Inside Mental Ties

The Eternal Mental Battle We Go Through When Times Become Dire

How come I Feel 

Not just feeling but hurting

Indecisive

Lost and unknown

So who will find me

Staring through life's window

Unable to influence the placement of the smallest grain

But its my life

How am I trapped?

Who put me here?

My mind?

Myself?

Constantly banging my fist against walls and glass hoping to go outside and do something......

Futile

Every try brings the walls in closer and the windows smaller

I will never have a hold on my own life

No-one knows me

Even those closet to me may as-well leave me

I haven't opened my heart yet

My mind is a complex web of 

Ideas

Thoughts

Knowledge

Idiocy

Ignorance

Failure

Incomplete

I rebound off great highs and lows

Afraid of the future and regretting the past

I scorn at the present

As I was afraid of it

And I will regret it

LET ME OUT OF THIS PLACE

WHY AM I TRAPPED?

WHO PUT ME HERE?   

Author's Note

Please Be As Honest And Frank As Possible. I Need To Hear FULL Criticism

Reviews

[Liza]

i am not sure what criticism you need; because you didn't mention your objectives. this read to me like a monologue; a heart felt jog on a hamster wheel of the mind; frustrated but trying to find a way out; i felt fear and despair. this was well written and felt sincere.

[Just Jayren]

Lamps this is ill, tbh I aint seen a better wrierour age, the part about the closest friends is genious no lie...

[Chris38]

Well you probably put yourself in it as the biggest cages are the ones we put ourselves in. The feelign of confinent was strong in this which as someone who suffers from claustrophobia I felt acutely.

[Coyote Poetry]

Ain't easy to take down the wall of safety. We allow few into our mind and heart. I like the intense feeling in this poem. A struggle to break down walls. A excellent poem. A lot of emotion and disappointment in your words.
Coyote

[Ruth]

WOW!
Potently hard hitting love!
These times are never easy to voice!
This is suffocating, in a good way, again, you have a natural talent at keeping the tempo!
xx

[Goodbye]

Your inner dialogue is quite real to me, the condition rising out of looking for the answers outside of yourself - they never come, they never soothe, and the incarceration will always remain when attempting to get your spirit, your self, from others. That's also part of the journey - getting past the external and experiencing the delicious internal. I really like the raw honesty and artistry of your writing!

With this one, I would maybe just give it another read-through, as there are a couple of points that I think could be expressed a bit more succinctly, a bit more poetically. Especially the last three lines - let your creativity go!

[.]

I like monologue poems. You see the inner workings of the authors mind..this is a emotional piece..showing the struggles that I am sure many people can relate to..well done

[Revenge<3'sMe]

Beautiful, a job well done! I can't really criticize anything on this. But I can relate to this poem and that's just amazing. Keep it up! :)


******Cheyenne******