inside I am broken,


There is much for you to know, all the truth remains unspoken.


 


WORTH


 


Since the year I met you,


I've wanted and waited to be yours,


Patiently waited for a day to come,


And years passed by,


I have loved you since then and till date,


It is not in our destiny to be together,


Still, I believe you are worth the wait.


Days, months and years,


I've dreamt and hoped that I'll be yours,


Smiles and laughter shared together,


All flew away like a broken feather.


All I want is to be yours,


And you to become mine,


Despite the effort and trying we couldn't be together,


Still, I believe you are worth my time.


You saw something in me which I didn't notice,


You were special to my eyes,


When you didn't believe that you are good.


We are perfect match, I want everyone to believe,


Forever together we wanted to be,


After all that has happened,


Still, I believe you are worthy for me.


 


MY SITUATION


 


This is one of those dark nights,


I wish you were here by my side,


I cannot control myself,


My feelings I cannot hide.


I am drowned in tears and my smile is gone,


I never knew my opinion on love could be wrong,


I know not the happiness in love,


When will I get the things I deserve?


Please don't force me to be the person I am not,


My love remains unchanged,


I still love you a lot.


I am missing you so much,


I cannot sink in slumber,


Oh! Please make some time for me,


Don't make me lose my temper.


Being away from you is making me the person I am not,


I am losing my hope and faith,


My mind is confused with thoughts.


 


BEHIND MY SMILE


 


Behind my smile, resides my broken self.


I am filled with regrets and guilt,


My smile is a disguise,


For others to believe it.


Behind my smile, are tears hidden,


They successfully deceive others.


Behind my smile are the days I suffered,


Mourning and spending sleepless nights,


Thinking about how worse it has been,


Despite I am scattered and hurt so bad,


The best I can give others is my smile.


 


SECRET ADMIRER


 


From everyone you came to know that a girl likes you,


Everyone told you she has fallen in,


You thought she was the girl whom you like,


But let me tell you she wasn't.


You said that she left you,


But why do you still keep on trying?


Just look at me why don't you see who I am.


When I finally tried to say you but I couldn't,


You were seen with another,


Then, I tried to forget you,


Then you didn't care either.


This love remained till me,


Later, you came and said marry me.


I was awestruck by your thoughts,


I thought you feel same like me,


Then finally I agreed,


Then you knew that girl was me.


 


AN APOLOGY


 


Forget the pain, forget the sorrow;


I hope for a better tomorrow.


Days were dark, nights were cold;


They heard the story,


Which once was untold.


All was revealed,


Nothing was hidden;


Did all that which was forbidden.


I know it’s my mistake,


And I regret;


Forgive me for that,


Please try to forget.


 


BELOVED


 


The days are getting cold and my world is lonely,


I wonder how you are, I am missing you terribly,


Our each memory spent together is flashing before my eyes,


And leaving me helpless,


I promise to stay by your side forever,


In the times of joy and also in distress.


 


UNVOICED SCREAMS


 


In the darkest of hour,


I lay awake.


Flashing memories and thoughts meet me,


They whisper melodious songs of heartbreak.


Scattered, broken, unfulfilled my dreams are,


My unceasing emptiness bounds me,


I have been strong for very long,


Now I cannot bear the sadness within me.


Despair and memories haunts me,


Telling me that we will not be together in this life,


I want to live another life with you.


All the promises I want to keep,


Life, with a bit of happiness, I want to seek.


Sadness ruptures from the depths of heart,


Not in this life, but another,


I will stay with you till the last.


 


 


CHILDHOOD


 


I miss those days when my tears stopped abruptly


When I was handed a chocolate bar,


Nothing was as soothing as licking ice creams and sleeping in a moving car.


Where are those days?


Where are they gone?


It seems that I grew up,


And now I have to be strong.


Broken crayons made me cry a thousand tears,


And now it's much worse,


Where are those days?


Where are they gone?


It seems that I grew up,


Now, this is where I belong.


There were many to look after me,


I was never alone with my toys,


Today, it seems a mystery to find a single joy.


Broken toys were easy to fix,


Rather than broken hearts.


My childhood is over,


Now, this is where my story starts.


Where are those days?


Where are they gone?


They are now a memory in my mind which I have to get along.


Floating bubbles were so much fun,


And also those ping pong balls,


They rose so high,


Making me feel higher.


I would startle at the burst of a balloon


And then I would cry,


My tears stopped abruptly,


When I was handed another toy.


It was nice being a kid,


Why did we ever grow up?


We had so much fun,


Now why we just want to give up?


Hold on, live like you are young,


Live in the memories of your childhood,


Sing those songs you left unsung.


 


DAYS OF HAPPINESS


 


As I watch the kids playing out,


I observe and notice the smile on their faces,


I wish they be happy forever,


I wish they stay joyful in every time of their phase.


I wish no sadness touch their lives,


I wish they shine forever.


It is the most beautiful time in one's life one would say,


It's the time of their childhood.


There is something unique about kids which draw my attention towards them,


I hate when they annoy me,


But yet they make me happy from a distance.


I wish they remain happy forever,


I wish I stay happy in my reminiscence.


 


CHILLY RAINY NIGHT


 


In this cold and chilly dark night,


The shower of ice cold water


Splashes on my heart,


And evokes those harsh and heart-wrenching feelings,


For once which I tried to forget.


Healing wounds have just now been freshened


With the raindrops on my heart.


I can't control myself and has to go with the flow of rain.


It seems that I have to once again bear all that terrible pain.


The pain of being away from you,


It hurts me so much,


When I recall those days,


When in such rainy days I met you.


That pain disturbs me


So much that this very instant


I want to be with you.


I know not how many more chilly rainy nights


I have to spend away from you.


I feel you have no such passion for feeling the rain,


Trust me, it gives me hope that only after the drop of rain has fallen it is useful.


So, I believe I will live only after I fall,


But I have fallen in love with you,


Then when shall I rise?


This rain which always gave me hope and happiness,


Today, why is it a sign of demise?


 


COMPLAINTS AND COMPARISON


 


How pleasing is the moon,


While the sun burns heavily.


How beautiful are the flowers,


Oh! But the thorns prick me.


Look at the stars,


I wish they were found near the seas,


He seems to be an independent person,


But my conscience tells me he is a vagrant.


Rose is pleasing to look at,


I wish it never loses its fragrance.


I want to bring the stars for you,


But damn, they are far.


Oh! People, stop complaining and judging,


Learn to accept things as they are.


"Look at her, she is good at everything and look at yourself"


People tell you this, but don't you bother,


Understand that people are foolish when they compare you with others.


 


A STAR AMONG MANY


 


I was a star for my parents,


They named me one.


I brought light to their lives


I felt warm with them; they are my sun.


I lost the major ray of sunshine,


She was my mum.


She drifted away from me,


Every day was a light year


And my life a black hole.


My starlight has lost the source to reflect,


I, a star wishes to see a star,


Waiting for a falling star to wish upon,


My wish is fulfilled when the comet falls.


For I hope my mother will fall for me as a shooting star.


I wish that my life is filled with galaxy of happiness,


In which a tiny star I remain.


 


 


DEEPEST DESIRE


 


I feel like a child, because when I return home;


I want you to hear all my stories.


I always wanted to light up your world with fame and glory.


All this will be an imagination mother,


As for me, you are a mere memory.


I want to cry the loudest on your lap,


I want to beg forgiveness for the pain and tears I have given you.


I want to change my past,


But, I wish I could.


I want to hold your head up high,


You were the one I could call mine.


I am so far away from you.


I can just hope that you are fine.


I want to tell you everything,


I want to show you how bitterly I cry.


Now you just can't console me, mother.


Years have gone by,


Now it’s too late,


I have just realised now,


And today I accept my fate.


 


LIFE WITHOUT YOU


 


You were gone leaving my heart wrenched,


My childhood with you I could not sketch.


My little hands couldn't stop you from leaving,


You are gone mother, still, I feel I am dreaming,


My innocent face you ignored and went away,


Why did you leave me?


I know you wanted to stay.


My tears were easily ignored by you,


You don't know how I am living without you,


I wish I had a perfect childhood,


But my life was filled with tragedies,


I want to bring you back,


But I cannot,


You wanted me,


Don't tell me you did not.


Was there any sign of sadness when you left?


Or were you happy?


I am so restless to see you mother,


Feels like being your daughter is a tragedy.


What was my fault for which I lost you?


Couldn't this life be renewed?


You gave me this life mother,


But without you in this pain, I wither.


Every time when I look in the mirror,


My reflection looks like it's you,


And when my hand reaches to touch,


I realise you are not here,


Happiness for everyone you are,


But you are my tear,


Everyone is so close to their mothers,


But you are not here.


 


MUM


 


I understand everyone shares a different story,


I can feel the pain one suffers,


Life can be easier if one neglects worries.


But my mind revolves around memories and I make my life tougher.


Each time I see a kid with its mother,


My heart whispers a question to me,


'Did your mum ever look after you like this?'


I become speechless and say 'I don't remember'


You are so far away,


How you are - I have no clue,


I wish you were with me,


What was my fault for which I lost you?


Oh! Mum, I feel forlorn,


Come and console me,


I weep like a child,


Come and heal me.


My life is incomplete without your presence,


I have no hope that I may be with you.


I smile but I cry tears in your absence,


Your love and concern in my life remain due.


 


MOTHER


 


I silently, secretly weep a tear.


I wish you were always here.


In this terrible pain, I wither.


I want to be close to you, very near.


The distance between us became my new fear.


I want to live a life along with you in cheer.


I know, for you I am always dear.


My screams and shouts you could never hear.


I am miserable, as you are not here.


Oh! I truly miss you mother,


I will always love you forever.


 


YOUR EXISTENCE


 


You are miles far from me, we have to be this way.


Situation was such we had to be away,


You are my mother, that's all I can say,


I miss you a lot more today as it is your birthday.


I know not how you are,


I am yours yet you are far,


You left, leaving me with a scar,


And cause me to struggle in a never-ending war.


All I pray that every happiness finds you,


And give you a chance to be renewed,


I can never understand the pain you have gone through,


Being far away, all I can do is wish you.


 


LIVING WITHOUT YOU


 


I wish I could see you,


I wish I could meet you.


Every time I weep tears in memories of you.


I know my words can’t reach you as you are miles away.


You don’t know how I feel,


I wish I could hold you in my arms


And cry the loudest on your lap.


I wish you were here along with me;


Every day, every time.


Whenever I return back home,


I wish you be waiting for me with a smile,


Whenever, I do not speak and feel low,


I wish you be beside me. Every time.


I wish you were here to wipe my tears,


I wish you were here to help me overcome my fears.


If you’d be here,


I would be the happiest,


A strong daughter of yours,


I would feel complete,


I would be confident.


But now without you,


I feel broken and drifted apart.


I am scattered in pieces,


Each day I spend so hard.


My happiness has gone along with you.


My life is incomplete without you.


I wish I could have you back,


Now it’s just impossible;


There are lots of things I want to say,


So many years have gone by,


And my tears have dried away.


 


YOU WERE THERE


 


I like to see you in my dreams,


At least there I meet you,


I wonder you miss me like I miss you,


I am lying here wide awake shedding tears,


I wonder you are sleepless there and missing me the same way,


I am all alone come and hold me tight in your arms mother,


I want to see you again in my dreams tonight.


I remember the dream of yesterday,


I couldn't believe that you were there,


I hugged you and cried in your arms,


And now you leave me scattered today.


I can't sleep come and whisper those lullabies to me,


I weep like a child come and comfort me.


All I want is you, mother,


Only you can brighten my life,


I see no way to see you,


Please put an end to this unbearable strife.


 


BLESSING AND A LESSON


 


I needed you so bad,


I wanted to meet you,


But I was not your priority.


I wanted to forget you,


I gathered courage within myself and I did,


I distanced myself from you,


But you never did.


My heart throbbed in pain


When I was away from you,


My eyes poured rain


When I couldn't see a future for us.


I missed you and knew that you did too,


Nights, I spent sleepless,


Thinking you spent the same way,


It took me time,


To move on,


I gathered courage and I did.


One fine day,


You appeared,


I couldn't meet your eyes,


And my heart whispered 'too late'


 


I struggled,


I was restless,


You lived,


While I felt breathless,


I wanted to die,


You wanted me to live a life along with you,


I cried,


You suffered in silence,


I died,


Because of the situations.


I became weak,


You were my only strength,


As you were gone,


I learnt how to be independent.


One fine day, you came.


My heart skipped a beat,


I wanted to end the blame game.


You asked for a chance,


But now I wasn't the same.


You suffered,


My eyes shed tears,


You were helpless,


I felt the same too,


You came,


When I wanted to leave,


I felt bad, a chance, I couldn't give,


All the promises, all the believes,


Came to an end and I feel deceived.


Mother’s love, I couldn't receive


And I am left here in tormented memories, to grieve.


 


MY DEAREST FATHER


 


I have written several things for my mother,


I equally admire and love you more than her father.


I am not afraid to unveil my past,


Oh! Father your place in my heart is vast.


I had no mother since years,


She left me and I was in tears.


You were the one who took care of me, father,


You turned all my tears to laughter.


Every night I woke you up,


But you never said anything to me.


Every day I created fuss,


But you bared all my tantrums with ease.


No one can take that place you have inside my heart.


I have loved you from the very start.


I cannot imagine being away from you,


I have not loved anyone else more than you.


I lack words to say what all you have ever done for me,


You were my mother too,


You took care of me like she would do.


But she was not with me,


You have filled her love by loving me from her side too.


I always want to see you happy,


No one can ever do what you have done for me,


You are the best in the world,


You are best in the whole history.


I am sorry for every pain I have caused you,


I am in tears father,


I cannot imagine losing you.


 


DESPONDENT


 


I was wandering at night,


Thinking how you would be.


So many days have gone,


"Did you forget?”


You would ask me.


Don't you know? My words can't reach you.


Please be patient,


I always teach you.


I feel scattered,


Every day a bit more;


I feel like a cold broken glass you know...


 


EXPLORE


 


The sun rises and sets,


The waves of sea never rest,


Deciduous trees stand burdened with the weight of leaves,


Throw down your sadness,


Spare no moment for grieve.


Nature surrounds us,


Stop, look and admire it,


Life is a blessing stop complaining and cherish it.


Live life to the fullest,


Leave no place unexplored,


Do something new every day,


Just laugh and live some more.


Nature doesn't belong to us,


We belong to it,


It provides us with much to appreciate,


If you feel giving up on something,


Look at the waves,


And think twice before you quit.


 


A PLEASANT MORNING


 


The nature has awoken;


And so have I


My dreams have broken


And here I lie.


 


The night has end giving me a warning,


It invited me to admire this pleasant morning.


 


Golden ray of sunshine,


So warm and tender.


Kissed the dew drops and the grass,


Into morning sunrise surrenders.


 


Flight of colourful butterflies,


So light and enchanting.


Absorbed the aroma of the flowers,


Diffused the scent in this morning.


 


Chirping of birds,


So melodious and soothing.


It compels me to wake up


To admire this alluring morning.


 


Sunshine finds its way towards me,


Colourful butterflies touch me,


The birds sings in my ears,


It is nature that I hold dear.


 


PLEADS OF NATURE


 


Look closely,


Dews of a plant are tears pleading us to keep them alive.


Observe,


The sun burning furiously over us.


Behold,


The sight of rain washing our shelter.


Be afraid,


Of the thunder as it rages upon us.


It is now that nature screams for attention,


But we turn a blind eye,


Only after we lose it,


We will realise its value.


The soil lost its essence


Because of the sediments of pollutants on it.


Greenery lost its enchantment,


Fog turned to smog,


We built houses among the trees


Now we plant them among the buildings


We uproot plants to establish a plant


We call ourselves humans?


Show some humanity towards nature then.


It takes months for a sapling to grow into a tree,


But less than an hour to chop it down,


Think for once how you'd feel,


When a thing you value most would be gone.


Humans- creator of all the problems on earth,


Forgot that we belong to it


We, the masters of nations,


Are also are the destructors of planet.


We want to be remembered to set a mark,


We will surely be remembered to cause harm


Not only towards our fellow beings,


But also towards nature.


One day, we will look back realise


How better it was without us.


 


FOSTER FLORA


 


Some people might feel,


Why poets write about simple things,


Like nature, plants and trees.


Humans are a wonderful creation by god,


It is a matter of time when environment would be extinct.


So, there must be poems and books on plants,


To make the future generation feel what their ancestors have done,


Unnoticed poems about nature would be precious then,


Because it is human nature to realise the value of a thing only when we lose them.


The essence of earth would be lost


With growing infrastructure.


The rains would be gone


As pollution takes control over.


Shade from trees would be replaced by shade from skyscrapers.


What will people greet with when there are no flowers left?


The greenery would be seen no more,


This planet will appear sad


When the touch of nature would be lost,


This world will die, when the last plant is crushed to death.


 


FORTIFIED BY FRIENDSHIP


 


Submerged in your own thoughts


You sat away from others,


Even I didn't notice you at first sight.


Fed up with everyone around,


I sat alone revising my tale to myself.


You were gifted to me,


A similar soul I found,


You redefined my definition of friendship


I found you always around.


My days got brighter with you beside me,


My life got easier with you inside it,


Happiness we showered on each other,


I haven't found a soul like you


And I will never.


Countless joys and memorable days,


Your laughter, your gaze,


I am fortunate to be your friend,


You can count on me till the end.


Empowering me for something better,


You give me hope like no other,


You keep motivating me,


With you I'll forever be.


You inspire me, you make me smile,


I will stay with you even if the distance is in miles,


You are the kindest soul.


You fill me to whole.


I always say you to see yourself from my eyes,


Then you will know what place you hold to me,


Your concern and care, your words so wise,


Forever, I hope, you will stay with me.


 


LET ME KNOW


 


Just tell me, you love rains;


I'll take you to a waterfall.


Just tell me you like roses,


I'll get you a bouquet.


Just tell me you love chocolates,


I'll own a factory,


Just tell me that you love me,


I'll get all of them...Everyday.


 


MOON


 


Oh! Moon, you shine up so bright,


You turn the darkness to light,


You are very far away from my sight,


You show yourself only at night.


You are surrounded by tiny little stars,


You appear very appealing to my eyes.


In the dark hours of night you rise,


You are sometimes crescent,


You make me surprise.


Adoring you all night my time flies.


 


TULIPS- A CINQUAIN


 


Flowers


Enchanting, lovely


Rising, blooming, swaying


Beauty of the valleys


Tulips


 


MY LONELINESS


 


I am so alone, walking on a lonely street.


I am exhausted and tired are my feet.


I feel like I am invisible,


Because there is no one to talk to.


I feel ignored, unnoticed and abandoned too.


Am I so bad that I deserve this isolation?


Then why tell me why I am not being involved in any situation?


If I behave the way like you do,


I hope only then you will understand the pain I am going through.


My pain is not temporary,


It is deeply rooted,


I am trapped and bound in my seclusion,


I am submerged in my agony.


I am so much in pain,


That you all have no clue,


At last, I tell you not to pity me or show me your sympathy,


If you really do care,


Then save and help me.


 


PAIN WITHIN


 


When I am happy,


Everyone sees me, that I am happy.


For some reason,


Whenever I cry,


There are only my tears and me.


No one sees my pain, my sorrow,


Always I hope it will end and life will gift me a tomorrow.


No one sees me when I cry,


Because maybe I don’t cry aloud,


I cannot forget how hard I may try,


Those memories revolve and kill me from inside.


I laugh aloud,


Hoping that the pain I feel may heal.


Everyone see that I always laugh,


What do they know?


I also burst into tears.


I am also a human,


But maybe with a cold heart.


 


DESPAIR


 


The more you laugh,


The more you cry,


I am fed up,


I am sinking in sadness,


No matter how hard I may try.


Neither I have strength to cry,


Nor I have the courage to smile.


Seeing everyone happy makes me hurt to see myself among them,


My tears never leave me,


They are my precious gem.


It even hurts when I close my eyes,


There is no one to console me,


Or to hear my silent cries.


I have no words to express how I feel,


In this eternal sadness forever I deal.


There is no feeling in me which seems real,


There is nothing in me which can be healed.


 


HAPPY BEING SAD


 


Feeling empty and crazy,


No future for us I see,


I am happy and sad at the same time,


But still waiting for us to be.


I cry in pain and smile in memories of you,


Time brought us together,


And also separated us.


I am happy being sad I say,


Because there's no fear which can keep me away.


I am happy being sad,


Because no more pain can kill me,


I have faced my biggest fears,


I have struggled to smile amidst my tears.


I am happy being sad,


Because it has become a part of me,


Sadness is my new sunshine, forever it will be.


I am happy being sad,


Even if pain kills me,


I am happy being sad,


Also when my dreams have scattered and my life turned against me.


 


BETTER WITHOUT ME


 


I stop myself from being involved in any situation,


I think I may create difficulties.


The consequence of my presence you cannot see,


And so I feel you are better off without me.


Being alone pricks me,


I want to be with everyone,


But thinking about the blame I might be,


I stay back and feel they are better off without me.


Being all by myself,


Wanting to smile a bit,


Heard a laughter and I want to go and be with them,


I don't know about the inconvenience I may cause,


Future, I cannot foresee,


I stay back all alone thinking they are better off without me.


I want to get along,


I want to be among everyone,


I don't know when my words can hurt them all


And start a quarrel,


Thinking about the consequence and the blames,


I remain at a place,


Whispering silently with a tear that they are better off without me.


Waiting for a smile and lots of glee,


I know my past, future I plan it to be,


Watching everyone from a distance,


It makes me solaced to see that they are happy and better off without me.


 


HITHERTO


 


This is one of the crazy things I ever knew,


I just know that I loved you,


Sometimes I am messed and I miss you,


Now it’s too late to tell you.


And now, I just regret it now, to be here with you,


But I wish those dreams come true,


I’ve regretted it and learned from it,


Now it’s late and time's new...


To be good for a thing to be changed for you,


You're my dream.


Leads me to several things I never did,


And I found myself I was never like this.


And I go hither where we first met,


And hitherto you and I aren't the same,


It's all my blame that I let you go,


And I tell it so,


Because it was an untold story by her,


For me hitherto it was I fear.


And I repeat the same,


Hitherto, you aren't the same.


Tears roll down my cheeks,


And hitherto I didn't cry like this,


All the pain, tears I cried for you is mine,


Only one thing that is not mine is you,


Hitherto, I loved you.


 


MY LOVE HAS COME TO AN END


 


When I spoke with you for the last time,


I remember I ended up giving you a compliment.


Making you believe that, whoever would be your wife she would be very lucky.


I have never thought she would be my sister so close,


Oh! I am such a fool, you told me you love her of course.


I just believed that there could be no future for you both,


A proposal from your side you have sent,


Despite I love someone else, more than you,


I feel, my love has come to an end,


My love has come to an end.


I can see you with anyone in this world,


But truly saying not with her,


What she did towards me is just unforgivable,


You’d be mine today,


If she’d tell those things at right times.


Maybe she would save me from all my pain, but she didn’t,


So, I feel she’s been insane.


From now on, I should prepare my mind,


To just picture you both,


You have crumpled my heart,


Leaving me with no hope.


Seeds I buried in your heart,


Fruits would be stolen by her.


You were never ever mine,


So there’s nothing to lose for.


From my side, I loved you with all my heart.


Nothing much I asked you for,


Gave you enough time,


Hoping that you change your mind,


But no, also you denied your friendship.


Then, how I ever thought you were kind?


I wonder.


Later, only your friendship I asked you for.


A hundred messages I have sent,


Now I feel,


My love has come to an end,


My love has come to an end.


Dreams I had seen for us,


Will be cherished by her,


One day, you will be her new dream,


I just pray


You never leave her, like you left me that day,


I just hope,


You love her so much,


More than these words could say.


I just wish,


You always bring tears to her eyes, of joy,


Finally, I have felt what it feels like to let go,


Finally, I have learned,


What you cannot attain,


Just let it go.


I hope and pray,


You both live peacefully happy ever,


As you were my love,


I have dreamt your happiness,


That is why I made a brave decision to let you go,


It took me a lot of courage you know.


Today, I feel proud to say that


I loved you so much that I have sacrificed you


Just for your happiness.


On your wedding day,


Well wishes, I will send.


I am so happy today, finally,


My love has come to an end,


My love has come to an end.


 


A BETTER CHOICE


 


A thousand dreams just flew away with a strong wind,


Even I trembled and was about to fall,


The floor beneath me spun so fast,


I felt that I could live no more.


It is not easy to see you with the one who is responsible for our drifting apart,


I can feel again all that terrible pain


Just cause I have a heart.


You caused me so much pain,


So much that I just cannot describe,


Going to marry that only one


Which for only once in my life I disliked.


I can see you with anyone in this world but not with her,


I hate the times when you both made fun of me.


I hate the times when I saw you both together.


It all pricks me like spears,


This is what you both will never realise,


I loved you with all my heart,


And what did I get in return?


Hatred, misery, pain and despise.


I have become so restless since then,


They say time heals everything


But it’s only getting worse.


I still see you in my dreams


And I really don't know why,


I still remember those things you told me once,


Were all those things a lie?


Till today, I miss you and I cry,


Still, why do I feel like this,


When you were never ever mine.


After you have hurt me so much


I should start hating you,


Oh! I apologise for such a thought,


But my heart doesn't approve this towards you.


I still believe that you are good,


Even though you called me a waste.


You should have thought about my feelings for once.


But no, you made your decisions in haste.


Later, I asked can we be just friends.


But you denied that too.


And then, I became such.


It was only then when it started.


I felt what they call it a heartbreak


But not exactly I felt like that.


But I felt that I can live no more.


I was alone in my tears and pain.


All those dreams still remains a dream.


I was so miserable,


I was even too weak to scream.


I was broken and drifted apart.


I still don't know


Why have you done this with me?


Being your friend would make me okay.


I am still in that regret till today.


I am surrounded by questions.


Sinking down deep in my own why’s?


I can tell that you left me,


Because it seems that you had a better choice.


 


A THOUSAND TIMES AGAIN


 


Your voice startled me,


It wrenched my heart.


In my mind, I heard myself speaking,


'I thought about you a moment ago'


I don't know whether I should be happy or should I be sad,


I don't know if I really want to forget you,


As you were the one who once made me glad.


Hearing about your would be dream girl,


I laughed at that moment but now I feel,


I will die a thousand times again.


Tried to be so strong like I've never been hurt,


Still, I feel diffident in front of you,


I know not- my fate,


But I know for sure that,


I lost you.


Since five years I live in this pain,


Tried to be humble and at times also been insane.


I have been hurt, broken, scattered in pieces.


Still, I held up myself and brought a smile on my face.


But thinking about seeing you with someone else,


I will die a thousand times again.


I can tell for sure,


Your would be wife may not love you more than I did once,


Even we were together for less than a month,


Since five years I couldn't erase you from my mind.


This doesn't mean that I love you,


I just want to tell that you are so true.


Still, I only love you for what you have not been,


Despite you had the chance.


Because you were so true about the world and the plans.


I have no hope, nor the desire to have you back.


Just tell me the reason for which I lost you,


What were those things I lacked?


On your wedding day,


I am not sure that I can be happy,


That very thought kills me,


That day is yet to come,


It has not yet arrived.


Since years I have been dying inside daily,


But it seems that I have to die


A thousand times again.


 


ACCEPTANCE


 


My tears are falling like rain,


I have no idea how to control my pain.


It's hard to accept the fact,


That is rising in me again and again.


I feel like I am cheating the person I love,


When my eyes are still shedding tears for you,


Tell me that is fine,


To cry after losing you.


Let me cry and leave me alone,


I want no one,


Let me be on my own.


It's hard to accept the fact,


I remember you called me a waste.


I still remember that,


All of that happened in a haste.


It hurts to know that I was never a part of your life,


Well, now I have to keep my feelings to myself,


As it may hurt your wife.


 


IT WAS NEVER ME


 


You were the first person I ever loved so truly,


We didn't even spend a month together,


Despite I have moved on, it has been years and now even I love somebody.


Knowing that you are engaged now, I am in tears.


I have given you a compliment saying that who would be


Your wife she would be very lucky,


It seems that you have found the one.


I feel now that I wasn't the one,


I am strong enough,


And I don't believe I am unlucky.


With tear of pain,


And smile of happiness,


Best wishes my heart sends,


I pray you both stay happy,


I feel it is finally today,


My love has come to an end,


My love has come to an end.


I am glad for those days I spent with you,


I remember the day you said I wasn't for you.


You have hurt me the most,


And later said me sorry,


Could you erase all the pain you caused me by saying it?


Instead, you gave me more worries.


I am really happy for you,


As I have sacrificed you just for your happiness,


On your wedding day,


Well wishes I will send,


Finally, it is today,


My love has come to an end,


My love has come to an end.


 


MY VIEWS ON LOVE


 


There was something I began to miss,


It remained just some things,


Because there were many things I missed.


Lots of things I got to say,


But got no shoulder to lay.


My feelings remained till myself,


Because there's no one who can understand me my way.


People say love till you live,


I think they don't know;


You daily die, if you love, till you live.


Rather be loved, instead of loving;


Because you gain love, instead of giving.


Lucky are those who find someone


Who be loved, however, they are,


They feel they are together;


Even if they are far.


Find someone who loves you for who you are,


Search for a pretty heart, instead of a pretty face.


It is the morals of a person which remains,


Sometimes a pretty face may lead to disgrace.


Look for the nature of a person, not looks,


Because if you love a person for its nature,


Love is what, you retain.


 


MY REVISED VIEWS ON LOVE


 


You might wonder what it feels like to be in love,


Oh it does feel so enchanting and happy,


But wait till love shows you its true colours,


You will feel like it’s a sacred sin.


When firstly touched by the poison of love,


It doesn't affect a thing,


But as the time grows,


You might want to break those strings.


For all those who are happy in love are happy and blessed,


For all those who feel love is a sweet poison, it is a curse.


It doesn't take time for love to change your views about it,


Love is just a lovely word,


Pray that you don't get touched by it.


Life is a lie if you believe love to be a happy ending one,


The Journey of love will drive you crazy and will leave you feeling none.


Open your eyes before a heartbreak does,


Is love true or just a curse?


 


CUPID'S ARROW


 


The world is in an illusion that


A cupid's arrow sows pleasant feelings of love in one's heart.


The feeling of love is enchanting,


But the scar of pierced arrow remains in your heart forever.


All it takes is an arrow to strike love in your heart they say,


The venom of love then enters the innocent soul and then starts the raging fire.


Love ignited from both souls, is a true bliss.


Then comes the tantrums, doubts and insecurities.


Love flies on the feathers of a flying kiss.


Unrequited love is hard to deal,


Feelings of love in one's heart is hard to seal.


The pain of the pierced arrow is now to be felt,


Let it be admiration of values of a person to bring the feelings of love,


Not an arrow.


Love brings a hundred days of happiness


And a thousand days of sadness.


Now the arrow of love strikes deeper,


Pain turns to torture,


It all starts with an arrow,


Today's joy and peace is stolen


With no hope to live tomorrow.


 


 


NOT MYSELF ANYMORE


 


I have no control over my feelings tonight,


They are flowing like falling rain,


I have so much to say,


I am living in agony and pain.


I have no control over my constant pain of missing you,


You cannot wonder how I am living without you.


No word I find accurate enough to depict how I feel,


There is no cure for my pain,


There is nothing which can be healed.


I cannot be away from you,


Without you, there is no glee,


There are tears behind my smile,


I am not that person anymore whom I used to be.


 


UNHAPPILY EVER AFTER


 


Why is that every boy who loves truly


Finds a girl who doesn't value his love?


Why is that every girl who loves faithfully


Finds a boy who shows no respect for her love?


Why is that when both love each other truly


The world doesn't allow them to be;


Suppressed by the domination of helplessness


They stay apart and live unhappily.


 


PETRICHOR


 


Green meadows and misty rain,


I wished I stayed there forever.


Everywhere greenery I see,


I felt so solaced in that pleasant weather.


It made me happy from within,


The unforgettable fragrance of petrichor,


Oh! That earthly essence,


It made me lost in its presence.


It still makes me relieved,


Making me feel more pleasant.


Unforgettable are those sceneries,


I am living them in my memories,


Amazing was the experience,


To be surrounded by nature,


To be liberated from the glitches of pressure.


 


LET GO


 


We are like strangers, of stories old,


I let you go, I've been bold.


Don't dream to be yours, I've moved on,


You are here, but you are gone.


When someone cannot be yours,


Let it go,


Because when you are brave to love someone,


You have to be even braver to let them go.


Hard will be the days, tears flow,


But be strong and hold on,


Learn to be strong in the pain for it will be gone.


You feel you are not worth,


You don't give a chance to love someone else,


Trapped in loneliness, when you feel low,


That's a time to be brave,


And let it go.


 


RAINY NIGHT


 


This rainy night makes me cold,


It makes me feel numb and weak.


My smile is gone and sadness beholds,


Only some happiness is what I seek.


My world has drifted apart from me,


And I am trapped in my own isolation.


Their actions have made me this person;


I forgot whom I used to be,


I have no joy and they tell,


I am the cause for my own destruction.


 


SEASHORE


 


We were near the seashore,


Looking at the setting sun,


Waiting for light rain,


And lots of fun.


You stood behind me,


While I searched for you,


And when I turned around,


I could see stars few,


You suddenly held my hand


And said that you love me,


Then, I looked in your eyes


And said I know it already.


In that dark night, your smile was the brightest which you gave me,


I know that was so good,


As ours is a true love story.


Then felt like God heard our silent wish


And yes it rained,


It was the best fun to get wet in rain.


 


SECRETLY


 


All those secrets, if I don't tell you,


All those sufferings if I cause you,


All those lies, which I may tell you,


For all those things, forgive me if I do.


I will do all those things secretly,


Without letting it you know,


Without you I am alone.


When I see you, I smile,


When I miss you, I cry,


Shedding every tear in pain,


And I couldn't believe you could be so insane.


What is the use to cry secretly?


Crying deep inside secretly,


As I know you couldn't be mine,


Pretending to be just fine.


I miss you,


I cry deep inside,


I did all this secretly,


Without letting it you know.


 


I LIFT MY PEN AND WRITE AGAIN


 


Hiding my emotions under a smile, in vain.


You disappeared from my life, leaving me plain.


I cannot elucidate my feelings, I am in pain.


I want to lift my pen and write again.


You were my sunshine like a glow,


You were like warmth, in winter snow,


Your love and concern, I cannot forgo,


I am tired hiding my pain, tears flow.


You were what I wrote about,


You and your love I couldn't doubt,


All alone by myself; got nothing to lose or gain,


Once again, stranded alone in your thoughts


I lift my pen and write again.


I let myself loose now,


I am living in this torment, only I know how.


Separated myself from others, my emotions are suppressed,


I want to spend an entire life with you,


That's my only request.


I want to be happy; to let my emotions drain,


I cry tears and with a smile


I lift my pen and write again.


 


TRAPPED IN TORMENT


 


These four walls witness my pain,


In which I shut myself in,


Tears flow and I am submerged deep in my thoughts,


Even my numb heart can feel the pain within.


My heart is heavy, even my breathing echoes,


I feel the chills as my tears flow.


I shiver, I writhe in pain.


Reason for which I cry doesn’t hurt me,


But knowing that I have no one by my side hurts me the most.


I just want that person to be on my side with whom I am so close.


In this longing pain each day deeply I dive,


Writing how I feel and expressing myself has kept me alive.


I am dead inside seeking for happiness,


I have no hope,


My heart sinks into sadness.


Forgetting those memories which I ought to remember,


They are flashing in front of my eyes,


Not allowing me to sink in slumber.


I am wide awake,


Longing to feel warmth from one's care and concern,


Oh! I am so restless and miserable,


For a bit of happiness, I yearn.


 


ONLY FOR ONCE


 


Only for once if I could forget my sorrow,


I would want to live in joy not caring about tomorrow.


Only for once, I want to dance and cry tears of happiness,


I want to end the choking venom of sadness.


Only for once, I want to feel what it feels like to be care free,


I want to burst the bubble of grief and want to be the real me.


Only for once, I want my inner self to feel pretty,


I want to end the feelings of being guilty.


Only for once, I would want to live life without regrets,


I want to live every day without being upset.


Only for once, I want to forget my every trouble,


I want to bury my strife and end my struggle.


 


 


SILLY HEART


 


Our heart is a monster,


That is why our ribs are cages,


Sometimes emotions feels like a torture,


We live with them since ages.


Feelings change, people does,


Love becomes forgotten and buried,


The monster that resides,


Suffocates and leaves us worried.


People play with feelings,


They crush and torture emotions,


There lives no hope for living,


We find no solution.


It feels like everything has come to an end,


Nothing can make us feel better,


Scarred hearts with broken dreams cannot be mended


So we are left here, in this pain to suffer forever.


We blame ourselves saying 'my silly heart'


And that is why our heart is a monster,


It is caged since the start.


We let it loose, to give it a chance,


It loves more than it receives


And leads us to an unavoidable circumstance,


Our silly little heart often deceives


And makes us the person, we never wanted to be.


 


 


SOMETIMES


 


Sometimes we let go the things we love,


We do mistakes, we fall, we lie above.


Sometimes we try hard to make life perfect,


We realise, we apologize; after we regret.


 


Sometimes we feel life will fall into place,


We try harder than we could, just to catch the pace.


Sometimes we are helpless and tired of trying,


We sit back and hope, life will be worth living before dying.


 


Sometimes we smile when we are dead inside,


We force it, which leads to a misguide.


Sometimes we are fed up and want all this to end,


We break the barriers and become weak to bear life's bend.


 


Sometimes we want things so badly,


We make an effort to achieve it exactly.


Sometimes we are left with unaccomplished dreams,


We lay emotionless in tears with silent screams.


 


SMILE



 Smile says many things, and also hides a hundred pain;


Like the sunshine that comes after rain.


People see the sunshine and say it might have rained,


Likewise, when you smile they believe in your smile even though you are in pain.


Every time you smile may be for any reason;


But please smile, it doesn't need any occasion.


Don't smile to hide the pain,


Smile to heal the pain.


Each smile says something,


Smile with your pure heart, not in a cunning way;


Ah! What a pretty smile people should say.


But I don't want that smile which everyone likes,


I want that smile by which when they look at it, they smile.



 STAR



 In the dark sky, there was a star,


Looked near but yet so far.


Seen by all, wanted by few


People say, you see that daily. What’s new?


Looking at stars says something


For me, that's a presence of missing.


So, that's why I ask myself, "Whom do I miss?"


I ask it, "Is it my past?"


Heart whispers, "It's that special one whom you would love and from your past, you would choose none"


It’s such a pretty sight to look at stars,


My life is empty without you,


Like a night without any star.


 

THOSE STRANGE LITTLE SECRETS



 I make sure that my eyes don't reveal my inner feelings,


Because when you'll know you will drown in my tears.


I feel proud that my smile veils helpless me,


Because when you'll know, you will show me your sympathy.


I feel glad that whenever I speak my lips don't quiver,


Because when you come to know about my horrific days, you'd probably shiver.


I feel happy knowing that my heart doesn't melt anymore at my flaws,


I even feel glad when my heart don't tell you each and every secret I couldn't tell,


Because when you come to know you'll realise you are one of them.


I also make sure that my heart doesn't scatter and reveal the painful me,


Because it is a strange little secret, I keep hiding from myself.


Those are strange little secrets,


I couldn't tell you.


Those are strange little secrets,


You never knew.


 

UNACCOMPLISHED DREAM



 I am still in that longing pain in which you left me in,


I cry, I smile just to hide the pain within.


I am broken, drifted apart and my every dream is scattered.


You wouldn't believe if I told you


That you were the only one who mattered.


You don't know how hard my days were,


You never noticed my tears and screams,


So many years have gone by,


Today, it all seems like an unaccomplished dream.


 

TO LIFE


I will smile even when you are giving me a thousand reasons to cry,


I will be fair with you- my life,


Even though you were so unfair to me.


I will not be the way you had been with me,


Because I want to be remembered as the one


Who smiled in spite all of her griefs.


I want to be remembered as the one


Who kept on repeating her mistakes and never failed to admit them.


I want to be remembered as the one


Who had endless hope and her expectations ruined her,


You had crushed me and choked me to death,


I am a little distance away from dying,


But you are so cruel,


You take away the lives of others who are happy in their lives,


You steal the breath of those who struggle to be alive,


And don't grant death to those who don't want to live.


You are a bitter truth,


Now death seems a beautiful lie,


But you are still so cruel to give me hope that tomorrow will be better,


Since all these years I've lost and been hurt,


You have kept me trapped,


I hate the sunshine and another day,


That couldn't bring brightness in my life.


Each day I am struggling,


Life is sustaining me even when I don't want to be alive.


I believe life is meaningful and worthy,


But why don't I get what I have loved?



 PLEASE COME



 I love you very much but you are not the same,


I still love you,


But you have changed.


You said me a thousand words,


Promised to make my dreams come true.


Where are you now?


Oh! Darling, I am waiting for you.


I wither, I cry in hope,


My faith is fading,


Such extreme emotions I cannot cope.


Where are you now?


Please come soon,


Oh! Darling, I feel doomed.


Seasons change, but my feelings don't,


Many left you, but I won't.


Try to understand it wasn't my fault,


There's no one to blame,


My feelings are dying,


And my heart is in flames.


My feelings may die for you,


But my hope never does,


It was enchanting when I fell in love,


And now I pay the price.


Where are you now?


Oh! Please come and make me surprise.


 

UNDYING HOPE



 Today, I write this poem,


That unveils all my pain.


I can tell you how


The world will crumble you,


And how it’s insane.


It deeply hurts down deep,


When you sow something sweet,


And something bitter comes indeed.


It really makes you feel hopeless,


When the shining sun, couldn’t bring a shine in your dreams.


So, you are there all alone,


In the world full of people,


But travelling alone.


So, then you feel the loneliness,


So, then you know what it feels like to be alone.


With all my strength, all my courage,


Picked the broken pieces of my heart,


Somehow, I managed.


So this is me today,


However I am, I feel proud to be.


But this couldn’t be seen by the people,


Everyday trying something new to degrade me,


And they pretend to be so humble.


It hurts me,


It pricks me like spears,


To have everyone all around,


But not anyone to be with me.


I cannot describe that feeling,


When I hear cheers and joy,


And when I go,


The dead silence I hear.


What should I think about it?


Were you laughing at me? I wonder.


And then, I criticise myself


Saying that I am no good.


I tend to easily believe,


What everyone tells me


I have just dissembled my feelings and


Closed my eyes and believed whatever everyone has said me.


I have reached that point in my life,


Where if I had been praised by someone


I feel that’s untrue,


This world has made me like that,


A hundred praises aren’t enough


For a thousand rebukes.


I am a fragile glass,


I just can’t bear any pressure.


I do not pray for my happiness


Instead, I pray for a happy you.


I want no perfection in my life,


I want no involvement for me,


All I want is a happy, peaceful we.


Every little pain I feel,


Every little taunt I hear,


Every ignorance I face,


Every day I suffer,


Hoping that my life will be happiest,


Contrary to the days now,


I want no troubles tomorrow.


I have complete faith and trust in my prayers,


It will be all like we have imagined,


So, just sit back and smile,


These complications are now just for a while.


As I know, you will come one day,


Take me far along with you,


Leaving behind all the pain and sorrow,


I am just waiting for that wonderful tomorrow.


 

LIFE'S STRUGGLE



 Under the shady tree, I sat wondering,


What it would be like to fly like birds,


I feel so hurt when I see people with no freedom.


I see a child with her mother,


I feel so hurt thinking about those who have no one.


Places are the same with different people,


Life is the same but has different emotions.


This life is cruel and meaningless to some,


While for some they want to live it again.


Life is a blessing, not a curse,


So stop living life in remorse.


It is pitiful to know time has gone in regret,


There is always a rising sun after every sunset.


Wait for your day to come,


Strive hard to achieve,


Because that's life, it involves struggles,


It is too short to stay in grief.


 

LIFE GOES ON



 I walked down the path looking at the trees,


Mesmerised by the scene,


I let myself go along with ease,


Wind was strong to disturb the leaves,


And they fell with an autumn breeze.


Then I realised even the leaves are temporary,


They grow again and there is spring.


I moved on and looked at the waves,


It made me lost in daze,


The sand was washed away beneath my feet,


The waves come and they are gone,


They rise up and they fall,


Nature conveys broader meaning,


Only if we understand,


It provides calmness,


It reminds life goes on.


 

LIVE SOME MORE



 Life is not simple;


Happiness and sadness are equally important to live,


Leave no moment to regret,


Concentrate on your dreams and achieve.


Sow a seed of kindness,


Let the field of humanity rise up,


Understand people's pain,


Comfort them and make them happy,


Life is a word you define it,


Life is beautiful if you know how to live it.


 

MORNING STAR



 She hides her pain really well,


When her happiness turns to sadness you can never tell.


She has seen worse days,


Her life changed her mind in a state of haze.


She lost all her hope,


Her extreme emotions she couldn't cope,


She was left alone all by herself,


No one knows her than me,


She suffered in silence,


There was no one for her guidance,


She was blamed by all,


She blamed herself for her fall.


She was dead inside,


She felt alone to have no one by her side.


She has spent miserable days,


Till today she seeks a perfect place.


Every good thing in her was forgotten,


Even she forgot them,


She started to hate herself,


In her melancholy, she was engulfed.


Her smile is lost,


Her heart is still covered in frost,


Her life is messed and shabby,


She just wants to be happy.


She still hopes for the better days,


She hopes she will fit in a perfect place.


She smiles even when her heart is in scars,


Each day she rises up in hope;


For her name means morning star.



 HER FATE



 She walked in grace and beauty,


Losing all her hope and happiness.


She hid her beast which was inside herself,


Who knew she was so much in pain and distress.


Her good deeds done were ignored,


And everyone pointed out her mistakes,


Like the roses covered in thorns,


She was beautiful from within,


But also had some flaws.


She felt there was nothing good in her,


Her peace was stolen and so was her identity,


She seeks a chance to change her destiny.


FLAWLESS



 Even broken things are beautiful to look at,


There is beauty in a face that doesn't smile.


Not everything is meant to be perfect,


Sometimes imperfections are perfectly designed.


 


Look beyond, look above,


There lives a soul without life,


Tell her, make her believe that she is alive.


Despite all the negativity


And all the fruitless efforts,


She smiles; yet believes that she is no good.


After all that has happened,


Her hope died, but her desire to live remains.


Make her believe, even broken souls are beautiful too.


Her life all messed up, her destiny all tied,


She feels that she has no beauty,


Because life took away her smile.


Make her believe that a face which doesn't smile is happy too.


She claims she is imperfect,


She has never done anything right in her life,


Talk to her, make her believe,


That she is flawless even in her imperfect life.


CHARMING SEA



 Another day awaits me,


At a place so breath-taking,


I am near the waves of the sea,


Blessed by another morning.


Azure water shines brightly under the sun,


It provides warmth to the sea.


Playing with foam and having fun,


The waves rise with utmost efficacy.


Adoring the blue water my day has passed,


I want to behold the sight of sunset,


I wish it ever lasts.


Moonlight has dominated the sky,


Into darkness the night glooms,


I am happy with the thought of the sight of a morn,


In my heart happiness blooms.



 NEVER EVER



 Don't ever try to kill yourself,


Live for the ones who are willing to die for you,


And if there is no one,


Live for them to find you.



 ONCE IN A LIFETIME



Everyone has only one life,


But they live every day.


They think they have a lifetime to pass,


But they forget that every day is a new day.


We are born only once,


Make the best use of this life,


Promise to make yourself and others happy.


For once in your life think about others,


Feel and understand their pain,


Care for them before it's too late.


For once in your life show humanity,


So that you leave an impression and example in the society.


Do something that the world will thank you for,


Because you have given a life,


Choose the right path,


Make the best use of this only given opportunity in life,


Live no life in regrets;


Don't waste the precious time in being a culprit of useless strife.


I NEVER KNEW



I never knew how strong I was,


Until I spent miserable days.


I never knew how much patience I had,


Until I didn't get what I wanted.


I never knew what I was capable of,


Until I achieved something great.


I never knew what I had inside myself,


Until I recognised and learned it my way.


I never knew the courage I had,


Until I was no more afraid.


I never knew I was kind,


Until my eyes shed tears for someone else.


I never knew I was good,


Until I saw my own true self.


I never knew I mean so much to someone,


Until I fell in love with him.


I never knew I had strength,


Until I lived alone all by myself.


I never knew time is perfect now,


Until I came to know time is never just right.


I never knew life isn't easy,


Until I fell and rose up to live my life.


I never knew the troubles I was facing,


Until I came to know about it at the right time.


I never knew I was happy,


Until I came to know what is sadness.


I never knew how blessed my life is,


Until I suffered and thanked for my life.


I never knew what my fate brought,


Until I prayed and made everything all right.


I never knew the power of love,


Until I got separated.


I never knew time teaches us lessons,


Until I learned them.


I never knew everything happens at right time,


Until I waited and got it.


I never knew what it feels like to miss someone,


Until I got separated and apart from him.


I never knew the meaning of life,


Until I lived my life the way I wanted to.


I never knew what patience is,


Until I prayed and my wish got fulfilled.


I never knew how powerful a wish is,


Until I shed tears and they got true.


I never knew the possibilities,


Until I discovered the endless things that could happen.


I never knew what I deserved,


Until I made the choices and took a risk.


I never knew whom I feared,


Until I decided to face it.


I never knew my own self,


Until I suffered and recognised myself.


I never knew the value of something,


Until I lost it.


I never knew happiness,


Until I found what was lost.


I never knew what trust is,


Until I trusted someone.


I never knew what a heartbreak is,


Until I suffered it.


I never knew I hide my pain,


Until I saw there was no one to share with.


I never knew I could bring happiness,


Until I made someone happy.


I never knew life is beautiful,


Until I discovered it depends on the way we live it.


I never knew everything happens for a reason,


Until I found them.


I never knew what is meant to be will be,


Until I accepted the facts.


I never knew what my decisions would bring,


Until I left it all to God and said


'I have faith and you know what is best for me'



I CAN AND I WILL



It will take some time for me to erase the thoughts that continuously revolve in me


I can do that and I will.


 


It will be only a matter of time when I will be happy and the past memories won't haunt me


I can learn to be such and I will.


 


It will take time for me to dissemble my affection and wait someone to accept me for who I am


I can wait and I will.


 


It will be a journey for me when my life gives me a new day to live life again


I can live my life again and I will.


 


It will take me time to rise up after being submerged in my agony


I can gain strength and I will.


 


It will be a new life waiting for me to shower blessings and happiness upon me


I can live a life like that and I will.


 


It will be a past and all the gloominess of my life will fade away


I can live happily and I will.


 


It will be enough for me not to think about my past and go with the flow of life where it takes me


I can move on and I will.


 


 


ACROSTIC POETRY


 


PAIN


Physically and mentally tortures us


And doesn't allow us to be happy


In any circumstance and


Negative thoughts are filled in our mind


 


LONELY


Lost in their own world


Often feeling depressed to be all on their own


Never finding any joy in any other thing


Except to recollect memories that made them happy


Lost all the care and concern from everyone


Yearning for happiness and someone to understand them


 


LOVE


Leaving behind all the fears


Once I started to like you


Very thing I realised you were the one


Everything I ever wanted


 


GREW APART


Good and bad was forgotten and


Regrets started consuming me up


Each time I got closer to you


We only got separated


After all the trying and my cries


Peace we couldn't find


And fate constrained us


Reality was really hard to accept and


Time was responsible for drifting us


 


HOPE


Helpless thoughts surround my mind


Of the future we planned


Pleasurable and joyful life


Exists in a place only in our dreamland


 


TIME


Together we decided to bear life's difficulty


In the midst of darkness, we stand


Moments spent while the clock is ticking


Every action of now will tomorrow be the past


 


POET


Person who inspires and understands


One who feels the pain of others


Every time thoughts weave in their mind


Trapped and surrounded by their own dreams


 


WRITING


Wonderful thoughts which console oneself


Rested on a sheet of paper


Intensely heart touching and


Thoughts which are relatable and are


Inspiring and encouraging which


Nurtures every individual's mind and helps them


Gain information or empathise with someone


 


SLEEP


Souls from one's body


Longs to rest and be at peace


Exempting the worry and


Enriching the mind to be


Peaceful and happy


 


FATE


Faith in one's life


About the future and


The time passed by


Engraved destiny was written before we were born


 


FRIEND


Finding someone close to your heart


Reaching them in troubled times


Inspiring them always


Empathising with them in times of need


Never leave them alone


Despite all the difficulties


 


LIFE


Letting oneself out of the comfort zone


In a place where they belong


Fight battles with self


Exist and be strong to survive


 


TEARS


Trapped in melancholy and woe


Engulfed thoughts and memories


Are making me feel hopeless


Raging war with myself


Struggling and fighting to be happy



DON'T LET MY WORDS FADE



I will not live long,


I want my words to remain forever.


I will leave my unsung songs,


Promise me, you will leave them never.


When I am no more, don't cry,


It would be deceiving me when I was alive.


So here I lay, under this tombstone with my head up high,


When people like my words and want to see me, tell them that I am no more;


Show them where I lie.


My words will not haunt you,


They will be gone along with me.


I will leave my words with you,


Don't expect them to be words of glee.


I wish that my words gain attention,


As I was not a person to be.


I lived all my life in seclusion,


Don't believe? Come and see.


This is how I bid you goodbye.


After I live; before I die.

 


I HEAL


Trying to forget the sorrows, my heart- I seal,


Ruptured emotions of my ruthless life- I conceal,


Passion and concern from the one who loves me, I feel,


After years of tormented life, finally; I heal.


 


Rage vanished and anger dissolved,


Situation changed and heart resolved,


Life gave me a chance; It absolved,


After years of patience, Love evolved.


 


Negative thoughts faded as confusion,


Sadness left me and ended my seclusion,


I find myself happy and away from isolation,


At last, I hope I feel excluded from depression.


 


Everything appears blissful and pleasing,


I find my love for you, increasing,


Sadness to happiness my feelings are replacing,


Happy I am, I find myself healing.


 


Your acceptance, I encounter,


You made me feel beautiful as a flower,


You- I want to empower,


Love upon you, I shower.


 


I wish to be with you in every phase,


I promise to never part ways,


I hope I brighten your days,


I pray, love keep us together always.

 


FOR MY READERS AND WELL WISHERS

 


This is for my readers, who have helped me build courage in myself, who made me gain confidence and have trusted me that I can do better. Today, I want to thank each and every one of you who have expressed your emotions and have related with mine. I truly feel happy when every one of you read and liked my poems.


For those who wait patiently for my upcoming works and wish me luck, I feel widely elated to know that they really like and enjoy reading my works.


For those who felt lonely and read my work, I equally thank you because I am glad that my words could solace you.


For those who encouraged me, inspired me, have my greatest gratitude as they are each one of you.


I hope I have clearly expressed my gratitude to each one of you,


I wish you all stay my by side forever and never bid me adieu.





© 2018 Najam Us Saher



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Featured Review

Wow!
After reading this beautiful collection of poems, I felt like I journeyed through your life.
Really, you make others feel what you feel, as you mentioned in one of your poems. Your work taught me so much! "Your words echoed in my heart"
Some of your poems are full of emotions while others deliver a perfect message!

Also, Allah tests those whom he loves the most. The days of glory are yet to come! I hope you get everything you want. I'm sure Allah has planned the best for you because you are a wonderful soul. ☺❤

Posted 7 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Najam Us Saher

7 Months Ago

You made my day. You have my greatest gratitude. May Allah bless you and keep you happy.
I c.. read more
zubia

7 Months Ago

It's my pleasure ☺



Reviews

Is this all? goes to show you you never know how much you wright-or how good it is-untle you wright it all together like this

Posted 2 Months Ago


Najam Us Saher

2 Months Ago

I am grateful to you for reading this collection of my poems, I thank you very much for the time you.. read more
All of these are just amazing. The journey relfects your visionary approach. Titles suit their inner words so much. Loved reading them.


Posted 2 Months Ago


Najam Us Saher

2 Months Ago

Wow. I was amazed thinking who might have found time to read this compilation of my poems here, you .. read more
Ghania

2 Months Ago

It's my pleasure, dearest Najam 💗👌
Oh my gosh! These poems are so beautiful! I love it!

Posted 5 Months Ago


Najam Us Saher

5 Months Ago

Thank you very much, I am overwhelmed to know that. 😀
Wonderful collection of poems. And reading those poems was totally worth it! And again, of course, some of them are so relatable that I don't even know how to explain..

Just keep writing. I hope the best for you! Keep it up!

Posted 6 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Najam Us Saher

6 Months Ago

Thank you very much for taking the time to read my words, much appreciated. 😀
Raas

6 Months Ago

You're welcome :D
Wow!
After reading this beautiful collection of poems, I felt like I journeyed through your life.
Really, you make others feel what you feel, as you mentioned in one of your poems. Your work taught me so much! "Your words echoed in my heart"
Some of your poems are full of emotions while others deliver a perfect message!

Also, Allah tests those whom he loves the most. The days of glory are yet to come! I hope you get everything you want. I'm sure Allah has planned the best for you because you are a wonderful soul. ☺❤

Posted 7 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Najam Us Saher

7 Months Ago

You made my day. You have my greatest gratitude. May Allah bless you and keep you happy.
I c.. read more
zubia

7 Months Ago

It's my pleasure ☺
A collection of poems and so many of them...regarding your poems, I loved the topics that you chosed to write...and each of them is truly wonderful.... I really loved your work.
Am waiting for the second chapter....go on...keep on writing, dear.

Posted 7 Months Ago