Flesh Cutters

I wrote this to warn those who are contemplating the consequences of cutting. To warn them about the dangers and consequences of starting, and all of the possibilities that can take place from it.

Pain is beautiful, beautifully cruel. It destroys our body.
But, some of us love it. It cuts us apart and rips us to
pieces, but we love what it does.It's the perfect
destruction.
It's not necessarily the fact that we like to be hurt, that
we like feeling pain. It's not like that for all of us. For
those of us who have chosen a razor blade for our
weapon of destruction, it might be that we crave the
feeling of the cold metal piercing our skin. We crave the
feeling of the blood rolling down our wrists.
Blood is a fascinating thing. It's a thick, coppery tasting
liquid. And it's the main thing keeping us alive. Our
blood, that is easily infected and so easy to take away, is
what keeps us alive.
Some cutters may study their blood as it creeps out of
them and rolls down their arm. It fascinates them,
interests them. We want to know more about it. We want
to know everything. Why this vulnerable thing is what
keeps us alive. How it does it.
We like to watch it. Watch the color change and get
darker as it dries. Why are our veins blue through our
skin, but, when we cut them, this thick, red liquid comes
out? How is that possible? We want to know, but, until
we can figure it out, we just cut our wrists and study
what we see.
We can use a razor blade, a pocket knife, a kitchen knife,
a sewing needle, a pin, there's a lot of things we can use
to let the precious liquid of life out of our body.
Some of us cut ourselves because we're fascinated by it.
Some of us cut because we're depressed or really
stressed out. Maybe because we're extremely worried
about something, or many things. Or maybe we were hurt
mentally. My reason is a little bit different from all of that.
So much pain bottled up inside me, more than there ever
was before, and the feeling of that pain inside my body
was just to much. I wanted to cry, it hurt so much. I
needed something, anything, to help me forget about this
pain and let it all out. And I took comfort in cutting.
I let the pain of the cuts distract me from the mental,
emotional pain I've been feeling for far to long. I closed
my eyes and pretended that the cuts I carved were like
doors. I pretended that all of my thoughts about what hurt
me so much before, every memory and every tear, all of
the emotional pain I felt and everything that had ever hurt
me was being pushed out of me through those doors and
was floating down a little stream of blood on its way out
of my body.
Cutting isn't something that's usually done on a whim of
curiosity to find out what it feels like, or to see what
blood looks like when it's sliding down your arm. Some
people may do that, that's part of how it started for me,
but the majority of us have a reason for it. A little play we
made up to rid ourselves of our troubles.
Everyone who does it has a reason for it, no matter what
the reason may be, there's always a reason behind every
cut. It helps me in a way that's sickening and may sound
sadistic to some people. They don't understand why I
chose to cut my body open, why I choose to make scars
all over my body.
They don't want to understand either. They don't want
me to try and explain why I've done it. They don't want
to know how I can stand the pain of losing precious blood
and scarring my once perfect skin.
They would rather pretend they didn't know about it. They
just pretend and tell themselves that it doesn't happen.
And, if they can't pretend, they avoid me.
They won't look at me, talk to me, or make any sign that
they know I exist. They walk as far away from me as they
can. They act like what I do is some sort of disease, and
that if they associate with me or get to close to me they
might catch it too.
No one can really understand why I do all of this or what
it does for me because they don't take the time to stop
and listen to me try to explain it. And even those who do
try to listen can't understand it, because they haven't
experienced it.
It's the kind of activity you have to experience before you
can understand what the game is about. But, you can't
just jump in for no reason. No matter how small the
reason is, you need to have one for entering the game. A
reason as to why you chose this game out of all the
games available to you. Unless you've experienced it for a
real reason, you will never fully understand why the game
was started.
You can, however, understand how dangerous it can be.
The deeper the cut is, the darker the scar from it is.
Cutting at the inside of your arm, by the inside of your
elbow, hurts less and bleeds more. But, the deeper you
go, the more it hurts, and the more it bleeds.
Cutting at the wrist, the inside by your hand, hurts a lot
more, but bleeds less. The small, shallow cuts hurt a lot
there, and, unless you cut a vein, they don't bleed a
whole lot. Most people never go deep enough to require
stitches. I've tested how far I can go, and I try not to push
the limit to far and mess things up, I don't like hospital
visits.
I'm careful when it comes to this. I know how deep I can
cut without going to far as to lose enough blood that I
pass out. And if there's no one around to stop the
bleeding and take me to the ER for help, I know I could
quite possibly die from losing to much blood.
It's a dangerous game, this is a warning from me to
anyone and everyone who reads this. This is a very
dangerous game, and, if I'm not careful, it's deadly. Once
small mistake in this could end up with me cutting a vein,
or cutting so deep that I can't stop the bleeding in time.
And, if I do that, there's no going back.
Cut to deep in the wrong spot, or cut the wrong spot
entirely, the action most likely would end in death. If
you're going to play this game and you want to live, you
have to be careful.
I can't stress enough how quickly one cut can turn for the
worst and how easily it can end with me accidentally
committing suicide. It's a deadly game not meant to be
discovered by those with a weak heart or a weak
stomach.
I strongly suggest that if you can avoid entering this game
at all, if you can find any alternative activity as opposed to
cutting, take it.
This game is played by far to many people and more are
dying everyday. Only the strong and careful can survive
this game. Some of you may think you're strong enough
to endure the pain and careful enough to never slip up.
But, I can almost guarantee that most of you are not.
I can almost guarantee that most you who are so
confident about how careful you think you always are, and
those of you who start the game without a single worry of
dying, those of you who think like that are usually the first
ones to mess up and die.
You can never be careful enough. And, if you don't have
any worries about it, you're most likely going to mess up
and kill yourself.
In order to be careful in this game you need to have some
worries that make you stop and think about how deep you
plan to cut, and in what spot. Because, if you don't stop
and think, you might go to deep in the wrong spot and
accidentally commit suicide yourself. To be careful enough
in this you have to worry about the consequences.