Acid kills...

Stop Acid Attacks!

The acid he threw on my face had distorted half of it.

I looked grotesque.

I smelled grotesque.

I am grotesque.

All because of him.

“Why did you kill me?”

I snarled at him.

He just stood there frozen.

Unable to speak.

Unable to move.

All because he killed me.

And now I stand in front of him.

Dead- Alive.

“WHY?”

I screamed.

“Because….you….rejected…my…my….Love.”

He stammered out.

His eyes almost bulged out of pure fear.

“Oh! I see... I rejected you right?”

I understood his point of justification.

Of burning my face alive.

“Now I am ready, you know, to love you.”

I suggested with an evil laugh.

After all that’s what he wanted in the first place.

“Nooo! Please! Spare me!”

He pleaded.

My exact words when he spurted the acid all over my face.

He ignored them then.

Bloody Blind Love...

                                                 

 

Author's Note

An individual has her/his own choices and desires.
We can't force anybody to love us.
And if sb rejects our love, what we should do is respect their choice.
What we shouldn't do is go out with a bottle of acid and distort them forever.
Stop acid attacks!
Its a shame.
A shame on humanity.

Reviews

[Ethan]

Okay so nice idea. However, are you familiar with passive voice? Because it pops up a lot here. Passive voice, loosely, is when you don't directly name or identify the object being spoken about in clear and definite terms.
1. So for instance, the opening line of your story:

"The acid he threw on my face had distorted half of it."

--"had distorted half of it" is passive voice. Reword it to say, "He threw the acid, distorting half of my face."

2. "All because of him. Unable to speak. Unable to move. All because he killed me. Of burning my face alive. Bloody Blind Love..."

--These are all, more or less, incomplete sentences. I understand the effect you were going for, but seeing as you leave space between all the lines, inserting commas instead of periods shouldn't affect much.

All in all, nice job, just a few things stand in your way. :)

[Anjali]

Ethan I liked your constructive criticism- it is a way to understand there is more to explore, learn in English. But as Indians we are mostly bilingual and there are many who knows over four languages including English. Mind you all this isn't easy yet we try to keep up with English which serves its purpose as an International language for communication.

[Ethan]

Certainly. However, poetry is more than communication, it's art.

[Anjali]

Well no denying that.

[Zephyr]

Thank you so much Ethan!
I never thought about it like that!
And I would have never understood the defects if you hadn't pointed out!
I will surely rectify the doubts I have and will be careful the next time:)

[Zephyr]

I agree with you dear Anjali:)

[Maria]

Very true, and yet so sad that it even exists now a days as well. Good job

[Zephyr]

Thank you so much Maria:)

[duff]

The absolute violent nature of these type of attacks is numbing and leaves me speechless. I can't imagine. I don't want to. But it's a reality that we cant escape from. Thank you for sharing this.

[Zephyr]

Always a pleasure duff:)

[duff]

Likewise my friend:)

[Kittenincake]

I live in the US and didn't know this was a thing. Absolutely heartbreaking. Thank you for sharing and bringing awareness for such disturbing and disgusting acts. I find it ridiculous that humans would destroy someone's life over rejected marriage proposals, domestic disputes and sexual advances. How hateful. How petty. Your work has brought out much emotion, I think that was the intention. Very nice writing by the way.

“Now I am ready, you know, to love you.” - I love this as it perfectly illustrates the offender's ignorance.

[Zephyr]

Thank you so much Kaliope:)
I agree with you. Its petty and hateful!

[Kittenincake]

I hope it gets better over there :( I cannot fathom that kind of suffering.

[Zephyr]

Acid attacks happen a lot in India.
Today too I read about it in the newspaper!
This story is a figment of my imagination.
Imagination fuelled by reality:)
Surfing through the net will give you a clear idea about this Kaliope:)

[Kittenincake]

I looked it up and found several articles about it. Around 1,000 a year! :(

[Kittenincake]

1,000 acid attacks a year I mean.

[Kittenincake]

Found one article where a man was jealous his wife was getting admiring glances and threw acid on her. Are the offenders even prosecuted over there??

[Zephyr]

India is the largest Democracy.
There are several laws punishing such atrocities.
But many make use of the small loopholes in law.
Also many survivors don't complain about it.
Illiteracy and ignorance play their roles here.
People have to be educated Kaliope:)

[Kittenincake]

Thank you for clearing that up. One of the articles I read said nothing was being done at all, which deeply concerned me. Why do people stay quiet about it, out of fear?

[Zephyr]

Fear, illiteracy, ignorance all play a role.
Today I read an article about a rape victim who survived four acid attacks!!
Though we can't say nothing is being done about it.
The problem is that people have to change their mindset first.
This I believe no governmental measure can do.

[Zephyr]

Sorry for the late reply Kaliope:(
Connection error.

[Kittenincake]

I can't believe it's so common. It's essentially attempted murder.

[Zephyr]

Yes. it is.
But reality is real!

[Abhishek Asthana]

thats been always a sad part to know that we still live in a society where few unsocial elements don't have the right to be called as humans... my heart really fluctuates whenever i hear any of these cases... nicely penned... really appreciate

[Anjali]

I appreciate your will to write about acid attacks that is often so common in India- and reason you cite here is true to the core. A mere rejection of a proposal by a boy/man could result into being an acid attack victim (survivor I would say). To add to all the woes of physical pain the society does nothing more than contributing to mental harass of the already suffering fellow human being.

[Coyote Poetry]

The poem is real life and I don't understand. You are right. A shame on society. Powerful and needed written words. A powerful poem needed to be read by more people.
Coyote

[Joey Nizz]

Such a strong message, it is very touching and sad but made me smile in the end because it was such an amazing piece that I have read!

Thank you for sharing Neetha! ^^

[Wajiha Nayeem]

wonderful and a touching message..you r true..it's a shame...it's a disgrace!
keep writing .

[Jessica Lima]

Its beautiful to see someone write for a stronger reason than just to write. This opened my eyes and kept my interest. Very good story telling technique.