Guilty All Along...A Chapter by ZephyrIf you are guilty, accept it!“Go and live with her” I screamed with rage. “But, there’s nothing as you think…..” I never
let him finish as I banged the door shut and walked out. That was the last I have ever heard or seen
from Jim, my husband, the Love of my Life. Well, until yesterday. ………………………………………………………..
The ten years that passed in his absence were
filled with remorse and guilt. Every day I churned with regret. I wanted to
reach out to him but I was afraid. Afraid that he will reject me. Well he had
reasons enough….. I can’t believe I accused him of infidelity.
And that too when he was the best man a lady could ever ask for. I break down every time I rewind our memories.
I hate myself for leaving him overpowered by poisonous doubts. All these years I have been waiting for him.
To return. A second man has never come into my life. But the fact that Jim didn’t even make an
attempt to reach out to me in all these years was reason enough to gauge that
he hated me and wanted me out of his Life. Yet I didn’t hate him. I had made that mistake
once and will never ever repeat it.
……………………………………………………………….. My daily life has become monotonous. The first
two or three years after our breakup (well, if you can call it that) I was an
emotional wreck. I can’t imagine now how I sustained myself then. I did two jobs a day to keep myself going.
Coupled with that was the heavy burden of guilt over my shoulder. Finally but painfully I found my foothold
back. And all that began with a strong trust in God. I became a regular
churchgoer and a dutiful devotee. Whenever I pray, I cry. I cry forgiveness for
everything I have done. I can’t ever forgive myself but I beg forgiveness from
Him. I have a penchant for writing. So I decided to
try my luck in that. But that too was difficult. Whenever I write about
relationships, a sense of uneasiness envelops me. Yet I press on for I never
want others to end up as myself. Well, so far I have written six books and all
have been received well. I finally have a job that fills my tummy.
© 2017 ZephyrAuthor's Note
Reviews
|
Author
Related WritingPeople who liked this story also liked..
|