She Danced

A feel good story about gems and jewels, dancing and Love

She Danced🎭

Out from the mystic shadow, she stepped into the night
clothed in something shimmering that flowed with glistened light.
It stopped my breath and skipped my heart to lock my brain in place
as she walked across the dancing floor with poise of regal grace.

Houselights dimmed. Voices muted. The audience held its breath
which seemed as one eternal gasp prolonged, pulled and stretched.
I heard the finger cymbals clash and break the air with sound.
The music played. She moved a foot. A tremor pulsed the ground.

The rhythm grabbed me, fold and wrapped me in its sultry beat,
igniting blood to reckless boil while riveted to my seat.
I tried to move. I tried to blink. My eyes were locked to stay
‘cause on her belly button, there a jewel did rhythmic sway.

Hypnotic twinkling glints of light did mesmerize my core.
Her toes, bejeweled with gems of flash, danced upon the floor
and when she twirled and came to stop our eyes electric met.
The jewel dislodged. It leaped from her and landed on my chest.

Stunned, I was! My legs rose up. She watched from where she stood
as the jewel began to float my feet across the floor of wood.
She grabbed my waist. She touched my hand and I was hers at last.
I didn’t hear the audience clap. I only heard my gasp.

Magic, witchcraft, tricks of sorcery! Who cares what was in play!
She made me beam. I fell in love and married her anyway.
And on the nights we kiss the light which pulls us both entranced,
we glance the jewel and laugh and sing and dance! dance! dance!

Namyh

Reviews

[Bear]

Critique: ( she walked across the dancing floor with poise of regal grace) the poise - The noun phrase "poise" is missing a determiner before it
(igniting blood to reckless boil) to a reckless - The noun phrase "reckless boil" is also missing a determiner before it.

Review: Nice rhyme scheme and your word choices show you are intelligent and have a talent at expressing your self as well as weaving a story. It was a pleasure to read, I enjoyed the metaphysical implications as well as the last stanza for the happy ending without making it feel forced as happens with many happy ending. Standing Ovation! I give it five out of five Clap! Clap! Clap! Clap! Clap!

[Namyh]

Ahh Bear - At first this was written with the "determiners". I intentionally removed them because they threw off the rhythm of the story while fortunately not subtracting from its meaning. I want to thank you for enjoying the story weaving, the metaphysical implications and the delivery of 5 claps. Thanks Bear for the claps. I definitely don't want a cure and you've made my day. LOL. Namyh

[Lorry]

....and then the audience stood as one, applauded and shouted "Bravo." :)
This flows like honey to the ears of the reader and well.....Damn, it's faultless. There is no better feeling as a writer than when you complete a piece, look at it as a whole and smile a big a*s grin, knowing you have done the best job possible. If I had written this, I'd have torn my face grinning. Awesome job.

[Namyh]

Nemonomore - Surprisingly this stayed half finished for weeks. You should have seen the rewrites and revisions when I finally returned to it. But you're right! I did put a lot into this one and it did result in "a big a*s grin" which I'm told requires medical consultation to remove it. LOL. Your words have been very infectious and I don't want a cure. Thanks Nemonomore. Namyh
P.S. - Love that name.

[Coyote Poetry]

Beautiful. Amazing use of words. You create good visions with your powerful description. I liked the tone and the energy of the words. Thank you Namyh for sharing the outstanding poetry.
Coyote

[Namyh]

CoyoteP - I was watching “Dancing with the Stars” and was fascinated with the physical demands of the routines and the sore muscles they caused. It was just the right combination of inspiration and perspiration to spur the creativity of this old poet who had a ‘dancing poem’ idea already in mind at the time. Now I’m starting to sweat again and I can’t find my Holiday Inn towel anywhere. LOL. Thanks Coyote Poetry for enjoying the vision, the description, the energy and for your wonderful words. Namyh

[Coyote Poetry]

You are welcome. When the dance is perfect. It is poetry.

[Bala Gorthi]

The eloquence with which the write speaks holds our breath. Such a poetry is rare today. I struggle to produce even two verses of this detail.
Amazing description and magical flow! Thank you for this wonderful poetry.

[Namyh]

BalaG - Now you got me holding MY breath and your wonderful words have got me dancing, which at my age if its for more than 2 minutes you better call the paramedics and tell them to bring extra oxygen. So very happy you enjoyed the description and the flow and thanks for stopping by Bala. Namyh

[Ana Papaya]

Enchanting tale. I really enjoyed every bit of this.
Really wonderful imagery. Magic, mystery, charm and romance... all woven together so beautifully.

[Namyh]

Ana - No poet is elevated higher than when "every bit" of a created work's imagery, magic, charm and romance enchants its reader. You've made my head swell with your words and now I gotta get a bigger hat. Thanks Ana for really enjoying this. Namyh

[Ana Papaya]

You're welcome.
I hope the swelling goes down. :)

[OneAmongstMany]

Wow, this is really beautiful. Powerful imagery, vibrant language. I especially loved the last stanza. This was a real pleasure to read. More please!

[Namyh]

OneAmongstMany - Makes this old poet might proud to inject a little beauty, imagery and vibrant language into your day. This stayed half completed a long time. Now I'm kinda glad I finished it. Your words uplift. Thanks HH.