Wayward Gypsy

Wayward Gypsy

A Poem by Moon's fairest daughter

Her Moon was a gold painted 
tassle strung...
And her Sun was a bold
mesh of reds...
Soft, dark hands with
tinted nails,
moved in a
strange snake dance,
above her head,
as she swirled
around the graves
to the music of her tinkling silver anklets....

Her skies were always pastel,
wound with peach silk threads...
She danced as the musk-laden wind blew,
as the dust rose, and enveloped the grass beds...

Her songs were sad, sad verses
and her music
was the chorus of the dead 
branches over sand....
Her breaths--measured and counted
in cinnamon sticks
and coconut milk....
Her eyes were green, green lamps
           ......Luminous
And her hair--
the color of sun-baked bricks.

© 2017 Moon's fairest daughter



Author's Note

Moon's fairest daughter
Halloween's long gone...but I wanted to write a piece with a subtle scary undertone...
This one's still in the editing process...suggestions are welcome! :))

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Featured Review

I agree with John that this doesn't seem scary or even haunting, but I do like the light touches of macabre imagery used. This could even be pumped up a little more, for example in line 4, instead of "reds" you could use "blood" or something with a tie-in to your last line with brick-red hair. This whole "red" theme could be pumped up & I felt a little distracted by the pastels in the second-to-last stanza . . . I myself would stick to the color palette of skullduggery with intensely-stated hues of charcoal & blood. Sorry I just was riffing for a minute there. I actually like your poem in its entirety & even the pastels are an unexpected sideroad. I very much enjoy a lovely dancing light poem that has weird shimmers of macabre here & there. Lovely contrasts.

Posted 2 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Moon's fairest daughter

5 Days Ago

Thank you so much for this review... i must say i quite agree with you, that replacement does sound .. read more



Reviews

Moon's Fairest Daughter!

I can't find a shred of improvement among words that take imagination to the mountain's top. A Beauty!

regards,
al

Posted 6 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Moon's fairest daughter

5 Months Ago

Thanks so much, Al!! :* I'm just coming to review your amazing writes!
(Hugs)
Alfred Kukitz

5 Months Ago

and kisses for you beautiful!
MFD,
The nature with its abundant treasures are an item, to be the biggest , which generated the stir inside writers. As an area of consolation it worked as hideout for them ever. The emotions starts with it and diminish with it. So the scars are visible always like above.

enjoy it and recreate it......lucky writers

excellent attempt indeed....
carry on....
really tasted its absolute solitude and rare moments...


mp

Posted 6 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Moon's fairest daughter

5 Months Ago

Thank you, Ramesh! Glad you enjoyed! :))
absolute beauty abounds in each phrase of this lovely poem.. I so liked
Her songs were sad, sad verses

and her music

was the chorus of the dead

branches over sand....

very descriptive and vivid to me..nice work!

Posted 6 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Moon's fairest daughter

5 Months Ago

Thank you so much, ma'am! :))

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420 Views
13 Reviews
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Shelved in 2 Libraries
Added on April 2, 2017
Last Updated on April 2, 2017
Tags: Gypsy, nature, woman

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Moon's fairest daughter
Moon's fairest daughter

About
If you're a dreamer, come in If you're a dreamer, a wisher, a liar A hope er, a pray-er, a magic bean buyer, If you're a pretender, come sit by my fire For we have some flax-golden tales to spin .. more..

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