The sky's face

The sky's face

A Poem by NotYourChinaDoll
"

Something quick I whipped up for school

"

That light which once lit up her face

Is gone, she's darkened now

 

Covering her million sparkling eyes, the moisture starts to build

She'll hold on until it grows to heavy

 

When at last her strength is gone,

Her tears come gently down 

 

They fall onto my shoulders

And in her tears, I hide my own

© 2010 NotYourChinaDoll


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Reviews

This is beautiful! It has a way of capturing the reader. Who knows, it could be the wonderful presentation of the sequence of events, or the very vivid pictures, or the perfect word choice used to describe the situation. Why don't we just go ahead and say it was all three? Ha ha = ] Fantastic job...I loved it!

Posted 12 Years Ago


Beautiful words and I love the way you mingled 'her' tears with your own. Wonderful imagery. love it.

Posted 13 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

very nice, very powerful

Posted 14 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Again, you capture my own feelings. One of the poems I wrote long ago ends with words that are always on my mind:

They tears I cry
And hold within
Will forever be
The tears for him

Posted 14 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

This is amazing, especially the strong ending.

Posted 14 Years Ago


The opening lines are luminous and the 2nd lines are visionary...
The last lines sow this poem up with a superb sympatico ending,
I can fully relate to.
Thanx for sharing.. NYCD..
LeeLee

Posted 14 Years Ago


oh I agree with mystic soul, your last two lines are very good. They are very telling of your emotions, and that makes for wonderful writing. My husband does a pirate radio poet show in the town where I live with LEE LEE Ryder, I would love to read this next week on the air with your permission.

Posted 14 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

wonderful... i really liked it... although it's short but your intense emotions are clearly visible... the one that i feel like mentioning ..is your ending line.. i really loved the way ended it.... good one...

Posted 14 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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554 Views
8 Reviews
Rating
Shelved in 3 Libraries
Added on November 17, 2009
Last Updated on April 17, 2010

Author

NotYourChinaDoll
NotYourChinaDoll

VA



About
I only write occasionally when inspiration hits. Most my poems are downers because I find that, unfortunately, the sad emotions and experiences are easier to find the words for (as I show in "Elusive .. more..

Writing

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