Insane

Insane

A Poem by Jade-UH

Sitting in this room
Nothing left to do
Every minute passing by
Just a moment in time
 
Losing every bit
Starting to throw a fit
The nurse is coming in
With nothing but a grin
 
Something in her hand
Wonder what she's planned
Is it for me she brings
A trinket of things
 
A slight pinch I feel
It's so unreal
The sleep it brings
No one to here my screams

© 2010 Jade-UH


My Review

Would you like to review this Poem?
Login | Register




Reviews

I first want to ask you what happened to you? I'm just curious, I do like how the poem leaves it up to the reader to decide what happened to you, but I still want to know the true answer, if it's ok with you. I feel that when you are trying to create a rhyming, it feels like you're forcing the poem to rhyme, instead of just letting it flow. I think you are loosing the meaning of the poem because you are only focusing on the rhyming, not the emotion. However, I do like the ending line of the poem a lot.
I really hope that helped you.
Love,
Chaos Rain.

Posted 13 Years Ago



Share This
Email
Facebook
Twitter
Request Read Request
Add to Library My Library
Subscribe Subscribe


Stats

405 Views
1 Review
Rating
Added on July 14, 2010
Last Updated on July 21, 2010
Tags: insane, mental, hospital, lost

Author

Jade-UH
Jade-UH

My Room, IN



About
Hello, I'm Jade. I'm 18. I write on and off because I'm a stream of conscious writer, and I'm generally only good when my emotions are at their peak. It's been a good outlet for me over the years. I .. more..

Writing