Silent Promise

Silent Promise

A Poem by Natalie C

Darkened prince of this misty sacred night,

Rise from your shadowy hole  

And welcome your fate.

A broken angel,

Battered and bruised,

Perching upon your nameless tomb

Where you lay buried within your solitude.

Tattered and stained,

Her feet knows no other place

Than standing firmly next to your desolate grave 

 

Wings torn and hacked, 

 She remains,

Protecting your temporary resting place.

Waiting for the day

Promised to her some decades ago.

Holding a heart,

Precious and pure,

As she gently squeezes,

Masterfully draining all the vile of the days gone by

That so painfully sent you to where you are lying today.

    

Patiently she lingers, 

Waiting for her destiny to come true,

As her prince still rests completely oblivious

Of this lone protector of his abandoned grave.

Eyes carved from her skull,

She blindly follows the feelings

That could possibly one day make her whole.

Knowing that someday he would ascend,

Claiming a heart,

She's held dear for so many years.

 

 


© 2008 Natalie C



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Featured Review

this is a poem... how one would wish to get rescued... and get free of all her nightmares..she is waiting for

the one....who can phase her.....and make her whole... "She blindly follows the feelings / That could possibly

one day make her whole. " ------I loved this part! He will deliver her from danger! thank you darling for reading my new poem Rosetta Stone .....

love u, lara.

Posted 9 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

Chuck Palahniuk (of Fight Club fame) once told me the most important part of writing is telling your story. This is just a little critique, but I agree with him- fancy fonts only hinder the reader from getting the story. I had a little bit of trouble reading it based solely on the font. Just something to keep in mind :) On with the review:

I thoroughly enjoyed it. The imagery, progression, and word choice all...worked. It was slightly...macabre, but not dark? You painted an excellent picture with your words. Almost ended on a "positive" note with her having some hope of freedom from this "guardian" role. Very intriguing.

Which leads me to another thing: I've noticed quite a few of your pieces end with a picture. Perhaps you are basing your writing on these images, but they also serve to detract from the impact of your piece. Let your words be the backbone of each piece.

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Wow...what a great body of work!
"Wings torn and hacked,
She remains,
Protecting your temporary resting place"

So dark. So beautiful. I love it!


Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

So vivid imagery and so well written. A wonderful piece of work, so beautiful and heartbreaking. An amazing dark love poem.

Posted 9 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.


Powerful. So dark and brooding, yet permeated with the mood of resurrection. Elegantly, romantically elegiac, in a mode I'm inclined to call "GnostiGoth," in its play of spiritual light through the deathly shadows.

Posted 9 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

Great images are conjured up through reading this. Intriguing idea to have a 'darkened prince' being awaited by an broken angel, making the reader think why the prince has become darkened, what battles were fought and what had happened to the angel. Taking this into modern life, I completely agree with Lara's review. The yearning for his heart at the end shows a patient wait which I hope, if you chose to write a second part, is realised.

Brilliant. xxx

Posted 9 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

'Patiently she lingers' seems to be the heart of this poem of destiny. I wonder if we are all quietly waiting for some such salvation, or inspiration? I love the idea of the broken one perching on the wordless stone and of her eyeless following of her fate.

Posted 9 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

this is a poem... how one would wish to get rescued... and get free of all her nightmares..she is waiting for

the one....who can phase her.....and make her whole... "She blindly follows the feelings / That could possibly

one day make her whole. " ------I loved this part! He will deliver her from danger! thank you darling for reading my new poem Rosetta Stone .....

love u, lara.

Posted 9 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

Such Love and Devotion.The light in this poem surely outweghs the dark... Brilliantly beautiful and rare is this faithfullness and fervor!

Posted 9 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

A once dead heart can beat once more, can once again start to feel, even if it has been burned in the fires of hell for ages. A real great write with emotion that once again cuts to ones very soul.
Leran Vakem

Posted 9 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

Beautifully penned, and heart-wrenchingly sad. Her pain is tangible as she waits for him to ascend to the heavens and claim her heart, very well done Natalie.

Posted 9 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.


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12 Reviews
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Added on August 27, 2008
Last Updated on August 27, 2008

Author

Natalie C
Natalie C

South Africa, South Africa



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