The Zombie Checklist

For the contest Listography.

Number one, a shot gun. 
Sure, guns don't last a long time, 

But this is the top of the line, 
Being able to shoot anybody's head off, 
Zombie or no zombie. 
It'll splatter your brain to the ground. 

A M1 carbine will also work too. 

Number two, a blade. 

They last longer than guns
And are way more fun to carry around,
Being able to chop a zombie's head off

No matter what you do. 
But have a hostler and a towel

For the blade. I'm sure you wouldn't 

Want to be infected by any zombie blood. 

Number three, a safer place than a safe place. 

There's always a safe place, but you want 

To make sure it's safer than the safest of all places. 
You want to be protected and have lots of time 

To reboot and reload everything and yourself. 

Put the intelligence  of the non-infected 

And how you're going to survive any longer

Always the first or second thing on your mind. 

Having a huge vehicle is next on the list. 

Number four, the vehicle. 

It has to be huge, huge, huge!

Well, as huge as you can get it to be. 
When going into an infected area
That's swarmed by zombies, 

It's always smart to keep this quote in mind:
The bigger, the better. 

It's no exaggeration after about 

Half the world is crawling with the living dead. 

So if you're going to go and fight a few, 
Then run them over with your big vehicle 

And your monster truck wheels. 
Vroom,vroooom! 

Number five, the non-infected. 
Or with the likely term of it, humans. 

Stay in groups, stay together. 
You won't be able to survive alone,
Even if you like to go all solo. 

You'll be the first meal 

On a zombie's list, 
And most likely not survive
That long, even with your cardio in check. 

So stay in groups, stay together. 
You won't regret it once you
Find somebody that doesn't go,

"Urgh,ack, gargle gargle,AAARRG." 

Without blood spitting out in your face. 

Number six, food, water,and warmth. 

The necessities in life,but also 

The most common and most needed
Besides your guns and blades.

You can go weeks without food or water,
But only three hours without the warmth. 

I know I said food and water, but 

If you don't want to go as hungry 

As a zombie does when it craves for your flesh,

Then I suggest taking as much food as you can

At any safe place you stop at and go to,

Hoping to the time god that you'll be able

To find a decent blanket in there too. 

Number seven, don't make loud noises.
You'll a red dot in the middle of a target

And the x on the map. Those monsters

Are attracted to sounds, having

Ten times the hearing that humans and animals do. 

So keep quite and SHUT UP at night. 
You want to keep under the zb-radar 

As long as you want to; to keep safe, to be protected.

Your life and group members will thank you for it later on. 

Number eight, double tap. 

 Thank the world of Zombieland 

For being brilliant thinkers! 

I would have never checked twice

To see if a zombie was dead. 
But double tap, double whack

If you're under doubt that a zombie
Is yet indeed dead for sure. 

Aim for the vulnerable places, 
And tap the living dead 
With your foot to make sure

They're really dead to the ground. 

You'll be happy once you do. 

Number nine, the head. 
It's lain and simple, it's the weakest spot to hit! 

So shoot some lead or whack the top off clean

With your blade, and see that zombie stop in its tracks.
That will leave you with a grin and a relief on

Your shoulders that you knew about this

Simple, little fact. Even if you haven't 

Played the games or watched any movie on zombies,

You'd find out sooner or later that it's the weakest link

To the infested, disgusting population overtaking the planet Earth. 

Number ten, SO LONG!

You're on your own now,

You don't need this voice in your head

To be a rerun of what you need to know.
I'm sure by now, you've got this list

Checked twice and even more and more. 

So be safe and happy hunting for 
The crazies that like to hunt the living dead. 

I'm sure some people would be damn proud. 

Author's Note

The contest:
http://www.writerscafe.org/contests/Listography/9911/

It's just your normal, zombie checklist that's stored in your mind.
All the general things are covered, I hope. ;D
I found this kind of humorous for some reason...
This was kind of experimental for me, and it was fun.
Zb means zombie.

Reviews

[Sean M. Addams]

i liked this alot a very interesting piece and very clever... overall nice work...a very creative write on zombies:)

[Hippy]

i always wanted a zombie apocolypse to happen that would be so awsome

[HorrorMaster]

Amazing zombie poem. Very good :)