Doomsday

A sonnet about a vulture-like teacher of mine who gets more than he bargained for in our class.

The teacher skulked across the hushed classroom,

Leaving the utmost terror in his wake,

The classmates knew of their impending doom,

Eyes sank to their grey desks, for their own sake.

The homework had been two weeks overdue,

And the teacher was simmering with rage, 

It wasn't the time for a pupil to

Play with a rubber band, above his page.

It spun, slow motion, across a long way,

Threatening to hook on the teacher's nose,

It landed, splat, on the window and lay

On the sill, the atmosphere now morose.

The teacher paused, wide-eyed, looking around,

And not one faithful classmate made a sound. 

Reviews

[Caradoc]

Hahaha!

An interesting and entertaining read. This reminds me of certain scenes from a few movies with a villainous teacher. Quite comical, in a serious way.

Nice language use. You did well in setting up the scene and the suspense when the rubber band smacks the window is easily visualized. I like how it is described is spinning in slow motion, with a hush going over the students as they watch it fly through the air. Then the teacher turning, the dread the students feel as he eyes them all.

Priceless.

[Everson Taveras]

I felt that maybe it was a little over exaggerated, and perhaps that was the purpose of the poem: by turning it into a drama and emphasizing the dread and fear felt by the student, you entertain the reader and reveal the true nature of the vulture-like teacher, like human turned animal radically by something as simple as homework.
By and by, I found it to be an accomplished piece of work. Well written.

[The old me]

flow is great. and added the wording is really well put, this makes a good poem

[Steve]

I love this. ((None of my math teachers ever looked like the one in the picture here though!)

Are you going to write more of these? I only ask since you say that this teacher got more than they bargained for.

My goodness this is powerful, I really enjoyed this. Your rhyme and flow is spot on. {Very nicely done!}