I love the concept, and agree with pretty much everything you said. One thing though, the rythmn is off. Some parts it flows really smoothly and you start to get really into it, then it just breaks and (as a reader) your train of thought starts getting a bit shaky.
Honestly though, just try fix up the rythmn and it'll be perfect. Alternatively, if you feel that to change the rythmn would mean taking out some important things that you had to say, try rewrite this as an article.
Anyway, as I said, it really is very well written, very articulate and definately eye-opening.
I love the concept, and agree with pretty much everything you said. One thing though, the rythmn is off. Some parts it flows really smoothly and you start to get really into it, then it just breaks and (as a reader) your train of thought starts getting a bit shaky.
Honestly though, just try fix up the rythmn and it'll be perfect. Alternatively, if you feel that to change the rythmn would mean taking out some important things that you had to say, try rewrite this as an article.
Anyway, as I said, it really is very well written, very articulate and definately eye-opening.
I'm a wannabe singer/songwriter with a heart of gold,
I hope to get a book published within the next year or so.
I want to travel the world writing and singing songs of
hope and truth and freedom a.. more..