Death is At Your Doorstep

For the 'Phobia' contest.

 

He’s at your doorstep,

Don’t let him inside!

He might make a deal

That you’ll regret for life,

And then it’ll take a turn

For the worst, the fear in  

The back of your mind

Arising to the next level

Of the Grim Reaper’s silly, little games.

Trying to pull you away from the door,

I shudder and think about the last time

You’ll ever see the next morning

To wake up to ever again

In the simple life you would be living…

Until the Grim Reaper took you soul.

 

Author's Note

I've never had a near death experience, but I just fear it. I also fear surgeries, but not as much as death. I just don't like the thought of not waking up to the next morning in my life. It scares me. And sorry about the sentences being small and then bigger. O.o" And does the last part make sense? I'm not sure... I feel this is ok, but not just right?

Reviews

[Tania Leigh]

Thanatophobia (the fear of death or dying, also known as Necrophobia).

I believe that the scariest thing about dying is that we don't know how or when it will happen. It is something that is inevitable and out of our control. Your fear of surgeries (Tomophobia) is probably tied in with your fear of death....something that, in the worst case scenario, could lead to it.

I think a reason you might not feel quite right about the last part of this poem is because at one point you switched points of view:

"I shudder and think about the last time
You'll ever see the next morning "

The poem was written with "you" and then switched to "I"..........other than that, I totally get the message here. If you are uncomfortable with the uneven line structure, you could always try prose form.

It's a good write --- thank you for entering the contest :-)

[Alex Hutchinson]

The poem feels a little forced. Like you were trying too hard to fit it into a category. You need to work on your choice of words and images. Keep trying, don't give up.