I knew I was dying when you called. I knew I had barely weeks left when you said you wanted to meet. Then came the big news You were supposedly pregnant and I was the father. When on earth did that happen? I thought a millennium had past since we last dated. Back then Men still used to hunt in woods and live in caves savagely eating each other when time came.
If I told you all this, your Catholic sentiments will be hurt. I barely agreed to meet.
The sun did not miss the chance to disappear Horizontal, bull like clouds bellowed past the golf course and winds blew like a s**t-storm of hail and blood It all hurled on my face as I rushed to work.
I remembered how some and perhaps all children were born innocent But they did not choose to stay that way. Some were caught cheating some were mortally punished.
The omen was bad. I met my boss at the bus-stop. That murky bit of time when you know you are working late to avoid meeting your boss and yet , you would meet him and he would stare right at you a terminal stare.
I decided I will drink coffee The sun came up and a girl with beautiful hair asked me out. I told her "Time is limited" If you want grand-kids, tonight is the night" She said she had ovarian cancer. We went out.
I know I had cheated on you. Maybe a couple of times in the past. But not on rainy Thursdays. Not when the amore wasn't with life but with death. But see , I did that too.
God graced me when the rains didn't stop. And you did not call back. All the oncologists were on leave all headed to warm Florida beaches They have seen enough deaths this year already.
I knew October was coming. My dreaded October. I decided to keep dating this girl. And the skies decided to stay murky.
On a October morning, when the sun shone miraculously you dropped unannounced to my house and asked me to marry you. I resigned to my doom.
A war broke in a Middle Eastern country And somewhere else in North Africa. China was shook up by a 8.9 earthquake. Giant tsunami waves rolled up towards the Eastern face of Europe. Australia passed a racial law.
I died on 17th October. They said without much pain. Few came by to the funeral. People decided to cremate me and blow the ashes away. There were few people who attended.
You gave birth to a lovely child. My girlfriend found she was misdiagnosed. They found oil. Miraculously. Stephen Spender got the Noble Peace Prize. I did not see the sun shine that day, of course.
Morbidness runs through this piece. What I especially like about this piece is the narrative power. It is gripping and your way of describing people, places and things is unmatched. Resignation and despair seem to be the leitmotifs here and when redemption does finally arrive, it arrives too late.
BTW NP good finding you again mate.
I really like the idea and although it is morbid it is excellent, although i was a little confused as to the relationships with the two women? Great poem, however, and i liked how you wrote on after you "died". thanks for sharing :)
"Horizontal, bull like clouds bellowed past the golf course"
This line stood out to me the whole time I read. I'm not sure why. Maybe I just really like it. This is a really powerful piece.
. a very dramatic piece of writing, i must say ... the detailing and characterizations are done brilliantly ... i'd say this is a succinct poetic autobiography which is fiction ... it compels the reader in me to engage in a similar trip ... list the facts of my life in a my head ... and take a good look at what i've been upto ... i must add though that i haven't been upto this degree of "no good" ... i like to worship the gods of idealism a bit more ... and the gods of bitterness a bit less ... i think that i was lucky i met my soul mate when i met him ... and even though he has moved on ... he hasn't managed to demolish my understanding of what was ... "he hasn't been able to turn 24 carat gold into costume jewelry in my life -- just by doing so in his life" is how i like to put it ... so, this is a pretty trippy write that sends one into a trip ...
Morbidness runs through this piece. What I especially like about this piece is the narrative power. It is gripping and your way of describing people, places and things is unmatched. Resignation and despair seem to be the leitmotifs here and when redemption does finally arrive, it arrives too late.
BTW NP good finding you again mate.
Posted 1 Year Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
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