Irrevocable

Before I fall asleep
on the last whiff of what I still call
my Saturday night;
Dinner plates dry,
South Park episodes watched over,
And night gazing into the picture
Of a beautiful girl is done;
I will write,
I will write something.

Because they are empowering me by fighting a war, somewhere;
Because they are giving me hope by writing all those books
in war torn, politically scenic landforms;
Because they are sending me love letters from all over the globe
telling me, love is a household emotion, buy it cheap but use it
over and over again.

So I shed anger, lust, greed and envy one last time
Before my eyes close and re-open again.
I sip water , I watch the wall clock
I hear the taxis and the trucks traveling all night long.
I sit amidst the darkness, the kind of darkness amidst all the light
And wonder on past life regression, 'what if' decisions and the girl
who is not lying next to me but should have been.

It's frustrating how little you can change your destiny
You cannot go to sleep and wake up to a morning
You do not want to wake up to.
You cannot process, reprocess , analyze and reanalyze
life, decisions, choices, optimal matrices
solutions, magic numbers and FORTRAN codes.

At most, you can change the flavor of your teas,
Add butter to your dry breads,
And call home a friend who lives the door next to you.

Why are some things irrevocable and
some other things plain irreversible?

© Nothing Personal. February 13, 2011.

Reviews

[roarke]

It is in the little things. Thankfulness is a little thing, yielding contentment's yet undiscovered, providing resolution and seeds of intent and purpose worth recognizing.

Maybe it's like reading between the lines. It's in the writing, it's in the reading. It's in the realization that there's lots more here than words.

[paul]

powerful lines. excellent writing

[.]

. what a fantastic bazooka of a poem ... you are absolutely phenomenal ...

. my personal feeling is that this is a perception ... yes, accidents happen ... but just the other day ... em and i were in a conversation ... we lost our friend sabby to an accident in 2006 ... the three of us are intensely connected to each other ... we lost him because he feel asleep on the wheel and went under a static trailor truck ... we were so weak at that time that we did not know that sabby was getting exploited at work and exhausted ... sabby taught us the meaning of immortal and irreversible ... he's there with us ... a few days ago, i put em's book rack in the living room ... and yesterday night ... we put this crazy popeye soft toy that sabby had gifted em ... on the top rack ... he's leaning on the books ... with his legs sprawled randomly ... as if he just dozed off seconds ago ... and em's favourite colour is red and recently she danced at a corporate event in her company (after choreographing it and what not) ... and so she has a red tie that was used in one of the sequences ... so, our popeye has a red tie ... the knot is loosened and is generally flung in a disorderly way ...

. the problem is that we over estimate either our need for money or our love for our parents ... i mean em and i were going to invest in a poetry web site ... then on t shirts with poetry on them ... only to realize that it's actually the most logical to publish ... even economically speaking ... but this world has mindfkd us into believing otherwise ...

. i actually experience rage when i see two lovers who are with each other but arrive at the conclusion that they cannot live together because of some fkin' family obligation or practical limitation ... bullfkin's**t ... i don't get why you're not with your girl if she loves you and you love her ... i can't think of anything else that can be more urgent or significant or meaningful or precious ... liberate yourself, NP ... lead by example ... inspire change ... and liberate her too ... that's my humble advice to you ... hope you'll accept it ...

[OT]

very nice!! why irreversible hmm well if we were able to alter our actions they'd have no meaning - to flit through life stage by stage and leave our mark - surely it'd be a kismet crime to sweep those footprints away when we decided :p

I really like this poem - the colloquial approach really pays off - there is an underlying frustration - and acquiescence towards the end! second last stanza - how British of you (though you're not I know!)!! haha earl grey it is :p

[Kerry O'Connor]

Because they are sending me love letters from all over the globe
telling me, love is a household emotion, buy it cheap but use it
over and over again...

What an interesting concept, especially the day before the most globally commercialized day of love in the year.