Shattered Kaleidoscope

“And if I was to show you magic, star-bound?”

whispered on outstretched gaze delving

heaven through a kaleidoscope for two

twisting astral uncertainty to cosmic conviction

mesmerizing my being as only magic could

two souls entwined in fractal moments

of who we could become,

 

Looking beside me,

I was only one

 

Magic scattered,

memories on voracious winds

leaving the sharp pain of fragile glass

an empty tube of shattered dreams

 

Afraid to believe

kaleidoscopes could again contain

something more than delusions

to believe in what is seen
what is felt

Unable to move on

to let this sorrow go

still trying to remember what I had seen

when I believed in a mirage hidden within

Mens vult decipi

An idealist or a fool?

Reviews

[Einstein Noodle]

how does one reconstruct a shattered kaleidoscope? what a fine example of futility! ... kudos for maintaining the metaphor throughout! .. that takes some discipline ;)
the first line confuses me .. the quotes and question mark are difficult to read .. is it from a song or book?
and again .. how does one pick up a whole new beginning .. peer in and turn the tube .. fear and trepidation can invigorate or paralyze ..
thought provoking and well executed poem for me
E.

[Nusquam Esse]

The quotes are not really from anything in particular, more an inner voice which our desires and 'gazes' may lead us with. Yep, definitely difficult to trust yourself to make the right choice, when you have had trust, faith, and hope dashed. I am sure it is but a matter of time... but it is tough getting through those moments. Thank You for reading, I admittedly am not active on here at the moment... :

[Einstein Noodle]

hey Esse! i am glad you are able to peek in now and again .. and your comment brought me back to your poem .. to think about my own kaleidoscope and give it a turn or two as the sun begins to arise ;) happy day to ya'
E.

[Nusquam Esse]

Without shattering your kaleidoscope; perhaps you never would have taken time to appreciate the scenery of a sunrise.

[Einstein Noodle]

yes indeed ... i think you are absolutely right .. when we survive without bitterness or blame .. we appreciate more ... live in a more compassionate and unrushed world ..
E.

[AprilRN1210]

I admit, it took me a while to review this one.. it hit me on several levels and wasn't sure exactly how to express what was racing through my head and my heart.. I will say that it was powerful.. you ended it where a lot of us have wandered and still wonder.. not exactly sure of the answer.. still ask myself that.. perception is a funny thing, and can have us thinking back on memories questioning if what we interpreted to be reality really was what happened.. and then fear kicks in.. fear of the same pain, fear of not trying.. fear.. fear... that is a demon that I haven't been able to shake myself.. not only is this amazing writing as usual, it has such a depth of emotion that is affecting and beautiful..

[Nusquam Esse]

Thanks for reading, I am glad that this one could convey such emotional depth--something which is not something my writing always has. I think the answer just lies in time; if nothing else, things become clear as you reach the end. Hindsight is funny that way...

[Rene Salinas]

Welcome back! and what a peice! The emotion unraveled through the words is enticing to say the least.

What came to me is the realazation that you can have the rainbow of colours in front of you a world of possibilities but in the end all you can do is your best and it is such a "grain of salt" among the dunes of sand that finally removed from all you don't need any longer you come to a conclusion:

If i was to go today at least let me do it in my own terms please? Don't let me die with this silly look in my eyes.

Hope all is well.

Thank you!

[Nusquam Esse]

It really is difficult at times, caught between the 'dreams' we may pursue, and the realities that we should, in all reasoning, accept. People like me don't generally die happy, surrounded by people... and the impact of our passing is usually felt long after the passing of a person, as people mourn lost potential rather than a man. In the end, the best we can manage is to die while being true to ourselves, since we cannot be happy in any path we take; the only settling we can tolerate, is the settling for mere satisfaction. :) Thanks for reading.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

i was and am an idealist---when i first started at SIU back in 1968, i shopped at a store called Kaleidoscope...it is still there...i used to buy black light posters and other weird stuff---well back in those days...
maybe i was delusional as well as idealistic, but i saw the world differently...and hoped for different along with many others.
and now there are just shattered dreams.

needless to say---i have related to this piece completely...in my own way of course, and perhaps i am off course with where you were actually going...but surely it spoke and speaks to me still...
now you make me wonder what i am...an idealist, or a fool.

[Nusquam Esse]

I admittedly wish I could see this store, it sounds intriguing; impressive that it is still around. I feel like I value things differently, see them differently than most; unfortunately, I do not have anyone else who I feel holds these ideals. Leaves me wondering where I will be years down the road; if holding onto a different dream will help me become 'something more' or if it will just leave me a foolish, delusional lone-soul. I am glad that you also felt this sentiment; I would try and answer the questions, but I can't even figure it out for myself.