Something's wrong with the world

A poem about modern society....

Have you ever seen a world so dark,
that keeps you in there and never lets go,
people are yelling "please,all i want to is to say hello"

The world is full of loneliness and agony,
only those who accepts the pain survive
nobody talks, nobody feels,
there is only whisper and fear...
Whisper,"that someday the sun will come and take all away"
Fear "that this abyss will only be just another replay"

Author's Note

While hearing at the radio Aerosmith's songs "Living on the edge" and with the help of some bourbon, I've made something (hope is good? not? maybe? who knows? )

"There's something right with the world today
And everybody knows it's wrong
But we can tell 'em no or we could let it go
But I would rather be a hanging on"

Reviews

[Robbie~xoxo~]

Great write, accompanied with bourbon thoughts. :)
I love the song, by the way... This piece has a wonderful message within the lines...
I have social anxieties and have a hard time being around a group of people, for some reason... funny how a chatterbox like me ever got to this place. But it happens to the best of us... Maybe we should open the door when someone knocks...let a good friend into your heart. Loved this!

[Nick.B]

Thank you for taking the time to read my poem and for the review, I appreciate it

[marie]

this is so sad such a bleak look at the future..

[Nick.B]

Thanks for taking the time...I appreciate it

[marie]

no problem, i pray your views can be brightened in the future though:)

[Androglossia]

Your poem is very powerful and dark. It conveys of a place of suffering, expiation and remorse. They say we can only reach the place following death in which our souls undergo the temporal punishment before entering eternity. Little did we know that the world is gradually transforming into a purgatory. Could it be because purgatory is a little too crowded now? Or is it because purgatory has been redesigned to open its doors for the living worthy enough to receive its wrath?

[Nick.B]

Thanks for taking the time for reviewing and for reading it....I appreciate, glad you could see the world how it is written here...thanks again

[Androglossia]

You're very welcome:)

[patti]

this is very thoughtful and powerful poem, it conveys the fears people have but are too scared to do something about it. The society is changing but for the worse rather than better, we are trapped in this bubble of loneliness. Amazing poem, nice work!

[Nick.B]

Thanks, I appreciate it

[Jack...]

You can't help yourself from falling...very cool Nick and expresses what a lot of us feel

[Nick.B]

Thank you, I appreciate it

[Storm K.]

This is a very dark, thoughtful poem. I love the song that accompanies it, but I feel like the poem isn't complete somehow? It seems more like thoughts you were having that you decided to write down. Great so far, though, and a very thought provoking, attention grabbing beginning. Nice work :)

[Nick.B]

Thanks, I'll try to expand it :D, thanks for taking the time

[Cara]

i have to be honest, the song scared me when it started, I was reading and suddenly the music started lol I was like "OMG!!! what the hell did I do???" I'm just laughing at my self
but really I loved the song .an amazing poem and an amazing song too, totally fits
really great thank you for sharing

[Nick.B]

Ha, yeah sorry about that, didn't mean to scare you, thanks for the review

[Cara]

hehehe no. don't be really
loved the song, and it is not scary at all, but i didn't know about it that's it :D
really great poem by the way ^-^

[Salar Majak]

this is OFFICIALLY my favorite poem today!!!!! and it's the third time i hear this song these last minutes XD i love it!
you are so right!, nothing is right anymore, and every body feels numb, hate spreading faster every moment, war consuming humanity, it's scary
great poem

[Nick.B]

Thank you, glad you like it

[Trigorin]

Not bad. Your inspiration is fairly clear and while I feel like this is somewhat incomplete as it is, there's definitely room to grow. I'd suggest thinking about expanding this, as currently the ending comes across as a little abrupt and overall the length isn't really satisfying.

[Nick.B]

Thanks for taking the time, I'll try to expend it