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Vanishing leaves

Vanishing leaves

A Poem by Moon's fairest daughter
"

~Sonnet~

"
When the stately roads, so flat, clean, and plain
shall be sweeped away by some future race,
And them ladies with red nails would complain
that there's no manicure for us these days.
When creatures from far off galaxies would
capture our Earth in their big, silver crafts,
you will come to me, my love, and will brood
'bout our future in these war-striken shafts.
Then you would sigh aloud and say to me,
"My darling, the leaves are vanishing fast.
Let's run away from here, let the world be
damaged and hollowed till this war shall last."
Then I would laugh and reply that my love
oft have I sent such pleas to the man 'bove.


© 2016 Moon's fairest daughter



Author's Note

Moon's fairest daughter
A modern twist to this age old style of poetry...

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Featured Review

this is very deep and intricate. you touch on nature, god, man, the future, love and hate and knit them all together beautifully while telling a story. I also sense a sly sense of humor. this is a very complex write. you have a wonderfully vivid, sharp, creative mind. Touches on so many levels. Amazing work. very talented.

Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

WOW! I love the way you've expressed such ground-breaking ideas in the sonnet form.
You certainly, through awareness and skill, have revived the sonnet as a poetic form. And in your poem, you stay relevant to our modern present condition and future ramification, and you add a sense of humour,
'And them ladies with red nails would complain
that there's no manicure for us these days.'
Yet the sense of humour does not detract our focus from the seriousness of the matter of human survival you depict so masterfully.
From start, middle and end, the poem flows flawlessly. And the subject matter is so uniquely expressed.
I love poetry and read ancient and modern poetry.
I also try to experiment with older forms such as the sonnet; but I still haven't written a sonnet.

Your poem here I will add to my favourite to read list.

WELL DONE!!

Posted 6 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Moon's fairest daughter

6 Months Ago

Thank you so much for this awesome review! You exactly understood what i wanted to convey !
What a brilliant dance of ancient forms aroused into the modern voice to dance. Your words gave me the feeling of threads weaving two souls together across time, of sacred cries to bring an end to the wildness of wars, of a world slowly fading away. Sighing and letting the leaves fall across my mind.

Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Moon's fairest daughter

1 Year Ago

Thank you very much for this kind and gracious review! :)
Lovely lyrical write encompassing the old and the new. No manicure ...ha like the lightness of that and the contrast with war and foreboding.

Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Beautiful. From your choice of words to their meaning and connotation. Beautiful.

Posted 1 Year Ago


this is very deep and intricate. you touch on nature, god, man, the future, love and hate and knit them all together beautifully while telling a story. I also sense a sly sense of humor. this is a very complex write. you have a wonderfully vivid, sharp, creative mind. Touches on so many levels. Amazing work. very talented.

Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

It's modern, but you let the old form shine. I would put a comma after 'that" and "love" in the second to last line (like you did in the seventh line). I like the comedy of the ladies with red nails between the destruction by a future race and the arrival of aliens. Lovely title and a nice metaphor.

Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Well penned. :D

Posted 1 Year Ago


Wow, this is fabulous, yes we're destructive, there'll be no leaves sooner than we know, forget about red nail polish! :)

Posted 1 Year Ago


Awesome write. Excellent wording and display. I'm glad I took the time to read your works. I really enjoyed the imagery and style.

Keep up the great work and thanks for sharing.

~Rob~

Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Moon's fairest daughter

1 Year Ago

Thank you so much, bohrium guy! I'm glad you liked it! :)))
sweet write, Glorious Moon.
when the leaves vanish, can't we wait for the next autumn and the new fallen ones? just wondering.

Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Moon's fairest daughter

1 Year Ago

Thanks, woody!! It feels so good to see your review!
I wanted the vanishing leaves to symboli.. read more
Woody

1 Year Ago

yes I more or less got that
and thanks :)

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19 Reviews
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Shelved in 1 Library
Added on May 28, 2016
Last Updated on June 3, 2016
Tags: sonnet, love, aliens, spacecraft, future, romantic

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Moon's fairest daughter
Moon's fairest daughter

About
If you're a dreamer, come in If you're a dreamer, a wisher, a liar A hope er, a pray-er, a magic bean buyer, If you're a pretender, come sit by my fire For we have some flax-golden tales to spin .. more..

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