Fish bowl

Fish bowl

A Poem by Najam Us Saher


FISH BOWL
O' beauty of my bowl,
Do you like living there?
O' you tiny soul,
If you don't want to stay; break away.
 
O' little fish gliding in exuberance,
How do you live happily?
O' small life of innocence,
Teach me your way.

O' fragile fish, you capture my attention, 
Doesn't your beauty fade away?
O' fish of my admiration,
There is nothing less about you to say.

O' joyful soul; mini delight, 
Why are you going away?
O' pleasure of my sight,
Guide me thy way. 



© 2017 Najam Us Saher



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Reviews

This is an interesting read!
I find it both fun and sad..
It's like your longing for something..
Beautiful work!!

Posted 2 Months Ago


Najam Us Saher

2 Months Ago

Thank you very much :)
Don't find it too charming, It's really alarming when you finally learn what it's about;That cute little fish in its watery dish Is just trying to find its way out!
That's what I think, anyroad.

Posted 2 Months Ago


Najam Us Saher

2 Months Ago

Thank you so much for your words.
angel

2 Months Ago

welcome.J'm a humanitarian.
Awww. The fish is cute to me. The piece is cute, actually. Something I normally don't like when said to me, but this is just adorable, so I hope you don't mind.
I really like your admiration of the fish and how you wish it could teach you how to be content. The entire thing bursts with imagination, a trend I'm finding in your work.
I just looked down and saw another comment that says basically the same thing. Ha.
I do wonder at that last line, did the fish just swim away or...die? :(

Posted 2 Months Ago


Najam Us Saher

2 Months Ago

The fish swam in another direction :)
Thank you so much for appreciating this one. It means .. read more
I like it it's cute and imaginative and interesting, though we don't use thy and o' anymore but it's okay I've learned from that mistake. I have mixed feelings about the prompt of the fish bowl thing, though it is adorable and cute and stuff I feel your writing can do more in good time. I like it good job!

Posted 2 Months Ago


Najam Us Saher

2 Months Ago

Thank you very much for reafing, it means a lot.
Najam Us Saher

2 Months Ago

For reading*
Your poem is solid & interesting & imaginative. I love the way you seem to suggest that a fish in a bowl might teach you to be content in some similar small realm, perhaps . . . this is a brilliant point, but I feel it's not 100% clear that this is the point you are making. But that's OK becuz each reader can take whatever lesson he/she sees in this fish bowl. I notice that you do not use very much imagery to SHOW us your fish . . . such a brightly-colored creature, it seems unusual not to mention that. Also, the splishy-splashy aspects could be enhanced to make this a more dynamic story. It seems you describe a more colorless, lifeless flat fish picture, where you imagine how the fish must feel, maybe limited -- you write about what you guess inside your head, rather than writing what you would actually see & hear & smell & touch, if you were interacting with a lively colorful fish. I think this poem is okay, the way you wrote it. But I just wanted to point these things out to you, so you can decide if you want to write in this way, which is more "inside your head" -- or if you want to try sometimes getting outside your head & write like a movie camera, observing life & describing all the sensory aspects & the dynamic movements. Thank you for taking my thoughts into consideration -- I know I've gone on & on! (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

Posted 2 Months Ago


Najam Us Saher

2 Months Ago

I haven't seen a fishbowl in years and this is just my imagination of how I would admire it. However.. read more
Hello Najam
Funny about this site. A comment takes you off into a different realm.
I have enjoyed your poems.
Are we not all in our own little fishbowl
very nicely done

Posted 2 Months Ago


Najam Us Saher

2 Months Ago

Indeed Sir we are. Thank you very much for reading my poems, good to meet you.
It is also filled with emotion like your other poem... I love it. Thanks for sharing Najam :-)

Posted 3 Months Ago


Najam Us Saher

3 Months Ago

You never fail to make me happy by your kind words. Thank you very much. ☺
SZHZIA

3 Months Ago

pleasure... You are welcome.. :-)
A creatively expressive poem with heartfelt really down to earth emotions. That touches the heart. And make you think. With a smile on your face.

Posted 3 Months Ago


Dawn

3 Months Ago

MY pleasure sweetheart of late so been into myself. I lost me. But trying to help others again. You .. read more
Najam Us Saher

3 Months Ago

I agree with your words. Just like you I write to make myself feel better. I pour my emotions out.
Dawn

3 Months Ago

It does help. Keep expressing yourself. And you will grow also and learn like Iam more about yoursel.. read more
Beautiful amazing and creative writing... Really loved it

Posted 11 Months Ago


Najam Us Saher

11 Months Ago

Thank you very much for reading :)
O' what a creative writing, reminds me of the time when I had a fish ball back then..
Your lines about a simple fish ball made them feel special.

Thank you again for sharing such a beautiful writing.

Posted 1 Year Ago


Najam Us Saher

1 Year Ago

Thank you very much, I am extremely happy that my poem made you remember some good memories, Also, I.. read more
Joey Nizz

1 Year Ago

your welcome and yes It gave me some good memories of my mini aquarium, it used to have the best loo.. read more

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Added on November 1, 2017
Last Updated on November 3, 2017

Author

Najam Us Saher
Najam Us Saher

Hyderabad, India



About
Some people want to live long so that they are remembered for a long time, I want to live a little and want to be remembered forever. All the noises in my head, all the words unsaid, all the emotio.. more..

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