Fooling the Feelings

Just a dream that I'm trying to piece together...

We were having fun, enjoying ourselves with little illegal things.

We were dancing around the fire, holding hands and laughing a little too loud.

Sweating from standing too close

                        Blood running from playful scratches on the arms 

              & Tears of laughter and drunken joy

 

You walked me home with your hand in mine

And cautious intentions in mind

You stopped me then, pain and desire in your eyes

Sweating from being near me

                         Blood running through your veins, feeding your heart

               & Tears of hope welling in your eyes

 

Like in a fairy tale you took my face in your hands

Looked down at me and kissed me, uncertainly

Sweating from your nervous feelings

                         Blood running but then stopping with anxiety

                & Tears of love falling like the rain

 

Your mouth was warm and we were up against each other

We breathed together and loved for a moment

It was not right, I shouldn't be feeling this

Sweating from realization of something gone wrong

                          Blood running and my heart beating from an awful mistake

                 & Tears of pain running down my face and onto yours

 

I was imagining someone else, kissing me so passionately

I was enjoying it because I made myself believe that you were him

& I don't know who I would rather you be right now

All wrong.

&...

Author's Note

I like to imagine that at the end of this piece I've woken up from my dream and wind chimes are ringing softy in the background...

Reviews

[Casper Cross]

You know I read this, reviewed it and went away but something kept nagging at me. I came back read it again and I think there might be something dark and sinister here. It comes from one of the very first lines in the poem:
"We were having fun, enjoying ourselves with little illegal things."
It was this line that I dismissed originally, I figured you meant smoking pot or something like that.
But after I got away from it I began thinking that there could be something else here, that I skipped over completely.
I think this narrator could either be a young girl, or a young boy and the relationship described in the piece could be one with a much older man or older woman.
I don't think that was your intent, but it did give me reason to think about it and opened up all kinds of new possibilities. That's what good writing does.

[Lonely Gurl]

I like it 100

[Scarlett Willows]

you're to great at everything.
i typed my rating at 1000000000000000 and it said error make it 100 or less. ):

[Comlette]

This is very good Sarah. I love the way that all of your work paints a picture in my head. I especially like this story because it has an abundance of power and emotions.

[Christine]

Gosh, I love your writing. I aspire to write like you. I love how personal this seems, and I love the repeated part. Keep up the amazing work (:

[Cierra Scott]

This is beautiful, and sad. I love it though!

[bre]

I think this poem is awesomely amazing, I can picture the two at a bonfire or something of the sort, dancing, drinking, and having fun, he walks her home, kisses her, he is sure about his feelings but maybe not so much hers. It's sad, but almost every girl can relate. nice write =]

bre

[f**k you]

wow, this is very good Sarah. I really enjoy the format and the repeating of the last lines in each stanza. Spelling errors, but that is okie dokie :) I'm putting this in my library, I really enjoyed it.