Acid kills...

Stop Acid Attacks!

The acid he threw on my face had distorted half of it.

I looked grotesque.

I smelled grotesque.

I am grotesque.

All because of him.

“Why did you kill me?”

I snarled at him.

He just stood there frozen.

Unable to speak.

Unable to move.

All because he killed me.

And now I stand in front of him.

Dead- Alive.

“WHY?”

I screamed.

“Because….you….rejected…my…my….Love.”

He stammered out.

His eyes almost bulged out of pure fear.

“Oh! I see... I rejected you right?”

I understood his point of justification.

Of burning my face alive.

“Now I am ready, you know, to love you.”

I suggested with an evil laugh.

After all that’s what he wanted in the first place.

“Nooo! Please! Spare me!”

He pleaded.

My exact words when he spurted the acid all over my face.

He ignored them then.

Bloody Blind Love...

                                                 

 

Author's Note

An individual has her/his own choices and desires.
We can't force anybody to love us.
And if sb rejects our love, what we should do is respect their choice.
What we shouldn't do is go out with a bottle of acid and distort them forever.
Stop acid attacks!
Its a shame.
A shame on humanity.

Reviews

[Ethan]

Okay so nice idea. However, are you familiar with passive voice? Because it pops up a lot here. Passive voice, loosely, is when you don't directly name or identify the object being spoken about in clear and definite terms.
1. So for instance, the opening line of your story:

"The acid he threw on my face had distorted half of it."

--"had distorted half of it" is passive voice. Reword it to say, "He threw the acid, distorting half of my face."

2. "All because of him. Unable to speak. Unable to move. All because he killed me. Of burning my face alive. Bloody Blind Love..."

--These are all, more or less, incomplete sentences. I understand the effect you were going for, but seeing as you leave space between all the lines, inserting commas instead of periods shouldn't affect much.

All in all, nice job, just a few things stand in your way. :)

[Anjali]

Ethan I liked your constructive criticism- it is a way to understand there is more to explore, learn in English. But as Indians we are mostly bilingual and there are many who knows over four languages including English. Mind you all this isn't easy yet we try to keep up with English which serves its purpose as an International language for communication.

[Ethan]

Certainly. However, poetry is more than communication, it's art.

[Anjali]

Well no denying that.

[Zephyr]

Thank you so much Ethan!
I never thought about it like that!
And I would have never understood the defects if you hadn't pointed out!
I will surely rectify the doubts I have and will be careful the next time:)

[Zephyr]

I agree with you dear Anjali:)

[Avinash]

This is a burning issue which needs everyone's not just attention but involvement too, be it parents, governments, schools and overall culture system which allows boys to get away whatever they want.
The first place is home.

[Mr.Writer]

I agree! We should stop these acid attacks!
Well written Neetha, great job!
Keep it up!

[wordman]

well i hope this is just a figment of your imagination and not true

[Bear]

I like your horror story, twisted love stories are the only kind of romance stories I like. The twists and turns are sufficient enough to leave your readers feeling like you took them on an amusement ride. Very well done my friend. Clap! Clap! Clap! Clap! Clap!

[Surya]

Yep I agree...every individual has their own choice and we all are equal...So your message should be spread...I loved it...

[Priyanshi]

Very well written, Neetha...as Najam says you really convey a strong message....keep it up.

[Najam Us Saher]

Strong message is nicely conveyed. Great work. I really liked that you decided to write on such a serious issue.

[Annette Pisano-Higley]

Wow, Neetha this is such a powerful poem that brings to light a horribly abusive act against women. You are very brave to give your poetic voice to the victims of such abuse. Very effective use of the style of conversation between victim and abuser, that well-expresses the cowardice and narcissism of the abuser. A great warning to women to recognize dangers, preserve and stand up for their safety, and to not be fooled by "Bloody, Blind Love" of potential abusers. Great poem. Thank you for this.

[Sofia]

Woah! Another interesting and filled - with - morality story... I'm really in love with the font..your stories always have a lovely message with them and that's what makes them extraordinary...I loved it...the way you displayed your concern for these people is so wonderful...keep writing! Will wait for another intriguing and moral story..bye for the time being :)

[Zephyr]

Haha...
Thank you soo much sissy;)

[Sofia]

You're welcome my siso :)