When Gravity Succeeds Me

If a tree falls in the forest? What is the sound of one hand clapping? Questions that take a lifetime to answer.

Can the sun miss the moon?

The sun radiates in chaotic turmoil

While the moon dances with the earth

On an ebony stage in and out of the spotlight

The spotlight...the eye of the sun.

Burns the flesh of the moon

Yet it has been millions of years

Since the two might have touched

Past lives of angels and muses

When forms were strangely beautiful

A universe inside a marble rolling around

Then as if hit by a hammer transformed

Separating, creating, mixtures of lost familiarity

Residual memory, forgotten fantasy

Or just a hopeful speculation

A dream...of distant longing.

If I am the sun...

If you are the moon...

Then let not gravity be a fantasy

Instead invite its power to pull us together

So that there will be no more need for questions....

Reviews

[MoriartyMesa]

I found the whole piece to be something every person should question.




Nice Job



kid

[Astro]

Metaphorically, or stylistically? lol. Thanks MM.

[Troy Henson]

Great write Astro. Fantastic imagery with this one. A balanced tone through out made this for me.

If I am the sun...
If you are the moon...
Then let not gravity be a fantasy
Instead invite its power to pull us together


So that there will be no more need for questions....


Just perfect this finsish. The idea of differences being being met with agreed resolution. Wonderful.

Regards
Troy

[Astro]

Well thanks again for such a kind review Troy, glad you enjoyed it. I wasn't quite going for a concept about differences being overcome by an agreed resolution as much as I was trying to describe an obstacle that would keep two beings apart and also, how like the sun and the moon that there might have been a time and place where they were once together, lastly I was begging that some force like gravity could do away with any obstacles so that they could finally be together. If that makes sense(I've just returned from a weekend of partying in the Kootenay's so, my mind is a bit scrambled. Regardless, that is what is so good about poetry, any one should be able to read it and gain some understanding and appreciation, so I'm flattered that you read that in my writing. Thanks for reading and reviewing.

[Troy Henson]

No worries my friend. I have put together a few new ones you mighty find good:)

[Astro]

Well just add them to the pile I'm going to have to tackle now that I am back from camping.

[Glen Yumang Manese]

I see you try to grip the reader with this write... and the last stanza sticks out the most... the idea of wonder and the events which even a blink of light years would be speculative at best... Questions are what drive the force to keep going... No need of answers... they are unfolding right before your eyes...

[Astro]

If you are paying attention they are, but some people are walking in their sleep and don't make the connection. Thanks again for the thoughtful review.

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

Past lives of angels and muses
When forms were strangely beautiful
A universe inside a marble rolling around
Then as if hit by a hammer transformed

---first this stanza...beautiful. "of angels and muses", because where else could any of these questions be answered except from their lips? I love the idea of "past lives" brought in here, and carried throughout the piece in such a way as to examine the idea that perhaps we have all been here before.

Separating, creating, mixtures of lost familiarity
Residual memory, forgotten fantasy
Or just a hopeful speculation
A dream...of distant longing.

-- next this stanza -- You bring in the idea of "residual memory", which I completely think is a reality. I believe that we are imprinted with residual memories of lives that we have lived, places and people who we have been...before. This is the constant searching...two halves that were split by the gods in their jealousy ever attempting to reunite with their "soul mates".

Finall, the final stanza...this is your heartsong..."If i am the sun.../If you are the moon.../Then let not gravity be a fantasy" --truly loved these lines.

There is a lot to latch onto in this piece, my friend. You have spoken honest words, beautiful words with a clarity of thought and intent. I think this is a favorite of mine from you. Well done.

[Astro]

Well it is worth my every effort to impress upon the likes of yourself my vision in the clearest of ways. I am thankful that this one could find it's way into one of your favorites and that you were so forced, to dissect it and give such an honest retelling of how you connected with it. Thank you so much. :D

[ayosonolowo]

Nice poem palx
really interesting to read
nice job
please keep it up

[Astro]

I shall, and thank you for the kind review.

[ayosonolowo]

You're welcome